Divash!! --

Divash!
It's been a while since I've made, you squirm
I'll try not to be too crass, promise.
He with the sexy eyes...
In your eyes, I see stars scintillating
Above my darkest skies my, velvety firmament
I can see the promise exuding softly
From your mellow eyes...
Gazing into her eyes dreamily,
The way you look the way you stand
It's enough to have the birds falling
From the trees at your feet
As you open, your arms wide
Gathering your favourite, bird
Holding against your heart, with a sigh;
Reaching up to you for that much-promised kiss
As she touches your mind with hers
Fibrillation within your heart!
Like a symphony a chorus in your mind
Holding her tightly tormentingly...
Your eyes!
From the depths of you exuding that need
To possess, to touch to kiss her eyes, her lips
Touching your mind, with hers
Oh, what bliss!!
Like a band of violins screaming, within you
& you the maestro conducting, that symphony
playing your heartstrings like a dream.
Melting before her emerging, in a scream
The boy with the sexy eyes, gazing at her in a dream
Oh, my!!
Forgetting not to play, the game of life
To reach out to dream
For dreams do come true it's right, within you
Just like a breeze escaping, from the depths of you
Catch up you must do...
You'll know when the times through
Like a meteorite hitting, you between the eyes
Right there in your heart,
As you wake up from a dream!!
Que tal, que piensas me encantador
Lo siento mucho de "nada"
Mil perdones!!

Siblings Rivalry!

Does real love exists between siblings
Or is it just a front a facade
Displayed for all to see!
Or is there rivalry between siblings
A fake front, not real love you see!
If she really cared for me
Display she would not that image of me!
Could believe not what was facing me
The worst unflattering image of me
Wonder why that would be!
She felt the need
That the whole world should see
The decaying of me!
A twisted torso reaching out,
Of my reach not very flattering;
I would display not such an image of she
I have no need to bring her crashing down
Even though she looks same as me
Wonder why am weeping?
I guess am hurt you see
I now realise that pretense reigns in the family
Am broken heart-ted
Thought she really cared for me
We had a great weekend
The company the love the laughter
Exuding from every orifice
Making me feel good!
Then with an almighty bump coming crashing down;
Rivalry must there be, for I would not display she
She knew I'd hate to see!
Am feeling broken fragmenting into thousand pieces
If I wanted the world to see the decaying of me!  
For am accepting not the changes in me!
I'd plaster all over the pages from here to Timbuktu
She knew it would affect me this way
Of infamy! Rivalry worst thing to see!
The decaying of me has naught to do with anybody  
I fear this may be the last time I see she!!

                   By Connie James

Banish The Do Gooders...

This is a reply to some do gooders, making excuses for the brain dead!!
The ones that control have, not of their mouths!! It becomes a disease, crying out loud...    

So am either anecdotal fairy stories & so on...Or over generalising, or talking a load of bull...
& I do assure you am, doing neither...Knowing not what am on about!!
In my line of work have seen some awful sights, O dear my lord it's criminal!!
It makes me mad the so called do gooders, always making excuses their obtuseness their imbecility! Stop, it's time to stop must take control of our lives our ways...After all, it's only us that keeps stuffing food down our gullets, until we're bursting at the seams!! Greediness abounds everywhere...Eating out you see mountains of food piled on to their plates...
O, dear lord, it makes me feel sick looking at it, & more often than not, it's not enough getting up waddling like ducks to replenish their plates...           

But the peoples am talking about are neither anecdotal a joke or indeed a fairy tale, or an over generalisation...These people truly are fighting having a lot of difficulties in going from A to B!!
As for the swimmers, of course, some can swim faster than most, simply because the water supporting them, they become weightless as they float...But put them on their feet a completely different story...Not always their fault in some cases...Now those that have difficulty in breathing...Such as the asthmatics, those working in the building trade Plasterers & so on...
Those that have worked with asbestos, suffer badly with breathing problems, not their fault either, not having the right equipment & so on in the work place ...Not a joke as they're fighting for breath those that suffer from the thyroid glands in some cases gaining weight...& those that have smoked can not breathe easily, as their puffers not in optimum condition...not necessarily overweight but their lungs are corrupted...these are the ones that cannot walk round, the corner...
Coughing their hearts out unable to breathe, not a good sight to see...
So don't come & tell me that am anecdotal or fairy tales or over generalising!!
For they are really suffering...What I said wasn't meant in a disparaging way, just stating a fact...
But we humans more often than not have ourselves to blame, for our own actions...We are what we eat! & we eat to live & not live to eat!! Can not go grazing through the day...The results obesity it's getting a real problem in our world is there to be seen! indulgence & so on...
I apologise not for my comments...

