Ambiguous Ways

Ambiguous Ways

If my eyes are the windows to my world
Then you're the one keeping me sane keeps me alive
Stopping me from combusting like a volcano...
Using my mind,
Seeing all the goings on around me...
I see your eyes following me, every which way I turn
Confounded am I, by your interest in me
Never knew, I had this curiosity that others would
Stand and stare, as if I were this extreme, je ne c'est quoi!
I've always wondered why they'd look at me
It's not as If I were a beauty, you see
Most times felt uncomfortable, by the stares
What vibes was I giving them, I'd ask my friend...
Do I look like a slapper in my, deportment!
I've never acted unseemingly, that wasn't in me
But I always loved to joke and laugh, just like anybody...
I've always been uncertain, of the way I looked
Quite ugly I thought, was I!
My neck too long, boobs I hardly had any
My feet too big, my butt...
Well, I liked not!!   
The whistling the comments, coming my way!
Really hated passing by a man, their stares...
The boy used to say, the power you have in you
With just one look one stare, so innocent you are
You could have had anybody!!
How was I suppose to know, I've loved but one man
I guess I was the innocent!
But if I were this beauty, no one ever let me know
If such a looker was I, for I never saw it myself
Quite ordinary thought I...
Why did they hate me!
I never understood beauty such as me, never saw myself
As anything but, this soul that would hide from all, and sundry
And my soul cried out please set me free
From the windows of my world, embarrassingly
Now I've passed my sell-by date, they still do stare at me!
Making eye contact as I pass by...
And there's me, starring ahead unflinchingly!!   
And the boy still says, your a beautiful woman
You could have had anybody!
But my soul cry's, please set me free, from the eyes of my world
Making my life a misery!!
Ambiguously turning away embarrassingly
Knowing not how to act, by the uncomfortable stares
Making me feel so unclean!!
If my eyes are the windows to my soul, then my nose it's, chimney
I've such an acute sense of smell, in my vicinity scenting the air
The scent all around you attacking one's senses
Leaving you senseless, as coming down to the scent of he!
The endorphins his pheromones...
You are lost in a world, intoxicatingly in the scent of, he!
Confoundedly...
The scent of the rain leaving that earthly smell
And the intoxicating flowers so heady the scent
Filling one's senses...
My ears I guess are the earphones of my world
The sounds of your baby's very first cry!
You're mesmerised by that little creature, making that protesting sound
As he came into the world...
And the crying never stops from the day one's born, till one dies
The sounds of laughter as one laughs and laughs again
That uncontrollable laughter, that hurts...
Some joke or other recounted yet again...
But the best sound to me is the sound of music
The music Papa instilled in me
It can make me laugh cry and whoop with ecstasy!
I have a piece of music for my every mood, whether am sad or glad.
Music has always been my salvation, from the highs to low's
A safety valve, from going over the edge...
Indeed, music feeds my soul!!
Setting my senses high, unimaginable sounds 
Lifting my spirits like high that condor, swaying on the thermal winds...
My lips my mouth at times in controversy
I say what I think it does not worry me...
I speak as I see, and try not to hurt anybody
My lips making the sounds as I kiss you
Your eyes your lips, down to your fingertips
As I whisper your name...
My voice accentuates my love for you...
I miss you when you're not there, it hurts my darling
It hurts when you ignore me!!
I need to hear those phrases, that only you can extol
Feeding my mind heart, imaginings!
That everlasting balm, making life bearable
For am starved with the need to hear you say, what if
What if my darling, what if I were to say
I love you!
The sense of touch at my fingertips and yours
Unimaginable, the senses navigating through you
As you touch me lightly almost like a breeze
The touch of the night silently, sending tremors through you
Whispering silently, your hands over me...
This sense as a butterfly depositing upon you,

from your head to your toes kissing you... One's mind working overtime...
The urgency of your touch sending shivers to my mind
The uncertainty the ecstasy in how to deal, with such feelings
Cruising through you...
As I touch you lightly ever so lightly,
With my lips my mind the whole of me
Crying out for release, one's mind...
Sweet surrender!!