Come what may...

Good Morning My World

This morning my worlds weeping on me
My skies are grey
Indeed there are tears falling from my skies
As I draw my curtains wide, wider am faced with greyness
The mist in my eyes as I try and visualise
The emptiness within
Yet I know, I know I should not mind the vision before my eyes
This greyness within, but my heart cry's
This mistiness in my eyes
As I look outside am faced
With this gossamer-like curtain  impeding me to see beyond it
Much prefer to see the lightness beyond my grey darkness
That's facing me at this precise moment
Behind this gossamer of darkness
I need not his darkness within me!
My heart's crying out for brightness enriching the very core of me
Indeed it lifts my very spirits, a hundred fold
I need light music song and laughter...
Not crawling in this mire that's sinking my spirits
Low, so low.
Good morning my world
Have a beautiful bright day
Hope the sun smiles on you,
Impeding not what's in your heart!
Come what may.

                          By Connie James...  

Feeling Blue!

Feeling blue!
Heavy heart tearing me apart
Sunrise simply manna before my eyes
Lifting that gossamer cloud
That's impeding me from visualising
You at this precise moment
There's a weight upon my soul
As if my whole world's crashing down on me
I find I can not breathe
My heart feels tight so tight within my ribs
As if in sorrow the pain for those that I miss
Feeling lost at times in the wilderness
No one's there, no one hears no one see's
My torment!
As if my whole being crawling through the excrement!
Into the abyss my mind my heart my soul!
Extract can not the feeling of emptiness
Transcending into my life
Unable to see a life before me
Before darkness, set's in
Flowing like a river my tears
As if my heart being ranged out to dry
Arrest, can not the flow...
Sun shining scintillating in my skies
Why must I feel hard done by
As if am alone so alone in my world
The birds are singing
The leaves are dancing in the breeze
The washing set out to dry
Like bunting swaying in the wind
Yet my spirits are dragging me down
Low so low. I can do nought about!
Music I must put on
To extract this feeling of loneliness
Attacking me at this precise moment
Must pull, myself together
And see!
Whatever will be        
Will be...

                       By Connie James.

You've Forsaken Me!!

The mausoleums of times past I walk through
Where they lay their dead it's true
Stretching before me I see desolation within me
Does anyone hear, does anyone see!
Visualising before me
Abandoned do I see the spirit of others pointing at me
Accuse, me not
For I can't see those in times forgotten
Don't accuse me!
Now! in death I want not to see
You pointing your finger at me!
I was there, I was there me! only me!
I was there can't you see!
Looking out for you I was there
Waiting for you to come through
I was there championing you
Encouraging you to breathe trough
You're breathing fast much too fast you see
Much too fast breathe slowly take it easy
Breathe slowly Mama!
Doucement, Mama
But you took heed not!
I knew not, you were departing from me!
That last drink that I gave you
You were gasping Mama!
Just to wet your lips, your throat somehow
But the wrong person that was me!
I could not comfort Thee
Had the words not fluently
As you slipped through my fingers
As I was intently looking at you
Touching your face just so!
Leaving me alone numb stupefied too
I knew not that you wouldn't come back to me
As you uttered Ahh, Jesus oh my God
Leaving me! Leaving me!
As tears spilt out
You left me standing there alone
So alone!
Rooted to the spot, whilst they worked on you.
But blame you I could not, leaving me, rooted to the spot
It was your time I guess it's true
27 years later am still mourning for you
Why, pick on me, Mama! Why pick on me?
I wasn't the best person to be there you see
You've forsaken me
Mama!
We gave you a send off a beautiful, send off
With all our love
With your grandchildren playing a tune on their guitars
With Mark, playing on the piano a dream of love Brahms lullaby
Paying our respects to the last...
But you've forsaken me, Mama!
You've forsaken me!

                        By Connie James

Shall We Dance

In my heart the tango
Filling my mind with yearnings
Dancing to this music all night long
And I do so miss dancing
It fills one's mind one's soul with longings
A certain Je ne sais quoi!
In one's arms holding each other
Strutting our stuff
As if alone!
Concentrating on ours moves
Just feeling the music fleeting over you
Whispering in you ear as if it needed to
Looking into his eyes
Mesmerised by the look you see
Holding each other's closely
Not an illusion of light showing between us
No clever moves did we need
Just swaying feeling the music
In my minds mind, I can see He
Standing his ground aloof in his stance
His stare gazing straight into your eyes
Without a doubt in your mind
That he's the one's missing from your life
But when the music starts
Moving in unison our bodies our minds
As if nought has ever existed
Before the music started to play
With that unimaginable feeling
Feeling our hearts bursting
That animal magnetism taking over
Your heart pumping throbbing within your rib cage
You blood thick viscous magma in your veins
Attacking our senses
As we move undulating one's hips
Dancing indolently as he holds you
Your mind's not your own
Taking control of your senses
Lost in that moment in time
As in a dream in rhythm we moved
Between us nought existed but the music
Nothing at all as we strutted our stuff you & I
Reaching a crescendo the beating of our hearts
Boiling in our veins our blood
Our minds intoxicated
We existed for the moment, in some other plateau
An elevation rising into nothingness
Finally with a sigh our minds
Ahh! Riding on a gossamer cloud
Exhilaration within us
Like the leaves on a tree dancing
Whispering in the breeze
Reaching the heights in our element we'd be
Like a bolt skimming across the floor
Fibrillating skipping my heart
Like a thunderbolt...
Before dawn rushed in...
Shall we dance my lovely
Shall we!

