It's An Illusion

Looking into my mirrored glass, I see
A life that's gone before me
Taking my life my youth
And everything I held dear.
As I look into my mirrored glass
There are tears escaping my eyes
A torrent, a deluge unstoppable waterfalls
Escaping the very core of me!
Perturbed my mind my heart exuding, the pain!
My love's desired not...
By a silken thread hanging my life,
Echoing through my thoughts,
I knew it'll last not...
His feelings mine feelings...
My mind my heart if so desired
Were his...
From dawn to the going down of the sun
In the evening...
My thoughts were his!
And every second in between...
The tribulations, my mind is enough
I know not why am feeling,
This ambiguity, in turmoil my mind
Why should I care, if he wants not to stay!
But, gazing into my two hands
It's too late, to hold he, against me
To have to hold his visage in my hands
Caressing mine, his eyes
Whilst I whisper his name!
Hanging by a thread my life, a life am free not
to live...
Is it worth living it?
Before my eyes, I see, he the way he looks
Through me, wanting...
You've become the light of my life
A life that cares not if, it's lived or not
It's immaterial, that life is for living
Desolation resides in the recesses of my mind
Looking into his eyes I see not, love
Starring, into my eyes...
Scattering my mind my heart!!
Beyond the stratosphere...
Getting up from mine cocoon
Opening the curtains wide I see, desolation
A grey world starring at me
A gossamer impeding me from seeing, light
In the darkness of my mind...
What's up with me!
I cannot see the stars in his eyes...
There goes another tear,
another star falling from my skies!
Disguising his feelings, looking at me
But as I touch his mind with mine
I know I cannot hold him kiss him
It's killing me!
Aching for the touch, the very core of me
Looking, into his heart, seeing ambiguity
In his obsessivity...
Cannot hold me his mind
In its entirety...
Letting go, much easier
Dissipating from my mind, this illusion
But if free I cannot be,
to live in this ambiguity, I cannot
In the regions of my mind, no!
It's an illusion!!