Young Old Lady

Indeed a very young old lady...
It's not what we see in our mirrored glass 
That's inside of us... 
But what we carry in our minds our hearts 
Our mirrors see's not what's in our hearts.
Whilst our minds fighting with our minds 
That what one sees in our mirrored, glass it's not us 
But a stranger staring into our eyes
As the years goe's by our minds attuned becomes
To the changes In us...
That woman's not me, staring back at me 
As I touch my mirrored glass...
Tracing my fingers along the lines of my, visage!
With a tear in my eye...
The years robbed me of my youth
Where's the face that shone with light in her eyes!
Mischievously painting life, with her eyes.
Each look. That we took 
Wondering why, life has passed us by
But even in my sale by date, gone by... 
There's life behind those eyes...that still lives,
Mischievousness...in my minds there's  
Love laughter dance and music ever after
In the days of my days
So dearest Cuz...
We're indeed very young old ladies 
In our minds eyes, our hearts... 
Bless you Cuz, X 

By Connie James...

Rising Of The Sun...

You are like that rising star

I see across the horizon far

Unfurling before my eyes like a flower

Cascading like a molten river of gold viscous  

My eyes, rising to the stars in your eyes 

As you unfurl before me!

Indolently dancing close so close to me!

I reach up to touch your face 

Your body indolently moving  

As we sway to & fro...in a dance. 

Taking hold of my senses, 

My senses has no defences as I kiss your eyes, 

The colour of my firmament bluest of blues

Whilst your body gold so golden glistening 

As I hold in my two hands your face 

Kissing your mouth your eyes!
Whilst the stars playing games with my mind  

Falling like a waterfall golden, viscous liquid  

Dispersing from the vision of my eyes, unfurling   

Rooted to the spot was I, believe I can not 

You're leaving without a goodbye!

Is it an illusion, my mind unfocused  

As I reached to touch your visage tentatively   

O lord, let the illusion disperse not

This illusion before my eyes 

My eyes seen has not, love within.

Looking into your eyes, bewitchingly. 

I can see, you dis-furling before me  

Leaving me anguishedly, 

As I reach up reaching highier, reach I can not,  

This illusion before my eyes dispersingly 

O Lord, let this illusion disperse not 

If my eyes can see not, 

That golden river viscous...

Scintillating little stars dispersing before my eyes.

Rising again...the miraculous unfurling of the sun. 

It's rays extending far and wide, mesmerisingly 

Raising, my hands high to the sky's 

Before me, the rising sun's emerging   

Unfurling before my eyes bewitchingly  

Raising, my hands to the sky's 

Shutting my eyes...

Worshipping, that glorious star 

Unravelling  each morn like a flower   

The rising of the sun.     

                              By Connie James...

     

    

Alone...

This morning my world's pressing down on me 
There's a heaviness in my heart 
A gossamer over my eyes that wake I want not.
There's pain in my heart
Why lonely must I always be, if those in my world 
Understands not me
Understands not what I am what I'll be
Turmoil resides within me...
Ambiguously my mind chastising me for thinking not
Spontaneity rules my life my world
Thinking not always
But the ambivalence in me as I live from day to day
Living a day at the time's my way.
Care not always what I do or say
But my nature is to love those in my world
But if at times my language fall's by the way, side
In something that I do or say...
Always has been my way to speak my mind!
But if those in my world care not to hear what I say.
Best stay away, from a mind that thinks not, always
At war with my mind, in what to do what to say...
But if careful I have to think, my mind filters not
My thoughts it happens not in any way.
Flowing through they come, whether good or bad
The essence of me, why must I be me this being!
This being that now's not that cope's can not
Living from day to day
Trying letting not the turbulence within my thoughts
Escape from the corners of my mind
My mind that does not dance and sing at all times
But sinks in the mire of my thoughts
When there's doubt within my mind
Much rather my heart sang and danced at every change
Except darkness robbing the light from within my mind
Extracting not that gossamer impeding light
From my eyes living me in darkness
Alone!