There are those always making excuses & more excuses, no one seems to be responsible for themselves...Their own actions...
& some of us that work in the system are sick & tired of policing their every move...
Question after question after question we have to ask!!! Enough's enough!
Have we not a brain of our own, isn't it about time we start to use it!? Dear lord it's a right mess!!                                        

Is Beauty Only Skin Deep!

Is beauty only skin deep!
Does it exude not from the depths of us
Aging before our very eyes;
From the day we are born we are ageing little by little
But we see not as others sees us
We're not even aware the way we look
What others see in us...
Growing up through the ages
The ages of all times
For granted we seem to take
The vision we see it the mirror glass before our eyes
Many of us sees ourselves not as beautiful
In my case was as thus
Quite ugly thought I was in the intervening years
In my mind's eyes;
Still, I see not what others saw in me
Lunacy comes to mind their eyes
Just thought that they hated me
The comments the stare's
Making me uncomfortable especially men!
How I hated passing them primitive beings thought I
Why couldn't they keep their traps shut    
Embarrassing me all the while
I was dying a little passing them by
Making me want to crawl to noises they made
Ohh My!!
The beauty of the family I was not, never saw myself as such
But sister Elsa such a beauty she was, radiant thought I
She exuded loveliness in my eyes
She being a pale face fair skinned light her hazel eyes
Grandmama seemed to favour her in her eyes
Whilst a brunette was I, olive skinned brown hair
Not what one would call beautiful, was I!
Now Ana had that je ne sais quoi look
Statuesque, that she was, she exuded that something else
The way she stood the way she looked!
Now the boys in the family were the Peacocks
Handsome they all are, it's not fair for the boys
To be as handsome as they are;
Luis, they called him the German
He was tall a pale face light hair skin fair & eyes
My playmate, he was through my growing up years.
We weren't a bad looking family there was a few of us
But it was drilled into us how to behave how to stand how to look
To the world's eyes, stand erect we must be never slouching
& look at those in the eyes, those that talked to us
I could go on about every one of us
But that would take too long, I'll keep that for my book
But beauty should not be what one sees on the surface
Bu what goes on deeply in one's heart
Our actions towards others a must
Helping those that needs, us
Advertising, not our good deeds, a must in my eyes
But this business of ageing
Our looks dispersing before our very eyes
As we glance into our mirrored glass
Gazing back into our eyes, not yesterday's image
As I touch the image on my looking glass
Gazing back at me it's not an image I recognise
A tear spilling from my eyes like not the changes in me
Quite scares the shit out of me;
Where have you gone, asks I!
Et Tu forsaking me! Am not me!
I see not deeply rutted indentations upon my visage
It's not vain that I'll be, I never was never will be
It's just a way we carry our selfs, arrogance some may call it!
I've never thought anything much of me
Never intered my mind that good looking was I!
Now, looking back in time at the likeness of me
Taken through the years
Maybe I understand why!
Those that would stare, at me...
Nothing changes must say!
But unflinchingly I stare without a care
For I never expected them too...
In the intervening of the years
A bane, they've been to me,
In the years of my life disturbingly;

                  By Connie James

Rough Like a Diamond

ROUGH LIKE A DIAMOND

Rough like a diamond around the edges,
I think that he'll be! at times wickedly
Know not much about he; except what he's told me
He's words, his writing has me in the extremities
Through the labyrinth of his mind echoings
As I sit & read his words excitement within me
For greedy, I'll be to learn more about he
He's mind's like no other, he's too fast for me
His words just pouring out of he
Crawling into the extremities of his mind's
An impossibility
In the very recesses of he!
Rough around the edges his mind can never be
Like a brilliant diamond inherently within he!
He's a soul struggling from day to day, emotionally
Just like the rest of us fighting for a right to be
Part of this world of words
Exuding from the depths of he, the wordsmith that is he
He takes shit, not from anyone, he's as fast as bullet
He shoots straight from the hip first, those that anger he!
Has me, sitting on the edge his words
In the extremities of my mind, into a world of fantasy
I find myself crawling in the very extremities of his mind,
I'll be hungry for his words irrevocably
But he's as sharp as a diamond
Just like a gun slinging cowboy fast as can he
There's nothing rough about he!
He knows what he wants,
But he appreciates not imbecility;
Just love the way his minds working; Beautifully
Intolerant of others he can be raging about
Their stupidity
Fools he can tolerate not their obtuseness anger's he
But he is also sensitive as you & me
He hurts just like anybody, fighting himself he'll be
Excepting not his world as he sees it
Raving he'll be the fuckheads as he calls them;
Bringing a smile to my eyes reading this
There goes he fighting all & sundry
I guess it's inherently within he
I know where he's coming from
Just like me fighting those that understand not me
Crawling in the mire of life I'll always be;
But his words has me smiling
Here goes he again kicking ass for all to see
He blows like a hurricane it's wonderful to see
Embers burning, sparks flying all around he
So full of energy, that kung fu of he's
As he jumps leaps & stretches like that gazelle in he
Truly awesome to see
The essence of he:

                  By Connie James...

