I Need A Hug *****

I Need A Hug

Oh dear lord I feel, better not
My head like a volcano, waiting to blow
The windows to my soul,
looking back at me, in misery
It seems it burst, a blood vessel
And my eyes have sprung, a leak
Flowing waterfalls, rivulets down, the street
The Rothweiler bark, hurting all over
Feeling sorry for myself, I guess!
I NEED A HUG!!
Now, waterfalls are really, flowing
Rather cleansing, it may be
Such, a mess do I look
There, will be no dancing tonight, for me
Dancing the old year away,
Toasting, the new year in
Where are you!
Wherever, you'll be I bite not
Waterfalls, rushing from me
There'll be no dancing, for me!
Maybe shall I weep, myself into wellness
Put my steel heels, on kicking ass for all, to see
That a weakling, Connie won't be
As I strut my stuff, across the room
Might just work am, sick of feeling, unwell
But my head, won't let me swimming against, the tide
I fear, each time I cough my head throbs
my chest pulling apart...
What started, with a Rothweiler, bark now,
Mewling like a kitten, avoiding, coughing...
What a mess to be in, not at all like me!
Letting the side down, such as this, giving in!!
NO!!
Giving in I shall not, I shall see the new, year in
With a glass of champers, in my hand
Singing Auld Lang Syne,
Even with my croaky throat, I shall sing
Wishing, my nearest and dearest, a very
Happy New Year...
I shall put my glad, rags on even if dancing, I won't be
I shall put my tiara, on and dance, the new year in
There's me hopping!!

Ready For Christmas

Ready For Christmas

I've spent the day getting the house ready for Christmas
I've cleaned dusted vacuumed polished every orifice
Ready to hang the decorations making more Christamssy
I've set the tree, hang on the lights and pretty baubles

I've, hang pretty natural natures garlands on the walls
The old boy extols go not over the top, really there's no need
He's such a Neanderthal spoiling the enjoyment
Go live in a cave if you want not Christmas

I just ignored him & went on my own sweet way
So I dressed all the decks ready for Christmas
Have to make a cake or two and some mince pies
He's really not that much of a Neanderthal

He likes his cakes and a mince pie or two
And if I don't watch he'll eat the blooming lot
There will be mulled wine he likes the way I do
With orange rind cinnamon sticks & star anise 

Then I'll add a touch of Port and Rum too
Then a touch of Drambuie, that's nice says he
And if he doesn't watch it'll blow his socks off too
Always have the music on whilst working

Vivaldi's playing the four seasons on and on
And Beethoven 5Th symphony wow!
Some powerful sound lifting me high putting me down
By the time Christmases is upon us I'll be cockeyed

In need, I know not what...
A rest I guess would be good
So welcome my friends
Yah life's good...

               By Connie James

Winds Of Life *****

Winds Of Life

Good Morning My World !!
Minds In Turmoil After Last Night Talk
About Love And Such Like
My Mind Can Grapple Not With The Words And Such
Especially, After The Words That I Write Ambiguously
The Ambiguity Of Those Words That I Write Fictionally
It's Much Easier To Write Words Fictionally
My Imagination Running Wild.
With Thoughts On My Minds Unsatisfied.
But Saying Such Words That I Know You Want To Hear
The Reality Of Extolling Such Words Personally... Not So Easy.
I Have, Had Not Lacking In Experience.
I Know You Believe Not It's Not Possibly I Hear You Say
That I've Only Had One Love In My Life's Entirety
Words Come not Easy, Even When I Want To Say
Kiss Me My Love Touch Me Touch Me!
Let Your Hands Whisper, Over Me Slowly Softly
Making Me Feel Am Flying High Like A Kite In The Sky
Soaring Way Above The Clouds Beyond, My Universe
My Blue Firmament, Like Your Eyes Blue So Blue
I Want To Feel Your Arms About Me Hold Me Tight Caress Me
And I'd Do The Same For Thee..I'd Love To Kiss Your Eyes Your Lips
And Extol What's In The Regions Of My Mind In The Extremities Of Me
Within, The Depths The Very Core Of Me, My Torment
It Takes Every Ounce Of Me!! To Hold You Tight
I Need Your, Words To Inflame My mind
My Mind That Otherwise Will Go And Die Quietly
This Morn Make love I Tried But The Words Were Missing
Matters Not How Hard I Tried.
Your Words Weren't Coming.
I Was Crying Out For You, Love Me Darling Won't You
Ohh...Darling Won't You!
The Frustration Was Such That I Could Reach Not The Height's
As I Cried Out You Name Yet Again, In My Minds Mind.
My Minds In A Fog In The Extremity's, Waiting.
My Minds Crying Out Deflated.
That Balm That Quietens Down My Mind
Even When I Reach Not The Height's
Flying High Like That Condor Gliding
Effortlessly On The Thermal
Winds Of Life!! 

