Missing You...

Missing You...

My minds so full of you darling
Missing you!
I can't even write to you
Insidious thoughts on my mind
My mind can see you not, being away from you
And my heart cries thinking of you
Oh, darling, I do miss you!
I miss you, with my mind my heart,
My body's crying aching, out for you.
In my mind, I see you, loving me
Making love to me!
Closing my eyes, I see you smiling at me
With your blue eyes
Your eyes cannot disguise as I look at you
Mesmerizing me bewitching me
A touch, just a slight touch
Making me wanting you
Bear can not, you stay away from me.
My heart my mind cries what about me!!!
Me that caresses you, worships you kissing you
Wishing you, only you!
My mind irrevocably numb, the nearness of you
Seeing you my eyes lights up
My heart skipping a beat, my eyes so full of you.
Yet you do not my darling care for, me like I do for you.
Sitting here, gazing across the horizon far
Stars scintillating like diamonds in the bluest of seas
Casting on by the sunlight, so bright so pure
The palm trees swaying in the breeze
Against the bluest of skies like your blue eyes!
Ahh, darling, I love you!
Across the far horizon, a cruising ship floats by
Looking at, that monstrosity of the seas
Bringing those from distant lands
As they look and stare with wonder in their eyes
At this tiny island paradise, so close to my heart
But my minds never so far from you
Darling just wishing that you could see me
Sitting here thinking of you
Won't you come to me!
I! Needing you as I do can help not,
Remembering when we loved beneath those palm trees.
Am praying, obsessively
Won't you come my darling, won't you!
There's only an ocean between us
An ocean between you and me control cannot
The whisperings,
Wadding through the cool water's I can see
The clearness, a bottomless, sea
Waters blue, so blue
Can not help comparing them to you
The ebullience lifting me swaying,
Upon a wave or two
Darling so terribly lonely without you!
Looking closely, I see,
In the rock pools the odd crab or two
Mesmerizing watching them
Darling, I miss you!

            By Connie James.

The Lonely Nights...

In the night the lonely nights, the touches
Those touches that you put me through
As I held on to you!
Reciting your verses of love
And by the half-lit moon,
Just enough to see through
Your features in silhouette the rain
Softly falling...
The moon at half-light, looking at you 
The rain dancing before you, kissing you
Immersing in the fragrance wild jasmine
Heightening one's senses
The potency of an earth forgotten
It's scent it's earthly scent, you experience
In the regions of your mind.
Ambling through my city
Just you and I skimming through...
Resist could not the wonder, of you.
kissing you...
Lost in the storm amid the darkness, of the night
Awakening storming in our blood, our nights 
That kiss, taking, our breath away, 
Intoxicated, minds
In our sleepless nights, we held tight
Loving awaited us
Whispering through the night
Rose petals scattered be me, I lay there,
In my naked body
Intoxication filling my senses, wild scented rose,
Frayed senseless my senses...
Lying down, closing my eyes
Gazing out into the night, were, you
That far-away look in your eyes
Bewitching the music at midnight.
Dreamy, dreams are born in the recesses, of my mind.
In the far distances of the horizon far
Strange light, filling your eyes
Kissing you
Making love with my eyes
And in love and laughter, searching ourselves
A shelter for you and I!

                           By Connie James...

Far Far Away...

Far, Far Away

In the darkness, the greyness I so abhor
Staring at me, that ache right inside of me
As if my heart is tightening the very life from me! 
Sitting here, you're on my mind always on my mind
But you my darling are so far away from me
I bear can not looking into your blue eyes as I see
Looking into your face mesmerisingly
In my mind's eyes, I see you in my mind
The illusion is true...
For I know I know in my heart
That you're only on my mind!
But darling wishing it were true
Wishing you were thinking of me
Making love to me slowly unhurriedly
In the darkness of my nights
My lonely nights
Wishing you,
Kiss me, darling kiss me!
There are tears falling from my skies
My skies are grey so grey!
The ambivalence in me wanting me!
Far, far away,
Yet my mind cries out kiss me darling kiss me,
Won't you...Kiss me!
Love to see your blue, blue eyes discerningly
Making love to me!
But my darling why, why do you keep away from me!
Yet I feel you, you're wanting me!
Feeling your eyes caressing me
I can hear your voice that slight twang you see
Ringing in my ears like a song
Listening to your voice sending shivers through me...
That intonation I so love to hear
When you whisper closer to my ear
Step by step, sending me into a frenzy...
In the darkness of my mind euphorically,
When lightness leaves me
In the darkness of my nights
My heart cries out for thee
But darling you're so far away from me
Obsessively, in my obsessive obsession of thee
I can see love in your eyes for me!
But my mind refuses to see
The desolation, the emptiness cruising, through me!
In my ambiguity, I see not the uncertainty in your eyes
That far away look in your eyes killing me.
Taking the very life from me!
The moon full, above me
It's light shining on thee!
Scintillating stars in my dark blue sky's
Reminding me of that night
We lay beneath that velvety dark blue sky
Wishing on that shooting star falling across my sky's
My world my universe, my world you are!
But the ambiguity in me inherently
The ambivalence of my being
The irresponsibility I care not for a world,
That can see not or care or not for you and me!
My eyes so full of love the wanting in me
Across the ocean, I see darkness ominously
The swell, of the sea's swelling angrily
Smashing upon the shore unforgivingly, hungrily.
The far side I can reach not thee
My world my world crumbling eminently on me...
And I praying, praying for you
To come to me!