The Essence Of You...

THE ESSENCE OF YOU

Wherever will you be!
Darling!! Where are you?
For am drowning in my own tears
An ocean overflowing
Swimming against the tide forever I'll be
From this feeling of doom cannot extract from me
In the very depths of me
Wherever you are am with you
Never far away my mind my thoughts
The whole of you's imprinted within me
As if carved in stone deeply set memories of you
Drinking the essence of you
You're the very spring where I was born
The very first sip offered me
Like the nectar of the gods
Feelings erupting from me;
You showed me loving as it should be
Awakening from the very core of me
Feelings of exultation deeply set within me
The very first time am living as I should be
I can not have enough of you, & my eyes!  
Looking into your eyes I can scent the essence of you
When our minds touch, as if lightning struck me
As am holding on for dear life
Grasping at nothingness
Without a chance of anchoring me
But you have been away from me, control cannot
These feelings outpouring from me
Desolation wrote all over me
No light at the end of the tunnel for me
Why am weeping I know not
Circumstances extenuating cannot deal with
Why am I pouring my heart, my soul
But sorrow deeply set within me
Trying extracting this feeling attacking me
Have to wait I guess for the sunshine on me
Freeing me from the depths of this hell
Taking hold of me!!

              Connie James...

Confusing Me!!

CONFUSING ME

The whole trinity
The father, the son the spirit
Intermingling into thee;
How can it be three beings within he
One's handsome dark, that stallion Italian
So sure of he!
He must have all the birds, in  a flutter
Tall & elegant in his stance
Devine is he!
He knows how to move that elegance in he
He moves in that panther, way like of his
Cautiously before pouncing
Before, you even realised the effect on you
Had he!!
The essence of he! confounding me
Beneath your skin, he'd be, perpetually;
Now the other dark soulful eyes
Ambiguity you can see in he
Exuding that something that je ne sais quoi!
Like dark pools, his eyes as mournful as can be
As if looking into your soul reaching into your mind
Confounded I'll be;
For all times, for he's as quiet as can be
Watching your every move
Ambiguity in his eyes for all to see
There's never a pip, from him;
The other like a child in all innocence
Like that child in me...
Questions upon questions there'll always be
There are tenderness in his eyes
In his vicinity, in his gaze, nothing escapes he
Soaking like a sponge the computing in his mind
Setting to memory;
Profoundly you can see, that gaze in his eyes
The quietness, the serenity in he
Peace of mind inherently, within he seems to me
Working out his mind you can see the cogs turning
Beautifully!
Watching your every move;
But there's this silver fox
Exuding from all three he's the talent
He's the maestro conducting a symphony,
Baton in hand, in his stance you can see
From every pore of him exuding sexuality;
My peace of mind's none existent
When he stares at me
That piercing gaze right through me
He's as naughty as can be
For all the of three his most interesting to me
Toujour J'aime lui
He plays havoc with me my mind
He makes me think with my mind my body
Evoking feelings I'd buried within me
Like awakening from a dream intrinsically
Awakening I want not to be
In my dreams, I can see he!!
Calling to me!
Wickedly smiling at me his lips, as I kiss he
Am lost, am lost in that moment in time
As I cast my gaze over he
Fleetingly away from me I see He
I see fire in his blood matching mine
As I go from A to B to Z
Lost for, all times will I ever be!
He does nought by halves, disturbing me
Confusing me;