              By Connie James 

A Little Prayer

Lord my Son's in need of Thee!
His mind his soul's in ambiguity
O, Lord cast your eyes over he
He can function not from his, day, to day.
Communicate, with those outside his world
An impossibility.
Seeing them as his extreme enemy's within he.
His mind that cannot abide, those that look at he
Lord my son's in need of Thee
In ambiguity
The uncertainty running deeply through his mind
His mind's troublesome most of the time
Cope cannot with those around he
Making his life a misery!
The obsessive obsession inherently within he
O Lord won't you,
Won't you O, Lord cast your eyes over he
A beautiful baby he was
With his curly hair his big beautiful brown eyes
Such a good temperament was he...
The light shone in his eyes...
The light of my life was he,
But he laughs no more, their's pain in his eyes
The boy with the long lashes, beautiful eyes!
He's such a beautiful heart, O Lord!
Beautiful soul, his manners like no other.
Oh Lord cast your eyes over he
The ambivalence in he
In turmoil in his heart is he.
Knowing not how to be he!
His mind's running obsessively
Functioning not as he should be
O Lord cast your eyes over he
He that lives in ambiguity!
So move forward he can be
From the obsessive obsession running through he
O Lord won't you, please cast your eyes over he
I ask not much of Thee for me!
Can one love one's children too much!!!
I know not O Lord.
But my son's in need of Thee!

                                   By Connie James.

Peace Amongst Earthlings

Hello, World!
Here we go again Connie's about!
Give her a wide birth I hear you say
It's the story of my life everything I say.
Is misconstrued in some way!
But if what I say, upsets anyone it's not meant that way
Oh lord am tired of curtailing what goes through my mind
Just in case I offend this or that family member in, anyway
Somewhat's must be wrong with me
If every time, I open my mouth my mind you see,
I've upset some member of my family,
With a comment, I've though nought, about
That'll teach me!
O! Imbecility please free me from my mind,
My mind that at times, logically thinks not
For indeed an imbecile, I must be
If curtail I can not my thoughts
My thoughts taking hold of me, my mind my very being.
Obscuring the light
That in darkness I must be all the days of my life!!!
Those that share my life or not
With love or dislike...
Even those that hate my guts
For being me!
But being me is all I can be, I know not any other way
If those in my life understand me not in any way!
An imbecile I must be!
Does imbecility causes pain in one's heart tearing it apart
When one sees shunning, that starts a war in my heart
Fighting every day of my life to drown the hurt within me
It's an impossibility unless I quit from feeling with my heart
But my heart quit can not it know's not how to quit.
A masochist I must be if I carry all this within me
This pain, this asphyxiation of my breath.
Waterfalls flowing from my eyes control I can not
Extreme pain within me...
But used to this I must be that's a possibility of my being,
Causing panic amongst the pigeons.
Divorcing I must be those that are blood of my blood
If, ever am to have peace of mind
Peace amongst us earthlings...
Is a must.

                                      By Connie James.

The Man Boy Next Door...

The man, boy next door is like a balm to me!
Each time I see him I quiver within
I know when he's in when his lights shine through
Can help not but say how do you do!
I can see the light shine in his eyes
When he looks at me! Oh, my!
His face I touched, slightly so
With fingertips a touch, a caress, lightly upon his visage.
Remembering it felt like stars in my eyes...
My eyes could not disguise the look in his eyes...But!
The ambiguity, in my mind, there I must go not!
Ambiguously my minds telling me, so.
That the man, boy next door's not for me!
We talked so easily right from the start
Ambiguity inherently right on my mind
I mustn't whatever I'll start,
But the boy! Is stealing my heart
But the man, boy always on my mind...
We talk about everything right through the night
Oh, dear lord what have we started
I mustn't let the boy take hold of my heart
I mustn't play a part in stealing his heart!
I want not to weep in the dark
Wanting to feel his lips on mine
When am feeling  his arms about me
My hands touchingly...
Caressing his face with my eyes.
Yet we're so far apart the boy and I!
In his mind, taking hold of me I must let him not,
Thinking of me right from the start
With his eyes, his mind with his heart
The man, boy and I! stop we must...
I must nip this thing in the bud
I want not to hurt his heart...
He soothes my, mind my soul he's,
He's like a balm to me healing my mind my soul
He's a troubled soul, just like me!
To hurt the man, boy I want not I must not do.
Saying he has enough love for me for he
On my mind burning a hole!
With his eyes.
But he's making eyes at me!
The man, boy next door
As I gaze at him lovingly!
But, much too young he is for me!
There I mustn't go not indeed, I must not.
Oh please save me!
Thoughts in my head about, he.
Him I must let not, take hold of my heart!
The man, boy next door
Is not for me!
                          By Connie James