                

Do you prey! *****

Do you prey!

I was asked the other, day
No!!
Not anymore, I must say
An unbeliever I've, become
An agnostic, I'll be
Since, a mere teenager, I was
I've become, un-enamoured with, religion
A load of hypocrites, they'll be
Runs, in my family, hypocrisy
So, abhorred by me!
And so, a rebel I've become, I listen not to anyone,
I do my own thing...
But I believe there, must be an entity
Someone higher,
Much higher, than you and me
A supreme, being maybe...
But I believe, not in those priests, those purists,
Sure, they'll never be
The evilness in some, of them
Scary!!
Then I was, asked
What would, you like most in the world?
Well, that's not too hard says I
I'd wish peace, amongst the peoples, of our world
To live in love and harmony, stop killing one, another
Inherently, greedy amongst them will be...
But I do ache, inside of me!
Infernally!!
Tears flowing, silently
My throat, constricting my breath
Breaking, into a cry my heart, fragmenting
Into a thousand little pieces!!...
In between tears, I tell he
What, I'd like most, in the world
Would be, to have my family, back
As we used to be!
And looking into his eyes, telling him!! That I!
Assiduously, I try not to...
Let it disperse, from me trying, trying!
Bursting, from me, my heartbreaking
Into thousands, of fragmenting pieces
My worlds, breaking around, me
I care not, I think not, I can not bear,
They've gone, from me
The time of day, cannot pass, 
In a hurry always, by the way
Even, though saying how great, I was
Fleetingly passing, the time of day with, a hi!!
Running...
Into, my mind, his features popped, disturbingly 
Know, not what scares he!
Feeling, uneasy...
Within me, my tears falling, achingly
Sorry for myself, I guess I'll be
What annoys me most, my feelings
How I miss papa on this epochal, time of year
The Stellar in my skies, he was
For us!
He had scintillating, diamonds in his, eyes
His arms huge, bear-like, hugging us
That smile the light, of love in his eyes,
Our hero he was...
Nothing's worth, this misery I feel within, me
I'd love to be free...
Free, from those bastards, of our world
To be just me!!

                 

Wings Of A Dove

The Youthfulness I feel within my heart
Believe cannot floating high
Beyond my universe, on a cloud was, I
& when the music takes hold
the euphoria within me,
Being carried on the wings of love
Spinning around the room just he and I
Wondrous sounds, filling my mind
As the music fills in, lifting me high
Unexplainable feeling...
As if bursting my heart lighte of, mind
As if in Nirvana was I
Swaying on the wings of a dove
Just he and I!

To Hell & Back *****

To Hell And Back

Waking up stretching, high
Arching my back, touching the sky
His hands I feel, over me...
Feline slender cat...
On the catwalk, you should have been
Miaw as I nuzzled up to him,
Taking a nip from his lips
Running my nails, down his spine
His hands, caressing me,
You could have, had anybody!
His hands softly whispering, over me
Know not what he sees, about me
This look, confounding me...
Flummoxed, am I from my early, teens
At me, he looked thus...
I kissed his eyes,
In a vice holding, me, can't breathe
From, my head to my toes, kissing me
At all times, whispering...
What did I, do to deserve you!
Meaningful, or not I cared, not...
A tear spills, from my eyes, as he kisses me
Setting my senses, way up high
Speaking to me his, hands
Overwhelming, me my mind, I know not
If its love or lust, for I was awakened, within
His, hands whispering,
But my, mind's been on him...
In the forefront, of my mind's desire...
Moving in time, my body
But reach, I cannot the heights,
As if punishing me, on my mind, was he
Reaching to touch, his mind with, mine
Abandonment, in me, lost in time
Looking, into his eyes taking, hold of me!
At, that moment in time, no returning for, me
Euphorically, I called out his, name
Arching, my back the feline, cat within me
Digging my nails, into, he...
His eyes the colour, of a stormy night,
Looking, through me
I soared, high like that, albatross
To, hell and back taking, me!!

