Standing Alone..

Standing Alone 

Those words I promised you were so true

At times, I see you standing there 

Without a care looking at me 

There's was no way 

Avoiding, not your stare 

Your eyes dancing in the night mischievously 

Your whispering words setting my senses high 

That's when I caught your hands

Leading you into a little dance played on the radio.

A little charleston so much fun 

As we shimmed to and fro.

I tolled you to watch me so easy these steps  

A we stepped to & fro here  

So much laughter without a care 

Your eyes shining through 

With tears streaming with laughter 

Then reaching touching your face 

Kissed you there and then 

Before euphoria dissipated...

The moon shining above the little cottage with the green light 

Such a special light, the blue moon high above

Like a spotlight illuminating the players on the stage...
Almost like playing a game of hide and seek. 

At the open window, I sit writing to you  

My desk just below, watching out for you!

Whilst the shadows of the night I knew you were near.

Softly so near close by 

I could stretch out, touch my broken dreams...

In my dreams, I see you 

Your laughter ringing infectiously
Across the oceans,

From across the horizons far 

At the going down of the sun
I could touch the night, so dense the darkness  

Your face glowing 

Those touches as I reach out to you 

Touching your face as you touched mine my hands 

Am lost in a world of sensations your touch 

At midnight the waterfall 

We stand alone unaware of,   

Strangers passing by 

But your eyes retreated from me not.

Those shadows, 

That only you and I
Can see..

                   
                             By Connie James..

       

   

Not A forgotten Love.

Not A Forgotten Love

The strangeness of a forgotten love
Whether we like it or not
But the only thing I know that love's strange not
Eminently love's not so strange love above all
Believing or not in the strangeness of love
Whether one can hide or not
The experience whether one believes in loves experiences
The same it's not, nor have we walked the same streets
I guess yes or not, intuition I like not
I dislike my intuitive thoughts, harassing me.
The illusion of strangers in proximity
The loneliness..can not take hold
The loneliness without you, it's not an illusion
One can not behold loneliness...
Whether it's, me or you.
The illusion, when your not about
It's the elusive thought whether you're true
In the morning light the late train
It's raining it's cold it's storming something awful
The lightening so true,
Electrifying the skies so blue..
Touching the earth fork lightening
Illuminating nights the darkest earth
So exciting so beautiful scary in all
This primitive earth the excitement
The sounds as it booms loudly like a drum..Boom boom..
In the silence of the night illuminating stunningly
This earth primitively,
As one's looks through the shower of light
Lightning right across my skies my darkest firmament
In the emptiness of the room, I stand looking at you..
Just be ourselves..
Talk until we're through,
Two people that has fallen in love..
Not a forgotten love..

                       By Connie James..

Like A Poetry..

Like A Poetry...

Remember can not that first kiss.
Not very memorable.
Or was I that innocent, inexperienced
Or wasn't I in love enough,
My chosen one he was not, excited not my mind
I knew not how to kiss.
His kisses excited me not or lack, of practice.
I know not!!!
Until you came along sending shivers through my spine.
Your voice that Celtic twang.
The look of you,
That Viking I've created in my mind.
I can remember that first kiss leaving me wanting.
Beneath the sunshine.
The moon at half light intermingling with the stars
With the darkness of my nights
Lightness within
Shakily I closed my, eyes
I was holding on to you.
My hands upon your shoulders.
Just to steady me... so!
Feeling my legs buckling beneath me
Your pheromones, heightening mine my senses.
Your muskiness playing havoc with my mind.
My senses having no defences when he's about at any time.
Kissing you that very first time.
The euphoria within me could not abide
My imagination running wild.
Playing havoc with my mind at all times.
That afternoon ...
I gave myself to you the very first time.
Inebriated by love or lust, matters not.
I was lost in your hold your arms.
Whispering touching experiencing love.
I kissed your lips hungrily.
Your lips, touching mine the feeling mesmerising.
Never knew it could be such as this, that gossamer
Impeding my mind, my mind think could not...
Making love that very first time euphorically, was I!
Dragging out of me this wanting, having you close to me.
Finally my Viking his hair wild.
It's redness like the sun..burning like fire, my mind!
I let him lay his hands, as no one other had ever before.
My mind perpetually, anticipating
His words incandescently burning a hole in my mind.
My minds on fire my blood!!
As he said goodbye after such a short time.
My tears flowed like a river ...A turbulent river.
White waters spuming at all times.
Now, sitting by the riverside.
Across from the church, I see him cycling by.
The autumn leaves cascading below that canopy.
Trees bare empty like my heart.
Above a canopy of yellow, shedding through a golden light.
Its leaves carpet like shuffling like a dance...
In the distance,
Coming along the way, I see he purposely in his stride
I waited excitedly wonder in my eyes.
But, I had nothing to give!
Except, but me!
Our first kiss.
Like a poetry.