                         By Connie James

Flower Of Paradise

              

 Flower of Paradise

Whispering sweet nothings unyielding on to you

O flower of paradise so sweet so true

A mind that's in a fog

A brain that will think not

A body that refuses to yield

O flower of paradise come on to me

I can scent the perfume of you

My mind refuses to see the essence of you

Playing havoc with my senses the nearness of you

The air's so full the music intoxicating

My brain lull's to the sounds

So sweet as you whisper on to me

O flower of Paradise giveth on to me!

In my breast, a heart beats

To the sounds of your beating heart

And I! 
Counting those beats

My breath stops

What are you doing to me?

O flower of Paradise o love of my life

Discerningly so

Moments like these are so rare

Your yellow petals so full of dew

So heady your scent leaving me senseless

As I inhale the scent of you

Refusing to be lulled my mind
just looking at you the memory of you 

Sufficing the passion or not
this passion I feel for you
in the darkness of my nights
the moonlit light suffices

It suffices to see the silhouette of you
O flower of paradise O love of my life
so rare so true. 

Of wine we need not simply a touch
Whispering; our hands our eyes our lips 

Euphorically the ecstasy
exploring the sighs

             By Connie James 

Flower Of Paradise

              

 Flower of Paradise

Whispering sweet nothings unyielding on to you

O flower of paradise so sweet so true

A mind that's in a fog

A brain that will think not

A body that refuses to yield

O flower of paradise come on to me

I can scent the perfume of you

My mind refuses to see the essence of you

Playing havoc with my senses the nearness of you

The air's so full the music intoxicating

My brain lull's to the sounds

So sweet as you whisper on to me

O flower of Paradise giveth on to me!

In my breast, a heart beats

To the sounds of your beating heart

And I! 
Counting those beats

My breath stops

What are you doing to me?

O flower of Paradise o love of my life

Discerningly so

Moments like these are so rare

Your yellow petals so full of dew

So heady your scent leaving me senseless

As I inhale the scent of you

Refusing to be lulled my mind
just looking at you the memory of you 

Sufficing the passion or not
this passion I feel for you
in the darkness of my nights
the moonlit light suffices

It suffices to see the silhouette of you
O flower of paradise O love of my life
so rare so true. 

Of wine we need not simply a touch
Whispering; our hands our eyes our lips 

Euphorically the ecstasy
exploring the sighs

             By Connie James 

Shhhhhhh...Quiet!

With the moon at her fullness
Shedding her light down on me
What chance had I
But to go down my path like a banshee
Demented as I was
There was no hope for me
As I searched you irrevocably
Shhhh! Quiet
I need you my darling shhh...
Can you not hear me whispering over you!
Quiet so quietly so that only you can hear
Can you feel my breath on you
As warm summer's breeze
Fleetingly over you
Can you feel; my kiss softly upon your lips?
Getting a response from you
Opening your eyes as if dreaming
As am kissing you, smiling my Mona Lisa smile
Looking at you, your eyes the colour of my skies
My oceans blue so, blue
Immersing myself deeply drowning
Drinking the essence of you
As I hover over you...
In, dreamland you seem to be
As I kiss you softly
Getting a reaction from you,
That smile upon your visage
That only I know!
I feel your heart somersaulting within you
As I slowly kiss every inch of you
Shhhhhhhh!!
Quiet down my heart am making love to you
Can you feel my love my need for you?
Kissing the hollow on your neck
Cruising down like a map
Following the lines of you
I feel your every sinew
Holding me in a vice-grip, your heart beating so wild
As I count each beat your heart somersaulting too
A chance you have not
As I carry down my path, out of my mind
Jumping out of my chest my heart
Punishing me seriously!
Riding that gossamer cloud, nought anchoring me
Going over every inch of me crying out my mind
Wringing me out deliciously
Isn't the punishment's enough, as I grasp at nothing less
My senses begging crying out basta enough!
Arching closer to you.
Shhhhhhhh! says you
Into, infinity I go as I attached closer to you
With the moon at full light
A chance I have not as I cried banshee like
In the extremities of my mind
The delirium dispersing euphorically
Falling into the abyss crashing down
Anchoring myself into nothingness
In the regions of me the very core of me my mind
The moon in her fullness has a lot to answer for.
Playing havoc with my mind, my senses...

