Must I Be Good! *****

Must I Be Good

By Connie James

Darling, must I always behave!
Kiss, me!
Feeling wanting, devilishly.
Last night wanted you to love me
Was feeling out of sorts
The feeling eluded from me
I was feeling inconsequentially sad
But you always brighten my days
As you came out and said Hii!
Ahh, darling...
Have you any idea what it's like to be me
As I sit here waiting for you to remember
That I do exist
Leaving me devoid, of human contact
Going about my days without a word to say
Why must I always be, good, why?
The sun shines, looking into your eyes.
Your killer eyes!!
Making me feel surreal;
Smiling, laughing mocking me
With each word uttered, seeing the confusion in me
Tired of behaving, darling!!
Just kiss me!
Am I allowed not to feel devilish
Confusion there's not, in the way I feel for you;
This feeling of incompetence always, be with me
When I am around you;
Try real hard to make you see me, as I do you
This being breathing living;
But that's the crux.
Wanting to wrap, myself around you like a limpet;
Feel you move like we used to do
Darling feeling devilish;
As you prance in your stance before me,
Flexing your muscles for me...
How great would it be if you just love me!
No doubt in my mind I like what I see
Yesterday walking, through the woods we had much to say
Hunting for that elusive flower bird or fungi!
A field of bluebells stretching before me
A vision a sea of blue their heads dancing, in the breeze
Stood there awestruck, holding my breath
The thought came to me, how wonderful would it be
Making love on that wondrous field of blue
With the birds singing a symphony, rising all around me
Looking at you, you're eyes are smiling
Smiling in your heart, the vision affecting you
As you point your camera taking, a shot or two
Mesmerised by the view;
Enriching my senses as I photograph you
Photographing the view...
A thought came to mind that there may be a God
After all, nature, filling our senses.
The suns glistening through the trees, like a star
Twinkling golden rays blinding me
As I look up protecting my eyes.
Ambling through those fields of blue
And the sky, like his eyes the bluest of blues,
Behind me the sea, scintillating little stars
Cast by the sun-light glistening
Walking to the shore, a turquoise sea inviting me
Gentle whispering, come and play!!...
I looked up at, he as we laid down, lulled by the sea
Sending tremors right through me
His hands exploringly!
Yah, in heaven, were we...

 

Longings *****

 Longings

Oh, my lovely!!
Your opening a can of worms
That I've long, buried in the recesses of me
I think I know what you're saying
But this is a game truly hardly ever played
Oh dear lord, if I could get hold of you
I'd probably f..k you senseless
This hunger within me, searching for lucidity
I've made love to you in my mind
I've initiated lovemaking of fu..king as you'd like to say
Making love, blowing my mind
I never knew it could be such as this
But with you in my mind, it was easy!
Would you say, that's awfully bad of me!
Oh dear Lord the sensations cruising through me
Explain hard to say, as if dopamine entered my blood
And I had nought to anchor me, my mind took me
As you touched me...
Am glorifying in the ecstasy electrifying my mind
beyond the realms of reality...
That feeling still reeling within, me!!
Casting that seed in my mind it's hard to see
Where this can take you and me...
But it's only a game, taken not too seriously.
Working overtime my mind overwhelmingly!
Mind games hardly ever experienced,
Except in my mind, when am writing...
Not the same feel though!
Do you realise what it feels...
Under wraps kipping you, on to me...
I bet you'll run a mile,
Am not saying I love you
Just lust maybe!
Why couldn't you have been an ugly brute,
But you too easy on the eye
Filling my mind with longings
I've always tried playing down, this feeling
But how does one play this game, our minds!
I know not!
Now if were you here before me right now
I'd probably disgrace me, myself !!
Kissing you assiduously taking, your breath away
But all this is in my mind,
The reality of it good, God have you ever!!
How can one play games without touching!!
Or is it a touching of minds!!
I know not!!