                   

The Core Of Me *****

In, the very core of me!
I see feel his eyes burrowing into me

Lying here in my naked body 

waves lapping over me 

like a lover's arms surrounding embracing me

& with the flow goes I intrinsically 

Calling on to me I hear in my memory, of times past 

When all the time, in the world he had for me

The swell hitting me hard choking me 

In my mind's mind, I cry for, he to come to me! 

As in times past irrevocably...

But his eyes blue see cannot me! 

As a tear sadly escapes me 

But the sea calling, calling to me come & play with me

another wave washes over me. 

Carrying me too far distant lands, in between rock pools 

Fathomless sea & here goes I in my naked body 

being caressed by this gossamer wrapping around me 

before carrying into the depths of me!

& I cry out the ecstasy of the moment, loving me.

This wondrous sea all around me 

Like a lover's constantly whispering 

Whispering to me! 

But whisperings I hear not my minds, on He

Return I must go to where I lied 

In my little corner of paradise where I last saw He 

Lying on my rock like a mermaid his eyes 

burrowing into me as I lay in my, naked body

In my dreams he's loving me, all of me! 

His eyes blue electrifying me, as I reach out kissing He 

Believe I could not that he was standing before me   

His eyes melting me 

his hair the colour of the burning sun, 

like an aura surrounding He. 

I reached to touch his visage imploringly 

stay, stay here beside me 

kissing his heart knowingly!

Riding, upon a wave my eyes so full of He.

I was being carried into another dimension, 

before, I hadn't been

grasping desperately at nothingness.

As I awake from my revery, minds are funny things! 

Standing before me calling me 

come on sleepy head lets go says he 

Reaching down to me!        

                  By Connie James

Bright Like A Diamond 0000

Bright like a diamond !!

The sun's shining through my window
Its a calling to me
So bright as a diamond, I can hardly see
So hard lifting this gossamer from my eyes
Impeding my vision, at times not so easy
That golden sphere bright as a diamond in my skies
Now deeming hiding from me
In a cat & mouse game
Now you see me then you don't
Hiding, behind that cloud
Obliterating the sight of my eyes
It's rays calling to me...
But my head won't let me as if drunk
I'd be the room spinning on me,
its rays are, looking in on me
Winking calling to me
But my legs won't hold me such a bane to me
Trying moving my room spins on me
But get up I must, crawl if I must be
The effort is such leaving me weak
Sitting on my bed suns talking to me
Get up you must be!
Hello Mr sunshine won't you help me
From the way am feeling today
Emptiness within me
So nice you came peeping through my window
Greeting me
But my ass I cannot move from my bed you see!
Is this what's to come to me
This emptiness within me
Wait!
Wait for me Mr sunshine for am trying don't you see
Lifting my head from my pillow without draining me
As if being all at sea
Bobbing on the waves nauseously
Lying down the best option for me till this
feeling leaves me...
It's a beautiful day as I gaze out of my window
Some great cumulous clouds
Rippling like seahorses on the sea
The sun's not waiting for me
Such an effort holding this pen
This weakness I feel it's such a bane don't you see
But of course, you do not see
But get up I must make an effort
Mr sunshine still peeping at me
calling, a calling me
Get your butt from that bed come and dance with me
Thanks, Mr sunshine I'll try truly I will
If this gossamer leaves my mind
Impeding not the vision from my eyes
Worshipping your, scintillating rays
Rising my hands to the skies
Worshipping that golden sphere wearing
It's rays like a crown
Mesmerising me!!

