Crucifying Me ***

Crucifying Me

Why would you, crucify me,
My lovely!!
Missing you.
But why should I miss you
When you miss not me?
There's a fire in my heart, embers high...
Feeling not too well my lovely...
My body's giving up on me, I hurt within, me
I feel that...No!  let's not go there!
But why should you care, empathy not anywhere
My curiosity is such, had it been me
That delve would I be had-it been thee
There are tears in my heart
A deluge drowning me...
Swiming against the tide always will I be!
Falling into a chasm of mine own making
I know you care, not...
Yet silly fool am I!
Into your arms running at a click of your fingers;
Missing your eyes gazing at me!
That look, that sends me inexplicably barking mad!
I've tried and lost the plot when it comes down to you!
It takes every once of me
Not to call you in the night when am in need of you
When it's so dark and I can see not a silhouette
By the window...
Lying in my naked body, feigning sleep
My body cries out for you, love me do!
But it took all I possessed,
Not to crawl to you to love me,
Instead, am pretending, am sleeping
Lost in the labyrinths of my mind
Falling into a precipice and you're not anywhere
To stop me from falling into the chasms, of my mind;
A sadness runs through me,
I can bear not to see you flaunting, about with, she
But why should I care, it's not the skin of my nose
When she'll turn around and walks away from thee
I just hope she loves you better than me!
In the darkness of my nights reaching you
But you're not there my lovely your not there
Insidious thoughts, on my mind,
For a song is missing in my heart, not smiling
Out of my window, I see
A world that includes not me
It's as dark and lonesome as can be
A gossamer cloud impeding me...
There are tears falling from my skies
It doe's, not help me
From visualising you in the eyes of my mind
Are, as blind as can be
For I cannot see thee!!

                            By Connie James

In the eyes of his mind... *****

In The Eyes Of His Mind

Je'taime she says
"I love you"
Says she sitting at the table writing
Quite she wasn't sure...
Some story some poem!
The wind caught her hair through the opened window
Flickering over her face, making her look up!
Listening to the wind
It was rather a windy night a beautiful night
With the scent of the shore reaching you
You can smell the sea before you can see it
Inhaling filling your lungs such a lovely smell
Waves can hear beating against the rocks
That whooshing kind of sound
As you lie there you can see the gulls
Swaying screeching chasing other birds
Looking so majestically. as they ride the thermal winds
The lighthouse shedding her light
Right across the seas warning seafaring vessels,
It's rays looking rather magical;
The flickering candlelight, lighting her face
There was, pain and sadness in her eyes
But most of all that certain something
Beauty some would say
Unaware of what others saw in her
Wondering why they would stare
Making her feel at odds with herself
She liked not their stares
There was a knock at the door
Seeing him standing there
Filling her heart with gladness
Tripping, running reaching him in her arms
Encircling him so tight she daren't let him go
Gazing up at him!
Walking back to the table hands the letter
She had been writing
This is for you!
Haven't got much time the boat leaves soon
Holding hands reaching up to him
Kissing him fully his mouth for the first and last time
That letter rather faded now I still have it
It still retains the scent in my mind
Of that time when there was love between us
That yearning never leaves you
His smile lighting up his face
Recollecting seeing her
In the eyes of his mind!!

         

In Your Heart *****

In, Your Heart
       

This is the first day of your life the, first day of your days
Start from this very day, live a life that's full, in every way
From now on may, the Lord bring peace to your mind
Lucidity into your, eyes laughter into your heart
Wherever you go, may you tread lightly in step
Foraging through life with an easy mind,
Laughter in your eyes, love in your heart
As you gaze into your world with an opened mind, heart
With a sure foot step forward, look not behind
Move, forward, with a lucidity in your mind
A strength impossible you thought existed.
In the very extremities of your being...
I know exudes from your heart, a kind soul that you are
Feeding those that have nought, in their lives 
Uncertainties allow not, in your mind
Forage through you must in the days of your life
Ambiguity show not, ever anywhere
Follow your star, it's there
Has always been, from the start
Grab the bull by the horns, as they say
And be strong like that, bull in your mind and heart
In all the days of your days,
Step assuredly as you travel, through life
Looking, those straight in the eyes, waver not...
Always, in my mind my heart, you'll be
May the breeze whisper, over you
Make your heart sing, when the days through
May it make you smile, when your feeling sad
When your throat, constricting when you're in pain
And may the moon, come to you restore you
Shining, light through to the recesses, of your mind
Restoring your mind, with a strength, impossible you though
Letting the illusion, disperse not from the sight, of your eyes
From the days, the beautiful days of your, days
When lives meant, such a lot in the days, of our days
And may you walk gently, through the days of your life
Letting the sunshine,
Upon you warm, you embrace you
For all your worth, making you smile, in your heart
A life that can bear not, when you see cannot,
That love's inherently within you
Forget not the elusive illusion, love liveth within us
And may you gently, walk the streets in, the recesses of your, mind
A mind that minds!
Whether there, ever was love, or not
In one's heart...