As If a Dream *****

As If In A dream

As if waking from a dream
There's he, over me!
Commanding me, to move not!
On my back lying rubbing the sleep from my eyes
Confusingly, looking up as he so masterful!
His gaze penetrating me, move not, not an inch
As he peels my clothing;
My eyes watching, he as I lay there
His eyes smiling, his hands touching me
My peeks his hands, over me as I try to move
There's he admonishing me holding my hands down
His eyes looking deeply into mine
Shaking his head;
As he moves on, his own sweet way
Head thrown,  my mind's screaming
Arching my body as he slowly kissing my neck
My peeks, punishing me for moving;
Excruciatingly!!
Every little move his eyes watching me, the brute
Punishing me slowly, making my skin tingle
O'dear lord the ecstasy, must be dreaming!
In a frenzy moving his fingers tentatively
Like a spider feeling its way blindly
Over the ivory's of his piano, tunning me!
And each touch an agony;
Kissing my belly holding me steady
Impeding me from moving.
Tossing me around, like a rag doll
Kissing my neck, running his nails down my spine
Hovering over me, his lips punishing me
O'dear lord! Please let me move;
Growling in my ear said he, move not!
It took every ounce of me to stay still
Not to struggle in any sense
My mind my senses so attuned, in a frenzy
Tossing me on my back, finally
Flowing my tears the punishment's too much
Within me was screaming;
Enough I've begged of he!
But listening he was not his hands
On his intended path, like a printed map
Euphorically, kissing me!
And I cried abandoned-ly too much!
Too much. Was I in hell or in a dream
Burning embers in my blood, about to erupt
Clasping at nothingness
Nought to anchor me;
On the Richter scale oscillating measuring
7.9 in centigrade or Fahrenheit I cared not
I took all he had to give in the momentum of ecstasy
Cruising into a dimension, before I've never been
Erotically...Into oblivion, not a reality,
In my mind refusing to believe
That I was not in a dream!!
 Frustratingly

               By Connie James

Where Are You!! ******

Where Are You.

Waking up stretching high
Like a feline cat clawing out from sleep
Stretching one limb at the time
Arching my back like a contented cat
Fresh blood rushing up my spine
Clearing my mind;
A cacophony of sounds running through me
Like an infernal symphony
Ringing in my ears
Blocking all thoughts of you
Bells ringing,
Crashing wooshing waves upon the shore
This infernal noise at times too much
Impeding sleep...
But my thoughts are never far from you!
Sitting here in mine cocoon thinking of you
Why sad, says here beside's me
Trying to fathom me;
Why should I be sad, says I
Is there a reason why I should be
A tear welling from me!
For my thoughts were of you,
Silently my tears flow
Such a long time since I last saw you
Donde estas, my lovely
Where are you?
But you answer not me!
Leaving me in desultory
Feeding roots in my heart my tears
So deeply embedded within me,
Ignoring me
Darling wherever you are
Wherever you'll be
Far away my thoughts will never be
Why the silence darling
Somewhat's on your mind I can feel
Hot, & cold a volcano about to blow
Scattering burning embers of meteorites
Rushing through my heavens;
I can feel the heat incandescently exuding through you
Burning wild through me my mind;
But you wouldn't let me anywhere near you
My incandescent thoughts
Insidious within me;
On top of my world am standing
The highest mountain I could climb
Crying into the winds,
Snatching my words away from me
Whispering in the breeze the winds too strong,
Stilling my words from me;
Opening my arms, above my world stands I
Looking, out your way imploringly
Won't you come to me!
But you look straight through me
Like that falling star, I'll be!!
In the distance I see,
I see you trying to reach me
On top of my world;
Gazing, before me a world, untrusting by humanity
An unforgiving world;
But humanity will always be at odds with me
My mind my heart and me!!

           

Just For a Moment!! *****

Just For A Moment

The look in your eyes, I see
That look I know so well
Staring at you, visions of springtime
The catkins hanging from silver birch trees 
And from the Witch Hazel erupting little buds of pink    
Reawakening from a deep sleep... 
The wonder, before your eyes, a time of letting go...
Darling look at me!
What do you see, you're so far, from me;
I can see that far away look in your eyes
That look that tells me,
That maybe you need more than I can give
Or is it being whom I am
Expecting too much from you
Much more than your prepared to give.
My eyes are drinking the essence of you
Maybe I've become too much for you!
But in my, mind, I see the whole of you
Caressing me!
Following me across the room, your eyes
Skipping a beat a beat my heart, looking at you
But I want you and what resides in my mind.
At times runs away with me;
Irrepressibly, wishing you'd hold me. 
From across the street, I gaze at you  
Across the water from me in my minds eyes,
Through my window pane, I can see you clearly
Even though those gossamer nets of my mind
Impede cannot me from visualising
The light in your eyes!
Ahh, Darling;
Can't you see me looking at you
The hunger in my eyes!
Needing you close so close to me,
In the extremities of my mind,
There I cannot go you see.
But I'd so love you to hold me!
I too can see the hunger in your eyes
Nothing matters!
Nothing at all, you see;
Keeping your distance from me
Me, that adores you caresses you
Whispering to you
Endearments of love
In the darkness of my nights, 
I want you, needing to hold me tight
Telling me it's all right...
As I whisper on to you,
Please, darling, do look at me
What do you see!
Do you see me as I see you
Or do you see me as this infernal thing
In your, minds eyes...
Misunderstanding me!
As I try touching your mind with mine
Your eyes are telling me, something different
Wanting me as much as I do you
In the recesses of my mind
Am crying out for you,
But that won't do!
That I do know:
Just once darling just once!!
Would it do!
Would it be enough!
I stand, gazing across from you
Lust, in my eyes, my blood
Or love! I feel I know not!
But as we loved beneath, the stars
In those fields of green just like any other being;
Exaltation within me reaching a crescendo
Euphorically;
Paramount in my mind nothing;
Absolutely nothing at all;
Above us a velvety blanket of golden stars
Scintillating in the darkest of skies;
Shooting across my firmament that star
Gazing into your eyes,
And wishing on that falling star
Whispering my torment...
Intoxication in the recesses of my mind,
Just for a moment...