           By Connie James










    

My Little Paradise 0000

My Little Paradise

It's truly a little paradise
Unspoiled by humanity...
Protected by the National Trust
The Jurrasic coast of Dorset
Where one comes across fossils galore
Have been trekking these hills cliffs nearly all my life
Far from the maddening crowds Thomas Hardy county
The Purbecks Of Dorset
Peace abounds, not many ventures that far
Not using our cars but our feet as we walk into the distance
But a few of us still trek far and wide climbing rock faces
Up and down mountains seems to me
Standing on top of our world far and wide you see...
As you struggled to climb the most awesome scenery before me
Catching up with my breath and me
From my mouth threatening to jump my heart
Inhaling deeply filling my lungs the purest of air
Letting it disperse slowly, in a whisper
Getting on our way vast golden grasses as high as you are
Descending to sea level almost as if a savannah you were
Swimming through long marsh grasses chest high
As if I were Eve wondering around paradise
You're faced, with this beautiful cove
Blue waters blue skies, bringing me to mind his eyes
Mocking me laughingly O'dear Lord I kissed his eyes
And his hair the colour of the burning sun
Playing havoc with my mind as if it wasn't enough
The light dancing in his eyes
Emotional was I!
And as I lay there in my naked body by the shoreline
The wash, washing over me I was in paradise...
With the birds swaying in the thermal winds I spied
He walking over me with that look
That told me that He was not, immune to me
Raising my hands to he smilingly
What a wonderful creature you are in my minds eyes
Picking me, throwing me on to the coming waves
Coughing and spluttering as if in a game thought he
I was a drowned rat & he laughing hilariously
Saying come on let's go...
I never get tired or bored of my Purbecks of Dorset
Always something new to see and discover
With always my camera attached to my hips
Just me my camera the gulls and the birds of prey
And...Yah!! Musn't forget the old boy!!

   

A Different Me 0000

A Different Me

O' Poetry, poetry set me free
For I owe you a different me
I owe you my mind my heart my very soul
And you owe me the kindness that you stole
You owe me my loneliness my sleepless nights
And you owe me my peace of mind
Most of the time in turmoil, my mind and me
In my sleepless nights, I need peace the silence
My sleepless nights for your not there
But sitting beneath the bridge or wondering somewhere
The night streets are calling to you as you go roaming through
I hear you sneaking in the early morn,
At the clock, I glance surreptitiously
As you came home drunkenly reciting your words excitedly
Reciting your phrases verses of poetry...
Whilst I've been waiting for you, longing for the touch
But your perpetual drunkeness moodiness sullenly!
I like you not this way...
By the riverside I cried, I cried with loneliness
Within me the sorrow crucifying me.
The boat arriving at the bay I asked, he has he seen you
Don't you know all night you, were away
When I asked you had no answer, for me
but said ces't la vie...
But quoting instead a verse of poetry...
In the darkness of my nights, I walk searching you...
But with a new dawn approaching
A better feeling there won't be as the rising of the sun
Over that mountain high above the hill the waterfall
Scintillating little diamonds a wondrous, sight before my eyes
Autumnal colours, trees are laden with dew
The frosted grasses in the morning sun glistening, in dew
As I kissed you, tears dancing behind my eyes
Recollecting memories of past times that kiss!
You were so cold when I kissed you
Wet with the morning dew
That tinge of blue your lips, hands like ice
I ran my hands over you, just to warm you
But your drunkenness in perpetual motion, your words
Such as Poetry!
O' Poetry I owe you my world my reason for living
My dying my freedom my life
My tears falling silently my secrets in the depths of my mind
The stranger I feel is residing within me
Am feeling so lonely can you not see!
O' Poetry I owe you the feeling of I know not what!
Of being born!
And my love of finding him, to lose yet again
O' Poetry!!
Poetry I owe you a different me!!

Like an Eagle

 Like an Eagle

The sun’s shining the sky’s blue 

And the birds are singing

As I look out of my window…

Sleep could not my minds awondering

Like a trapped animal 

Climbing up the walls, struggling to sleep

Wanting him! 

Within these four walls, trying to contain me

For all I want is to be free, 

Free to love him

Within these walls I see my worlds passing me

Trapped within me my mind

I cannot be free, 

From these chains you’ve attached to me

Soar I can not within me my mind

Crying out, struggling to live a life 

That should be free

From these chains attached to me

You cannot contain my mind & me!!

From soaring like that Eagle I see in the sky

Fluctuating above me, reaching I try

Reaching high grabbing his wings

And fly beyond the clouds

Beyond my universe 

He and I swaying dancing in the breeze

On the thermal winds climbing higher  

Wishing I was that Eagle

Take, to my wings & fly 

Wherever I pleased. 