                             By Connie James...

Stillness Of Dawn

Stilness Of Dawn

In the stillness of dawn,
As one's stands and stares,
At the mirrored image reflecting 
Right there before our eyes little scintillating stars
Surmise I can not the enchanting reflection that I see...
As I point my camera lens far into the distance
The horizon far, imaginings in the forefront of my mind
Whilst the white mist swaying whispering sweet nothings,
Whispering whispers away...
My hearing so attuned to the silence of the morn...
There's a symphony a chorus on this summers, crisp morn
Melodiously, chirping away having their say
The little birds, the little creatures of our world
The early morn soundings 
Before the sun came rising in,
As it lifts its eyes up to the skies reaching high...
Where every little creature stretches and yawns
Silence descending upon their world
The magic of an early morn, before the world rushes in
Unraveling arms stretching out opening their eyes,
Casting its mesmerizing light,
Upon their world.
Rising mists unfolding gossamer-like a cloud
Dispersing from our eyes that otherwise,
Mesmerising, 
Lifting before our very eyes...
That otherwise in darkness...
Before the light shone in...

By Connie James...

Morning Dew

In the morning dew when I kissed you
Have you ever listen to the falling dew
And I kissing you! The scent of you,
Remember can not listening...
To the falling dew
On your lips concentrating sensually
So Intent was I on, your lips lusciously
Tumbling from the hills the mists rolled in,
To hold you once again, my mind could not refrain ...
As the night birds flew from tree to tree...
Between us, only the hills remained
Words one hardly uses when one's shy unsure
Retracing your steps no lantern to shine your way ...
A gossamer, like fog enveloping you mystically,
An illusion-nary vision
On that night's journey thinking of you...
In the distance the wildest flower I ever saw
Reminding me of you,
The wildness in you, your hair dishevelled
Without a care in the world
Carelessly leaping dancing over a fire so wild
Gathering fallen scattered branches about the woods                                                                           Building a fire as high as they could
The scent of burning leaves, like the Eucalyptus & bay
Shouting hollering as they leaped over the fire so high
The tribes so wild so feral as they danced around
As they leaped and dance wildly, the rhythm getting to me
And I just skipped in and dance and danced
The beat of those drums so wild throbbing, manically,
Like the fibrillation of my beating heart
Those drums re-vibrating right through me
Hypnotising me.
And I danced and danced indolently fire in my blood!
The rhythm taking hold of you, so wild
Begging you dance with me!
And once more we leap high through the fire so wild ,
As we land on the other side...
And the tribal's peoples clapping so wild
As if fire, on their blood also...
Once more they dance and danced wild whooping ,
In extreme hilarity...
The rhythm of those drum's, throbbing thorough me
The scent of fire remaining in the air still
As we danced once again still dancing as the morning dew ...
Descended upon our world,
Before the morning mists came in
Surrounding you all around
Without a care in he world...    

                   By Connie James











































 

Love Lost...

Love Lost!

On the dunes of all times
Once I heard in a lullaby
I heard mama sing
Underneath the blue; blue sky
She sang of love lost
There were tears streaming from her eyes
Hugging herself thus,
Her arms crossed in a hug,
Her shoulders shaking in sorrow...
Lost in her thoughts, of a tomorrow.
He'd said he meet her there
When the moon rose on the east
But the moon's at its highest
But there's no sign of him...
Sitting & waiting  beneath a half-lit sky
Shining the moon, upon the dunes of all times
But there was no sight of him
Passing up and down
Her patience wearing thin
So desolate did she look,
With every shadow coming she did look
Preying obsessively she hopped
That the next would be he
Fixating her vision on the horizon far
On everything that moved
Lost so lost in her mind
The illusion of yesterday when they
Danced, beneath the shining moon
She could have, swoon at the sight of him
He's laughing eyes
How she loved his laughing eyes
Immersing herself deeply in her thoughts
Thinking of him, you could see her smile
That secret smile crossing her visage
Lost on the dunes of all times
That kiss in the visions of her mind
Remembering the wildness of it.
Singing her lullaby in her enchantment
Longing yearning for her lost love.
Her voice agonisingly, so pure so sweet
Like a nightingale singing, sadly
In the extremities of my mind; I can still hear
My own tears spilling out
That sad look in her eyes
Breaking her heart
That on the dunes of all times
For all times, hope lost,
Love lost.