                     By Connie James...

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Mine Alone

By the highway, I stand
Where I stood so many times before
My faded jeans my faded shirt bleached by the sun
The yearning within me the long road..
The scorching sun... Burning.
The scent of sandalwood.
At the going down of the sun
When the day's through,
Living ones mesmerised, the colours so vivid so true
Incandescent colours the reds, the purples the golds
Descending behind the horizon far
Leaving me mesmerised...worshiping
The going down of the sun.
The wonder before one's eyes.
In the villages in the distance, the shimmering lights,
The lonely temple.. the gusting winds
Your hair floating in the breeze,
Your lips..your sun burnt lips!
I speak your name..can not refrain from calling you
Yet again chasing you,
Turning slowly smilingly you do
Hearing me calling you
I knew you'd be there
Always been there for me.
Listening to me,
There's always a story if you want to hear.
In many different ways, I've cared for you.
Alighting from the train I runned to you..
Taking hold of your face kissing you
And by the waterfall I dance and danced with you
Behind that shimmering curtain, I kissed you
By the sea shore, I took your hands in mine
You were wet, so handsome
Looking into your eyes I kissed you, yet again
The madness of that night I can still feel you
The fire in our blood burning wild
In the darkness of our nights,
The love in the dark..Feeling you.
By the roadside the coming bus, I was waiting for you
The Dhabas by the roadside the food..welcoming
The kettle, steaming,  that much, needed tea.
By now the purple skies the stars
Scintillating in the darkness of my skies
Raising my head high counting those stars,
Twinkling high above my skies.
In the long road ahead calling your name
Uttering, wait won't you!
The difference between loving you. like I do
Is that you're still there for me
You know..
You're mine!

I Think Not

     Why does laughter leave me!

    When, am having the time of my life

     Laughter walks out the door
     Leaving me.
     Leaving.. when I wanted to leave not
     Either laughter leaves me
     Or I leave laughter behind, is such a bind
     My soul sinks low...my tears spilling out
     My hearts breaking when they're not about
     At times, I wonder if it's worth the pain in my heart.
     When laughter walks out the door
     Or when I leave laughter behind
     Why must I be the one,
     That laughter walks.
     Laughter walks out when I want not
     Once upon a time, there was laughter in my heart,
     now misery lives there.

     Without the blood of my blood
     Those that were in my life.
     This morning I left laughter behind
     The Sister that I love with all my heart.
     I had to leave her, leaving laughter behind.

     When I wanted not

     Even when I know that am talked about
     those that once were close to my heart
     But, no one cares not, what am all about
     This thing living within me.

     When I want not this pressure upon my soul
     shutting me down when am about.
     The minor blood of my blood shunning me out
     Sticking together cowardly like a limpet on a rock
     They've not a mind of their own
     Not an original thought.
     They must follow like sheep
     Blindfolded...Without a doubt.
     Know not why I care.
     For those that I should care not
     But Is blood thicker than water?
     Or is there any such a doubt 

     That they are blood of my blood!!!

     I think not... 