  
By Connie james 

Fire's Burning Still

Darling!!
The fire's burning still in my blood
As you look at me,
that look in your eyes
Through me burning incandescently!
What a marvellous creature says you
As I get up and brush my hair
Fires still burning within you
Change you have not...
And I laugh gazing at him.
The decaying of me he does not see
Your still that girl I first saw in that far away land
Your shy smile, just as your smiling now
Just like a flower an exotic flower waiting to be picked
A bird of paradise in the sunshine...
I fell for you then and there
Now, looking at you you've lost not that elegance
I saw in you, it's still there as you brush your hair
His eyes following me every which way I moved
That proud look in your eyes!
The fires still burning in his minds, eyes
as he pulls me on to him...
I see not, this mesmerisation he has of me
Has been there from the start...
Yet I thought you mad, this obsession this hold on me.
But love resided, in my heart fluttering butterflies
We had eyes for no other
Coming back time after time
To my island in the sun
Making love with your eyes
Your camera lens spoke volumes in my face...
Wrapping me on that staircase
Every angle of me you took whispering
Devine!
And you haven't lost that look in your eyes
Fires burning all the while
As you made love with your eyes
I feel your eyes burrowing into me as I move
from A to B
Yet at times I've doubted in my mind
This love has lasted such a long time.
For I had eyes not, for any other
Spoiling my chances of some other love
But the fires were burning wild
There was no chance for any other love
Yet they won't let me be, chasing me
Silly fools go away let pass...
For, I have eyes for no other, but he!
Even today they do stare, even at my sell-by date
It's not as if I were a beauty...
& I think bloody fools, making my life miserable
But there are times in my minds, mind
I seem to think I need much more than I need
Having, experienced no other, was I missing something!
Would love alone suffice, to make me see
That I need no other but he!
A bed of roses has been not at, all times
For I have a mind of my own
Clashing at times breathing fire like a dragon...
The devilishness in me!
Calming down he seemed to think...
That love has won somehow...
Yet I see others looking through me
Am I missing, something, unfaithful I've never been
Except at times in my mind, wanting more than I need
For the fires are burning inexorably...
Burning in his eyes going through that elusive look
Simmering ember, O' my!!
Your the Stellar in my eyes as he reaches me
As we make love, intrinsically
The ecstasy running through my body my mind
As in a vice, he takes me...
At that moment in time escape, I want not
Consuming the fires my mind
As he whispers yet again you've changed not a bit
But the decaying of me he seems not to see
A tear flowing silently from my eyes
With such intensity loving me
Even my tears extinguish cannot the fire,s between us
As he eloquently brushes from my eyes
I cry out in the delirium of love
Embers burning his eyes
The fires still burning!
In our eyes!

By Connie James

Alone!!

As I wake up my worlds pressing down on me
There's a weight upon my heart
A gossamer over my eyes wake up I want not
There is sorrow in my heart
Why lonely must I always be
If those in my world understands not me
What I am or what I'll be!!
Turmoil residing within me...
My mind ambiguously chastising me, not thinking
Spontaneity rules my world my life
Always not thinking
But the ambivalence in me living from day to day
One day at the time my way!
Care not always what I do or say
My nature is to love those in my world...
& if at times my language fall's by the way
In something I do or say
To speak my mind has always been my way!
But if those in my world care not to hear what I say
Best stay away from a mind that thinks not always
Reasoning not what I am what I'll be who's to say
At war with my mind all the way
If careful I must be my mind filters not
In anyway
My thoughts convoluted not in any way
Flowing through without thinking good or bad...
Why must I be this being weighing not what I thought
Is this the essence of me!
This being that knows not, copes not with day to day living
The turbulence within my thoughts, letting not
Escaping from the recesses of my mind
That does not sing and dance at all times
But sinking into the mire of my thoughts
When there's doubt within my mind
I'd much rather sing and dance at every change
Except darkness robbing the light, my eyes
Dispersing not that gossamer impeding the light
In darkness alone my mind
Alone!!   