                       By Connie James

 

I Think Not

Listen, my world,  stand, up for yourself 
If you like something not
Just come out and say I like this not ...
Just vote with your feet to hell with your lot 
And that includes each and every one of you
You, me, me and you!! 
& every being on this planet, 
Thinking they need more than they need.
Don't be a sheep following sheep amongst sheep, 
For you truly don't need all you thing you need 
Be a fashionista not,  just do your own thing 
For you definitely not need all you think you need 
Vote with your feet, walk away 
A material world its become the wanting the greed 
If I have not such and such Inferior you must think 
For I want what she has or what he has
The material things,
But this includes love, not love we all need 
It has become fashionable in the way we eat 
If it contains wheat we must not eat 
Whether one's gluten deficient or not mind boggles such a lot 
We ourselves know's what we can eat or not eat
Rocket science it's not.
Many of us can eat not certain things 
If one's allergic to nuts...Nuts we must not eat...
Or indeed those, intolerant to gluten or lactose 
Or indeed shellfish...
Well it's up to us to do what's right for us 
But follow not the masses believing what they tell us
Follow our own stars and do what's right for us ... 
I! Am one that hates shopping such a lot 
I need not everything they tell me I need 
Befuddled such a lot, I need not so many things 
I've, a cupboard full of clothes that I use not such a lot 
And shoes galore that I can use not cause of my feet 
I miss them such a lot but my feet allows me not 
To display my sexy shoes, the numbness of my feet I could weep! 
But I need not what they say or I think I need 
I just need a little love from those in my life 
Is that too much to ask! 
Love costs not such a lot
I think not!

                          By Connie James 

To Please Me!

To Please Me!

Two souls residing within me
Why should it be!
Looking in my mirrored glass
I see two of me!
My right side coordinates not my left
Am a little askew,
My face synchronises not my left from my right...
My left's slightly longer about an inch, I'd say
I never knew this, until a physiotherapist
Exclaims your left leg's longer than your right,
What can I say  
I guess that's why I rotate in my walk
My hips in a slight sway
I guess I move in a musical way
As I sway in my every day to day
Within me my mind
Fighting myself
In what I do what I say
Not always feels right in any way
My heart my mind cares not
In what they do what they say
It cares not in any flattering ways
My head my mind says no, no way!
But I love feeling with my heart
But excruciating the pain coming my way
When I feel with my heart's breaking in every way
Kissing the memory of you
In my minds mind, am fighting every day
Correlating, easy is not the two
No way!
These two beings residing within me
At times not at all in harmony
In sync, not you see, the very core of me
Fighting just to be me!
Looking into my mirrored glass
The left not in sync with my right
I see two beings facing me
But in my heart of hearts,
I've only one heart within me!
One, mind.
In disharmony the two sides of me
I've all these feelings within me
What's the use if I can't use these feelings just for me
To please me!
Why am I fighting with my mind the very core of me
In harmony would love to be just me
When my hearts screaming out just let me be!
This other being residing within me.  

                    By Connie James

But Darling...

Be a good girl and go to sleep
But darling I can not sleep If I could make love, I know I could sleep Can you sleep easily Oh, darling!
If you were there why didn't you say hi Darling this morning I tried to make love I know not how it happened I had you on my mind
OMG! Darling, with you on my mind it was easy
I just wanted you just you no good pretending
I know not where the feeling came from
Oh, darling, it's been a while since I've felt such as this
We were making love it was Oh Lord! It was, I had you know what! for crying out loud darling
I whispered oh darling!!
My God darling am a bad person! But it felt so good being bad.
Standing there together we were touching skin to skin
Looking into your eyes I can not disguise This feeling for you, my love
I reached up to touch your mind with mine Scaling high my need for you to kiss you
Your face softly against mine like a dream
But I can feel your heart beating like a drum Percussion within my mind
I kiss your lips your eyes contain can not this feeling It's easy as I kiss that hollow below your chin My mind my senses overflowing like a stream I shudder within my mind, rippling through me As I softly bite your chin...
Escaping from my chest my heart beating like a drum
My mind foggy becomes,
That gossamer impeding my mind my senses
And I!
Without any defences, your hands whispering over me! Whispering whispers my mind cloudy became
Levitating above me, hope I have not of anchoring myself
As you touch me tentatively ahh! an eruption escaping me
Fibrillation taking hold of me as you touch me
Yet again my reason escaping me
As I feel your skin against, mine throbbing
Taking over from me
Am lost, my mind as you kiss every inch of me
Escapism lost in time, am begging you just be mine
Reaching a point of no return arching close so close
But you won't let me be!
Until am crying deliriously euphorically your name
Reaching the heights I thought possible not,
Let me be!
Too much can not, please darling, please
An explosion within me my mind
Anchoring myself to you one more time
Dispersing through the Infinitum of my mind
Crashing crying out lifting that gossamer from my mind
Leaving me sated tears escaping my eyes
I loved abandoned as if a tomorrow there wouldn't be
In the regions of my mind, will it ever be!
That elusive illusion dispersing from me
That, you're only in the regions of my mind 
Disillusion-ally!!
  By Connie James