By Connie James

Just For Me! ******

Just For Me

Darling, feeling devilish
Come closer, ahh, darling!
Come and love me like yesterday
Many, many yesterdays, darling, kiss me
Make me, feel as if time matters, not;
The thrill;
Make me feel, the anticipations, of yesterdays
Picking, me up tunning me, tickle my frets
Run your nails, down my spine
Making, me, purr like a, she Lion!
Darling, sit there, not thinking,
One, of these days I, shall!
Feeling, devilish darling, come close play, me
So lonely you see!
You've, abandoned me here in the corner,
of this room...
You've, always thrilled me, making me purr
Plucking, at my strings, of my guitar.
How could you have, forgotten me!
Come and play, outside Al-Fresco
Tune me, ping me every, which way,
deflated I'll be!
Caress, my frets pluck my, strings and I'll
dance, for you.
Reaching, a crescendo alleluia!
Like opium, in my mind, enough cannot have,
Reaching an octave a crescendo
Revibrating through the air...
In the labyrinths of my, mind wishing
That he'd play me...
Abandoned, me!
Yah! pick me up, treat me nice
Tune her frets, gently let your, guitar purr
That awesome feeling's, up to you;
The intoxication!!
And I can see, this ecstatic, feeling
your way, too...
You can feel, my every sinew!
The highest, of feelings the purest sound
making my, heart sing!
In my primitiveness, I cry
why won't he, play me?
Almost like an ache, your guitar weeps,
fragmenting...
Reaching, for the unreachable, I try!
My whole, world trembling in her, axis
Reaching, into infinity the, highest of notes
The adrenalin, intoxicating!
As you pluck me, the sweetest of, feelings
Revibrating, through my world,
I feel vibrations...
Then slowly, decreasing whispering,
softly murmuring...
Ahh! Darling, did you feel, that did, you?
Caressing, my frets running your,
fingers down my, spine
Am like, a bird swaying, undulating
Soaring into, the eternal, winds with,
Nought, to anchor us;
This sublime, feeling exuding, through me.
Do it, again darling,
Just for me!!

A Panther On The Prowl ******

A Panther On The Prowl


Entering the portals of my domain
As debonair as could be standing
Gazing at me!
His eyes that knowing smile.
Throwing myself at He;
Like a Panther on the prowl
And I like a cat on a tin roof caring not
Whether he'd approve, past caring I'd be
As I look into his eyes
Starring right through me
Deep dark pools drowning emerging within he
I know not why it escapes my mind
My reason for living...
As I gaze at he drowning I'll be, within his eyes
My undoing his eyes hypnotising
Beguiling me;
Within me, this feeling help cannot;
Yesterday I cried as if my heart fragmented...
Of caring not he disdainfully accused me;
Caring enough not for he!
Showing I must not what's in the very depths of me
Then he'll know how hopeless I'll be
In the extremities of me, show I must not
This hopeless need for he!
Or he'll laugh at me, my inexperience making love to he
This primitive being within me
Looking deeply into his eyes I see
Amusement laughing at me!
But as I travel from AtoB I can feel every sinew of he
Control cannot me, as I take a tiny nip from his ear
Just a little nip, to wake him from his reveries
Down the map, go I
Following an image I've, build in my mind
O'dear Lord,
Stop I can not the ecstasy exuding from me
Wanting to make love to he!
Awol my mind's,
Gone a gossamer impeding me
From seeing he as a mortal
And not that God I've created in my mind;
An Adonis he'll be.
And I'll know how naughty he can be...
But at this moment in time a fig I'll give not...
Travelling down the map wondering, how will it be,
Dear lord a screw I must have lost
Here goes I around the bend,
But play, I'll always
Will he, in my mind forever be!!