                              By Connie James          

Set Me Free

Please set me free
For I am that abandoned women rootless, 
But never free.
I can scent earthiness on you, it's fragrance unmistakable 
Or Is it the scent of a woman.
Being called home from the streets. 
Entertaining she.. Obsessively 
Like an obsession.   
In his ambiguity unashamedly,
His eyes can not see beyond it.
The tap, tapping on your windowpane searching you
Tap and tapping again you were nowhere I could see
My lonely, wanderings searching that lonely night star.
With your verses of poetry floating through my mind
Each phrase ingrained deeply in my soul
Each and every moment.
As I wish on that dying star crossing my firmament
Whispering your name..In ambiguity..
Walking those lonely streets.
In the night dew, being cherished by you,
I gave you that flower, half opened in moistness of dawn,
Brightening our skies, with the rising star, of the sun.
Your the one that walks those rail tracks
In the distance, I can see you talking writing..
Those chiming bells as you pass..
From some distant church
With me kissing those petals scattered by you.
In your shadow,
I cross the nomadic races of no man's land.
And in the river where I bathe
You came to me with love in your eyes
My senses overflowing my eyes could believe not
Scenting you amongst the trees
In the moistness of the nights dew
Your words filling my mind my very soul
With the phrases, I can not refrain
Or obliterate from my mind
Phrases from the Poet who loves..        
  
  By Connie James.    

I Am Coming

I know not where you'll be at any moment..
As I alight from the bus just bellow your street
In the fresh morning breeze
With the rising of the sun, you stood there
The sunlight falling upon you face.
To my surprise..
I can see the hills the red house
Dream of my dreams...
Just like that story,
I wrote and forgotten, wrote and forgotten again
Those papers casting aside, until that time...
As if I read your mind until then, buried deeply within..    
The strangeness of he..
How can he still have those pictures of me..
Thought they'd blown in the wind..
Like an unsung song..
But as I cast my eye as he roams by..
Up the road down your street..
At the night cafe I ordered a coffee thinking of he...
The scent of the burning coffee,
The aroma feeling one's senses
That scent bringing to mind remembering..
The sound of that conch shell..
Memories the love of old that until then forgotten..
In the winds of my mind, now forever remembering.
I am coming..          

By Connie James.

Colours To Feed My Soul.

Colours To Feed My  Soul

My Eyes my Soul Needs Feeding.

It's at rock bottom at this precise moment

My soul's screaming out, set me free

My eyes can see not, beyond yesterday
Today's there's not or will ever be another day
Darkness descending, upon my me
Tears like a turbulent river
Washing over me, cold so cold whispering
In my minds mind, the illusion that I'll ever be
Someone there for me.
To make me laugh love, sing dance at every chance
Kiss a little romance making love without restraints
A chance there is not, in this heaven or earth our universe.
As one looks by, at the heavens our skies
The scintillating stars above my firmament
And the moon at half light, lighting my path
Just a little...the light between the darkness
The darkness of my nights
Transcending into, love the ambiguity within
As the crow flies between here, and the horizon far
The extremities as the condor rides, those thermal winds
Beyond infinity.
The ambivalence in me believe can not, my eyes
As it circles my midnight skies, skimming floating by.
Whilst I mesmerised look high above, those little diamonds
In my firmament, with scintillating million, stars
The intensity the love, that obsession within
Still can not believe my eyes
The Infinity of the moment
When love walked in,
For a moment.