 

God turned the lights off

O' Lord!
God turned the lights off
It's dark as sin, my way
Is it am a terrible sinner
From my day to day living
To relieve darkness
From my darkest days naughty I can be
When my blues won't disperse away
Settling upon my mind a cloud
A dark gossamer I must lift
A boredom, in a mind that wants to play
Some word game to keep my blues away
It's gone as dark as sin
Haven't seen the sun in days
A distraction I must find otherwise my mind
Will play havoc all day
And it won't be a pretty day
I need my days to be bright settling my mind
Casting light, upon my eyes
Lighting my path
That otherwise will think its times of winter
When darkness permeates
Refusing to let light in my mind
Struggling to see the lightness
Before darkness sets in
Light cannot see, my soul tumbles down
Times a changing beautifully awesome
Autumnal, colours lifting from my mind
That gossamer impeding me from seeing
Cascading from their canopy's
A kaleidoscope a vision of colours
Reds golds bronze's rusts beneath my feet 
A carpet enriching my peripheral vision my eyes 
Making me feel all warm inside
The awesomeness of the warm autumnal colours
In transaction, a time for hibernation
Before, winter times rushes in
Some sharp bright cold days
Keeping my blues away...   
 
                     By Connie James

WE Will Remember Them

Today is Armistice Day...
It's a day to remember those that lost the battle for living
It's a day to remember our son's brothers uncles fathers husbands lovers
At the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month
War ceased an end to a ghastly war, where so many lost their lives
So, many beautiful young lives paying the final sacrifice
Spilling their blood for you for me!
So many souls lost from so many nations
Fighting for freedom to be free from tyranny
From ruthless madmen with the desire to rule the world...
Power over all!!
Uncontrollable buffoons with a taste for blood...
Much suffering from millions of humanity's     
Today's Armistice day
And on the eleventh-hour two minutes, silence shall reign over all
Remembering members of so many families that never came home!
Bugles shall resound emotionally to the going down of the sun
To a new dawn a new beginning,
Remembering those that never had a chance to grow old
To have loved and to laugh to sing and dance at every chance
Cut short their lives...It's a very emotional day for many...   
All men from all nations...
So evocative that bugle, Not a sound from anywhere!
                             Silence Reigns
  
                  ""WE WILL REMEMBER THEM""

In The warmth Of The Night

In the warmth of the night
I often reach out to you, to hold me
Hate being far so far away from you
Wishing you'd be mine
Your words fleetingly from your lips
Playing havoc with my mind
Your eyes your lips your face cannot disguise
I'll know it's you in shadow or silhouette
By the way you hold your head
The stance in your standing
Your body language so familiar to me!
In the red room in the station near by
The fog eminating the density
I can see not your eyes...
The scents intoxicating
Tantalising my taste buds
The aroma those coffee beans
Shadows getting through you walking
Embracing kissing loving the whole of you
In between the distances the bridge you stand by
Enfolded by the nigh mists
Sending shivers through my spine
See cannot the light as I look into your eyes 
Those pages were never writen, but I remember so well
Thousand & thousands of time in my mind
Lingering in the silence still the utterings
Phrases of yesterday silently writen on my mind
In the midst perpetually searching you
In the shadows in silhouette standing before me
Through & through so dapper so handsome
My words belong not to me!
They were writen for you
Writen when I could not erase my memory of you
They were born and transformed every which way
I've arranged them in sequence in my mind
The memory of your lips
The scent of you as you kissed me
The scent of sandlewood
Intoxicating the scent of you
Resounding dreams in the darkness of the night
Echoing in my mind the wonder of you
In my dreams am missing you
Missing your love, my boding aching for you
Missing your arms around me kissing me
Never letting go taking shelter in your arms
So many things to tell you so many things to say
It's all writen in verses
The rest you'll find a way!!

Loves a Funny Thing

So true!
But there are times loves not enough
It won't do!
But lessons we must learn
Loving those that love's us not
Not easy no way
When one loves one loves with all one's heart
To the very core of our being
So hard when we love and reciprocated is not
Be it lovers love or indeed a siblings love
Loving with the same intensity that hurts
They are not anyway
And you heart shredded in tatters bleeding
Screaming you utter, how dare they!
Making me bleed this way
Your fragmenting as they dispose of your love.
Luckily I've had to fight not for love in any way!
But I was so green in my day...
Needed only one love, not greedy anyway
Now a sibling's I must say inexcusable! in any way
But love's a funny thing
When we think we need more than we need
Playing tricks your mind
Wishing we experienced different loves
In one's life different things
Whether you've missed something, you'll never know
With ones mind fighting abhorrently
Think you need much more than you need
Residing in ones mind obsessively
This obsessive obsession when love's gone wrong
Your mind's not your own as you sit bleeding
Struggling with ones heart one's mind
Hard to just let it be! Let it be...
But you must follow through
when an obsession takes hold of you
Into the recesses of your mind
The very extremities of you
Ones mind care's not being logical or not
Reasoning not...
Smiling for all your worth as you look
into his eyes glistening with love...
Loves a funny thing
Making you cry laugh sing and dance at every chance
But when it's killing you, love hurts
Flowing silently waterfalls
As if the whole worlds deserting you
A love dying on you, extreme sorrow going through
Caring not if they hurt you
Even when you've loved, with every ounce you possess
I guess your not worthy of their love
Must be true!! 