You've Killed The Feeling... *****

You've Killed The Feeling


Frontiers we hand none,
When we were first new...
Everything and anything would do
My darling you've killed the feeling
I had for you!!
These words I've written, by the moonlight
No other light would do...
Between the Autumn,
And Springtime, I've lost you!
It seems like yesterday, a lifetime away;
My mind, my body missing you...
You're not here my love;
But somewhere along the way, chasing shadows
And by the light of the moon
I am praying that you,
Will favour me as you used to do...
Scattered beneath my feet the Autumnal fallen leaves
Above-canopy of glorious colours
Made me feel like a queen...
But you've killed the feeling, my darling
You've killed the feeling;
The impression you had of me
The little things you did,
First and foremost in my mind...
There were no frontiers, between us
Your mind and mine...
The consequences left me, frustrated feelinginconsequential...
Looking into your eyes blue
Running, my fingers through your long hair
The colour of the burning sun!
Singe-ing my fingers, merely touching you
But in the between times of Autumn and Springtimes
Living me, like that bird of the night,
Singing in desultory...
In the eeriness of the night,
when peace descends upon my world, singing 
My hearts fragmenting tiny little pieces
A mosaic, impossible to rebuild.
Merely existing, yearning...
You've killed the feeling, in me.
Recollecting, my mind nothing, fazed you
Always eagerly awaiting the moment
When I'd kiss you;
Your eyes mesmerising, oceans blue
But loves not always true, what's happened to you?
I'd like to know!
Still asking the question, boring I know!
But you've killed the feeling, don't you know!
But in the darkness of mine nights
In, the moments I've enfolded, you
The scent of you comes to mind, a dopamine
Missing you!!
And through the opened window letting the night's
fragrances through;
My senses high, the eagerness of you;
In mine veins the blood's, as red as my lips
One more touch one more kiss...
The ultimate surrender, reaching a point of no return
New phrases come to mind,
Verses phrases of love, the poet in me!
That ultimate night, of love
I'd whisper between your lips
Searching for, kissing your heart,
My words were born just for you!!
But, you've killed the feeling...
You've killed the feeling!!

It Used To Be... *****

It Used To Be

Cannot reach your mind
Darling;
There's this gossamer impeding me
From seeing you in my mind's eyes
Even the moon, in her full bloom
Hidden, behind the trees;
That awesome, vision reminds me of thee
But you've been, silent quite sometime
And I cannot reach, your mind
The silence's killing, me
Why, would it be,
You're, punishing me!!
But for what punishing, me!
Understanding not,
Ambiguity, taking hold, of me
How can one weep, so many tears
Like a river spilling, from me
Abandoning me!!
I'd love to know, the reason
Maybe just tired, of me!
Tired of you, I'll never be
My reason, for living through, my days
The sun shines not my way;
So dark in my heart, achingly...
Yet I see, your cold blue, eyes looking at me!
They've become cold so cold!
Like those icebergs, you're photographing
Hardening your heart what can I say!!
In the darkness of my nights missing you
You've turned, off the lights, in your eyes
Matters not how hard I try!
I cannot reach, the stars in your, eyes
But behind your windows I see you!!
Tormenting me!!
In my bones, I can feel your reaction to me
It's so hard to imagine, you thinking of me
Unfavourably...
I've become not, the apple of your eyes
Or maybe a thorn, on your side...
But, I imagine, you still kissing my, eyes
my lips eagerly complying
Making, love on those, fields of green
In our primitiveness, what a scream!
Now we have, nought to say
Never thought it would come, the day
That we'd pass, the other without, a say
In my heart tears, choking the breath, from me
But in my mind's eye's I still see he!
As he used to be;
Laughter in his eyes kisses, for me
And a cheery hi,
It used to be!!