By Connie James

Your Mine

Still between the sketches the shadows
The faces in silhouette
Faces of young and old so many, many faces,
Good looking faces of men
Words being spoken, from those unknown lips
Whether they're near or far, the distances minimal
I can taste your lips, but the scent's not yours
those kisses are not yours for I know the scent,
The taste of your lips still ingrained imagining
You not some Adonis kissing me by the moonlight
As your standing still looking at me
Loving you I have the very core of my being
Believing you were mine, not completely!
You've become part of me mine and me alone
Roots growing in my heart deeply within me.
At the sea shore paddling through..waves tickling my toes
As they come rolling in,
Foamy white waves like sea horses riding in
The seas so blue the deepness of my love for you
As those girls in the nude
Girls frolicking around you
I see your eyes roaming between those girls so nude so true
The pain within me, as I look at you laughing amongst those girls
With figures so true running cavorting around you
Ohh to be there in your arms, being here with me
But you chose the long road discarding everything.
I have my own you see within, me the memories
The pain within me is there for all to see
After so much love, so many sigh's between us.
Create, I must some new phrases of love
Forgetting, not that epic night of love
That I held you tight begging you for love
Kiss me touch me, for I'll be there for Thee
Make love to me as we used to
You'll be gone in the morning
I can see in your eyes
And I'll be left in sorrow, pain I can not abide
Silence permeates your, very being
Like an opera muted by sound
Silence breaking my heart once more
Endure, I can not the pain
Do you feel the same! I know not.
For what I feel has changed not
I love you.
O, Man You're mine
Forget not your mine.

                                 By Connie James.

Sultry Days

The sultry days of my city,
The night,
The storm, the lightning so blue..
Flashing striking across my skies,
Gusting, winds
There stood I watching taking root.
Mesmerised by its wildness, hardly able to breathe
Gusting winds breaking through,
Howling infernally
At the topmost of my roof, I dance and danced nakedly
The pitter patter of the rain, sounding more like a drum.
The thunder booming..boom booming...without refrain
Wild like my mind, when the storm came through
Running banshee like... Hair wild so wild
The excitement was there to see
As I danced and danced in my naked body,
Euphorically
Storming's like music to me.. holding hands above my head
Jumping, arms, high thrown unashamedly,
Dancing to the beat of the rain uncommonly.
My poetry wild so wild in my mind the ambiguity!
As Neruda Extols his ambivalence that only he..can do
Flashing words through my mind
Trying umpteen times, verses of poetry
The ambivalence in he, at times
The pleasure, feeling breathing touching each word lovingly.
And with the breeze from his breath quietly
Murmuring caressing his phrases of poetry...
So close he came to complete, obsessively
Torrential rains drowning his cries, the ecstasy
The euphoria within he,
Pounding hard at his door...the knock urgently.
Drenched soaked through his half naked body
Pounding and pounding again he came running through
The flash, lightning streaming blue
As his earth primitively slicing right through you
Tumbling from its axis
Thunder shaking his world, the end was upon in his mind
His silhouette I saw wildness in his eyes
By his stance I knew it was he..
The proud look his scent...
Indeed, it must be he.
Standing there before my eyes
I invited him in, where else would he go
Pulling him inside taking his hand in mine.
Welcoming him home.

                                        By Connie James.

Life After Love.

Life After Love!

An indolently sigh escaping the lid of my mind
As I wake up stretching bringing feeling into my arms
My eyes I open wide..Then close them again.
Stars scintillating little diamonds brought on by the sun      
In the depths of my mind as I think of you
That obsessive obsession,
That mountain, I must climb scaling sky-high
My mind can see not as I close my eyes
Can see not your features
Smiling reaching your eyes.
Struggling to visualise
Behind that gossamer of your mind
Revolving not in the mire of my, thoughts
Thoughts within.
Rampaging at most times
From that desultory world, I was in
Waking those feelings I buried deeply within
Living in my own limbo..
A limbo all of my own
Now exhuming all those feelings of yesterday
Once buried deeply within me.
Where once there was lightness in, my eyes
The darkness of my nights always within me.
Understanding not those visions before me
Looking into your eyes you can not disguise
The emptiness I see within you.
Looking at you I bumble through, without you
A life I recognise not.. an existence,
Indolently I danced exotically
In a fury and abundance, when once there was romance
Inherently within me in my days, my yesterday's
But you..You know reawaken me
Those feelings I cast aside,
Now a soul rampaging between the darkness
Intermingling with the light.
A soul that knows not if there's
Life, after love.