By Connie James.

Let There Be Lust...

Let There Be Lust...

Ambiguous'ly my senses
Having, no defences when your eyes meet mine
Struggling with my senses
When I know you're there all the time.
In a moment, in time...
I can feel your hands whispering over me...
Sending thrills through me my mind...
Oh darling, bad I have been not in such a long time!
My mind's so full of you missing you, your touches
Screaming out at times you're in the visions of my mind
Wanting you there all the time...
Trilling, me playing havoc perpetually
In the recesses of my mind
Feeling's within encouraging, I should not,
But darling bad I have been not in such a long time
What's wrong with me,
Me that knew not could not,
Envisage the thrill it would be!
Casting your eyes upon me...
Forever asking is it ok...could you do or say!!!
I knew not in any way!!
So with the flow I'd go feeling each sensation,
You put me through the excitement was such but!
But bad I was not, not inherently in me
I must have had this need in me...
Was mortified...Dead feeling within me
Until you, reawaken me from my dead living limbo.
Now, you care not encourage not any input from me
But darling bad I've been not in such a long time.
My minds always with you, severe you were so cold,
When I tried making love to you!
What has changed my darling am always with you!
My mind unfocused waiting for a word from you
It comes not through, the words I want to hear
I miss you!
You see my darling bad I have been not, in such a long time
The hunger within me is such
You've, reawaken the beast in me, wanting you by my side!
But there you sit across from me
In your eyes, I can see the turmoil within you...
Am begging with my eyes won't you? won't you?
Things I say or do always for you...
Cupping your face, in my two hands
Looking into your eyes kissing your lips
Bear, I can not as I look at you...
Seeing desire in your eyes
But darling, bad I have been not, in such a long time.
Why did you reawaken me!
Those feelings running through me.
Obsessively I search you in every face I see
But you an illusion must be,
I can not see an image, I've created within me
Dispersing from me that delusion
The ambiguity
My heart sees you not, looking at me with love
But lust will always be
Let there be lust in your eyes, you'll always be with me
The love within me is enough,
Is enough to burn for all eternity
For you and me.

                               Connie James...

Love Once Lived ..

Hello, My World...
My world's not smiling on me...
A prisoner...It's holding me...In the things that I see,
Exaggerating not my mind, those that were with me
Once upon a time, happiness was the way
Sitting here feeling as miserable as sin
I guess feeling sorry for myself...
Flowing tears within my heart my soul
Like a curse, I must endure.
But it's so hard to think those that were with me
Casting that first stone, breaking me...
In the sight of my eyes, I see a world, not with me
But a, world so far apart from you and me
Those that were in my world,
Now forever gone, without a chance of returning to me!!
Dispersing not the illusion that they were family
Let the delusion disperse not.
My eyes can not see the light at the end of that tunnel
That darkness killing me...
Will there ever be lightness
In between my dark thoughts
My thoughts a dark aberration the light it can not see
Is it worth living in the darkness of my thoughts
In the darkness of my nights when I can sleep not!!
Thinking of those that justifiable or not
Have cast that first stone
Whether I spoke the truth or not.
Those in my world the truth they like not
But cowardly, cowering, without a thought.
An original thought they have not
Like sheep...blindingly following those they should not
Whether am right or not...
A free world its suppose to be, whether you like it or not...
So with me, they must do without,
A thorn on their sides I'll be...
Sad to think of them with love not...
My world they, broken up.
Let the Illusion disperse not
that love once lived...
Such a lot!

                                     Connie James... 

Always On My Mind...

The delusions we go through when we're in love

But when I saw you sitting at the waterfall

It was the month of June

Coming to me, ambiguously...

Looking at you with love in my eyes

You, with stars in your eyes smiling looking at me

I recognised that in my heart, there was love

At the start, we had stars in our eyes.

Behind the said waterfall where love was born

Our lips our mouth searching hungrily,

In the blue moonlight

With the stars above we made love that first time

And I

Reaching into the recesses of my mind

That kiss, always remembering that kiss

Behind the waterfall

Like two souls washing out purging from our minds

Somewhat from our pass

The euphoria within us as we embraced at last

As if the world wouldn't last

In, that moment in time I realised

You're always on my mind

My mind at times forgets not

That once there was love in our hearts

Our minds,

Indeed searching through the recesses of my mind

The elusive illusion,

That love would live forever in our hearts

In the ambiguity, that love would never depart 

The obsessiveness on my part

Holding tight to a love I trusted not.

Through my mind, it came to pass that

When loves departed, without even a goodbye.

My eyes cried, cried for all time

My heart constricting my, throat my breathing

Immeasurable sorrow convulsing tears in my heart

Dispersing not, acknowledging in my mind

Yes love lived within us for a time

A moment in time

Always on one's mind...

                       By Connie James