              By Connie James
 

A New Beginning

My sky's at the night
in the darkness of my firmament
as I look at you in silhouette;
You're as distant as the stars in my sky's
beyond my universe;
& the blue moon in her element
shining upon you
her light sublime...
That haze surrounding you
as if a deity you'd be!
But darling I miss you with my mind my body
I miss gazing into your eyes,
seeing into your soul your mind!
& I know, I know that you gaze at me from afar
in your own way thinking of me.
But I'd rather have you near me
for your the stellar in my sky's!!
Underneath my skin, you are from that first moment
I gazed at you from across the room...
That wicked look in your eyes invitingly;
But as I gaze upon those stars in the distance
in the velvetiness darkness of my nights
I imagine you when sleep, I cannot
This yearning within me, thinking of you,
to feel you close touching you!
Look into your eyes your mind touch your lips with mine...
running my hands over you the way you like me to
softly, feeling every curve of you!
Feeling your heart beating beneath mine...
But, you're as distant as the stars in my darkest skies
scintillating upon my firmament;
& that shooting star skimming across
my darkest blue'st velvety skies...
I close my eyes reaching high making a wish:
But my wishes rarely do come true,
when it comes down to you!
At a distance you keep me, don't you!
You're scared to feel, with your mind your heart your body!
I can feel every sinew
running my hands over you
as I kiss you your lips your eyes;
Under my hands, you tremble, shutting your eyes!
as I whisper to you, holding you close...
As I travel on, convulsing under my touch
I can see the stars in your eyes!
Touching your mind with mine;
I could kiss your mind;
Playing havoc with my senses.
But there's this fire within me, my blood
as this primitive being residing within me
losing control convulsing my mind;
In confusion goes I inexorably.
struggling to feel;
But my need is greater in the darkness of my nights
longing for your touch;
The whispering winds I can hear
Near me, close to me!
Whispering endearments of love...
The hunger within me, hearing you, whispering
incandescently verses, phrases of love,
As I reach & touch your mind one more time
As in the early morning dew, I dream of you.
That star scintillating dispersing before my eyes
before the rising of the sun came rushing in;
To a new beginning!

                By Connie James

Tormenting Me!

A little prayer...

Lord!
I understand not me!!
I've sinned against Thee, it seems to me
For my sin's been too much jabbering
Too many words exuding from the depths of me
Not because I've killed or robbed anybody
Or spoken ill out of anyone
Or indeed, did a bad deed
Or even wishing ill of anyone...
Accursed I must be;
Those I care for always deserting me
Confounded I'll always be
If those that know me understand, not me
I've always been told that I talk too much
Too many questions I ask
Has always been such with me
It's not just, am a nosy Parker...
My curiosity will be the ruination of me
But it's a way of communicating
Those that interest me;
But lord if one asks questions not
How does one get to know anybody!
For I am an open book you see
Interested in everybody...
That's what makes me, me!!
But my sin exudes from within me
My curiosity to learn from those,
in my vicinity, a sin must it be!
You know Lord!
What's said to me stays with me
I spread not to all & sundry
Even as they fall out with me
Intrinsically it's guarded within me
You see Lord there's no one out there for me
To listen to my woe's my worries
Am so tired of being just me!
I know we live in a selfish world
A world of just me, me, society!
I like not this world I find myself in
Just me, depending on me;
But why should that surprise me!
Those that I care for will always desert me
Even when I cry a river I cry guardedly
Wanting not anyone to see my misery...
A sinner I must be Lord!
Maybe it's inherently in me;
I love to laugh joke be naughty
Have fun  & whoop hilariously
Let my hair down, just like anybody
Why have you deserted me O lord
Just like mama deserting me
Leaving me standing there weeping;
Why did she die on me!
Tormenting me!!
A sinner I really must be!!
A troubled me...

        Connie James...

Music in my heart...

MUSIC IN MY HEART

As the music extols, intrinsically
From the beginning, you must start
that's, you & me;
Ahh, darling, that's precisely what, I'll do
If it takes, every once I possess, within me
I could kiss, every inch every pore, of you.
In the stars, evoking, telling you
Shedding, their light upon my, darkest skies
Whilst the moon, in her element
Shedding, her light sublimely, showing me
That's, where I must start, at the beginning
This need, in me to hold, to kiss you
Echoing through, me at this moment, in time
Burning, embers in my blood
With the nearness, of you
Unfocused, my mind becomes 
The scent of you!!
In my mind intrinsically...
Drinking, the essence of you
It takes, all of me,
Every, once in me to hold, back
Slow down, my minds telling, me
But, my heart, reasons not why!
Brush me, aside not darling
As if swatting, a fly;
For am, playing with you,
I can feel, your every, sinew;
Watching, my every move, I can see your eyes
Ahh, darling!
I can feel the beating, of your heart against, mine
As I brush my fingers, through your hair
Touching your mind, with mine
Into your soul, I can see all, of me
In the depths of your, eyes
That, constriction within me,
Asphyxiating, my mind!!
That ache within, me when I need, you
Echoing, through me a heart, ecstatically
Be there; when there's music in my, heart
My visions of you, just like music 
Straight, to my heart;
Kiss your lips, oh, my!
The ecstasy, as I look into, your eyes
& see, your need for me!
Brush me aside not, darling
Echoing, within me this symphony;
Whispering, over me your hands one, more time
Like embers, burning my blood
That uncontrollable, urgency in my minds, mind
Hanging over you, my hair you, cannot see me
But, I can see you, in the eyes of my mind;
Back, to the beginning, once again 
Exploring, every contour...
I can feel, every sinew...
In my minds eyes!

                     By Connie James