                               By Connie James.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

I Witness Love.

I Witness Love 

In a flower scented room
The Sultry evenings of my city, I'll bring
My eyes my lips whilst, your hair dancing in the breeze
The heaviness of your eyelids
Falling asleep there, your nights darkness within..
Through your window pane I see
The poetry, the silence the love
Before me you stand...
Uttering your verses of love...
Your poetry is to me a balm to my mind!
The moonlit, half moon at half light,
In the velvetiness of my firmament
The stars scintillating in the darkness of my nights
Lighting my path the blue lantern standing by,
Whilst melting was I in the noon heat.
Wishing, praying was I...
For the rain, the monsoon!
Without refrain pouring in, came the rain
Whilst standing in the cutting winds,
Slicing cutting through me...through and through..
Clouds shifting by mesmerised was I by the speediness of it
Wondering across my skies, the immensity of it..
My universe!
Whilst down bellow the river
Beneath the long bridge
My thoughts were, troubling me
Thinking to myself of he those, clandestine meetings
The many faces, in my dreams dream.
At doors, I knocked along the tracks
Above the silvery moon
I could swoon at the sight of he
As he stood there looking at me
In his ambiguity humming a tune a happy tune.
Peeping through your window                                                    
Flicking through the pages of my mind
In my poetry,
I witness love.

                                  By Connie James.

Eyes Of My Mind.

Eyes Of My Mind.

Can you feel my darling my breath, as I get closer to you
That slight breeze as I whisper you name,
Opening your eyes, I halt inside for a moment or two.
My eyes so full of you, my senses so attuned

My senses heighten my defences looking at you
Depositing feather light kisses almost like a whisper
The seeds you've planted on, my mind,
Like an explosion...My mind's unfocused...

Leaving me in the ambiguity each touch tentatively
Can you feel, do you feel not my darling the urgency in me
Kissing your lips your eyes, can not disguise my need for you.
In a dream land, I see you looking at me

Wondering why is she making love to me
In your eyes, I can see the wanting in you
Begging with my eyes make love to me
Can you see not what's in my mind..you're like a drug to me!

I want to feel your arms holding me
As if a tomorrow there wouldn't be, caressing me
Your hands whispering over me unhurriedly
Sending my defenceless senses into infinity.

Can you see not my darling, me drinking the essence of you
Looking at you greedily, my eyes knowing not why,
You have this effect on me, my senses
My, senses having no defences looking at you,

Primitive words running through me obsessively
Just like he the primitiveness of he playing havoc within me
Each time you touch me sending shivers through me
Convulsing, in the deepness of my mind

This feeling I want not ending
Whispering over me what chance have I
Whispering phrases words I want to hear when you are near
Sending my senses rocketing sky high.

 My senses my primitive heart falling apart
Sending me high grasping nothingness
Releasing the endorphins within..within my mind
The ecstasy, this lunacy that you and me

Enough I  have not, hovering over Thee
It's hard to see, one's mind's in a fog
O ecstasy do not leave me
The urgency of one's mind sending me into oblivion

That mountain I must climb, with you by my side
 I can scent the essence of you.
 In the extremists of my mind, my senses
Going through life wishing, you were present

A figment of imagination I build within my mind
When I created you moulded you whispered on to you
Endearments of love. So you wouldn't forget that
I created you in all my imaginings

My world's tumbling was it a dream
My mind's deflated cruelly, O cruelty leave, me
For I want he here beside's me
My eyes crying feeling emptiness, within.

Searching Thee, whilst my tears rolling silently
Like that streaming brook whispering by
And I hugging myself as ambiguously,
That elusive illusion that you're only on my mind

The dreams I dreamed each time thinking of you
In my imagination, I could feel every sinew, it was you!
O agony please leave me, this primitiveness in me,
Cope can not as I see he..In the eyes of my mind.
Obsessively.

                                      By Connie James,