Oh! Ecstacy!!

Oh Ecstasy

Darling!
I didn't wash my mind last night
I couldn't darling, truly couldn't
Wash you away from my memory
Was so turned on
Oh, dear lord what a mess to be
I cannot do without he
But lord I just can't get him out of my mind
He's within me
Beneath my skin, he'll always be
He makes me laugh, feel good
he makes me cry & whoop in ecstasy
& he makes me fly on the wings of a phoenix
Oh, ecstasy!!
I can feel his eyes within me
His breath on my skin
And I can feel his hands whispering over me
Evoking like a dream through me
When his boat comes in...
Am all of a flutter as I set my eyes upon he
He's looking at me nonchalantly
That glint in his eyes is enough to get my blood boiling
How could I have washed my mind of, he
I would have lost all of he!!
Embedded within me he'll always be
As he tells me, go sleep, can't you see
Am so turned on I can't sleep without you
An impossibility...
Playing me like a harp the ecstasy ringing through me
How could I wash my mind of thee!!
Echoing in my mind words of yesterday
Making me high as a kite like dopamine in my mind
Bewitching me with your eyes
Like my oceans blue & the skies above me
Like gossamer curtains the white clouds
And the gulls above, screeching
How can I wash my mind of thee, impossible...
Like a zombie without sleep
Like a madness running through me
I'll be blown if I can sleep
Or wash my mind off he...
 

Sparks Flying...

The ecstasy euphorically
Revibrating through my brain my body
every moment am with you
Sparks igniting between you and me...
There's this something about you
I know not what's to be!!
Gazing from across the room
you're so intent on she
As she listens to your every word like, a gospel
If it were a profanity!
The excitement in her eyes it's there to see
And the way you laugh with her
Casting glances at me!
In your eye's I see just a game you're playing
Intolerable to me!!
Making me feel less than real!
But I too can play games you see!
As up and down I look at he
A flush comes to my face as I imagine he,
kissing me...
He's hot, and his voice embers burning
Incandescently...
As I imagine he pretending that, he'll be thee!!
Caressing his face glancing your way
As I tweak his nose
Caring whether or not you see me!
Why do you do this to me?
Feeling a warmth erupting through me
Looking at you, there's always this thing about you
I understand not this primitiveness in me!
As I, look into your eyes
sparks are flying between you and I
Dumfounded I'll be if I understand me!!
This ache following me it hurts
slowly killing me
And from the very depths of me
tears flowing silently
A torrent waterfalls exuding from within me
Wonder why would it be
Darling kiss me!
Like yesterday when in my portals you came to be
Like a tornado devouring me
Butterflies within me as I raised my eyes to thee
Dear lord!! Your gaze penetrating me
I knew not you see as you kissed me
Euphorically this hunger from within me
Looking into your eyes the colour of my skies
I see the wonder of thee has never left me
But why do I feel I need more than I need
As I look at, he making eyes at she
Breaking my heart irrevocably
And yet I know you are the one for me
Feeling sparks leaving your eyes penetrating me
There is that something about thee
Bewitching confounding me
Gazing across the water from me
my soul mate would he be!
I love playing games with he
In my mind intrinsically
A little badness there'll be in me
As I play games with he
Feeling that am living
Making me feel real!!

       By Connie James

  

Hunger In Her Eyes

Hunger in her eyes

The moon in her full bloom
In the darkness of my skies
Leaving me full of wonder
The infinity before my eyes
My universe!
Comprehend cannot, the mysteriousness
Reason cannot my mind 
The moon in her fullness playing havoc with my mind
My senses so attuned
To the sounds shadows of the night
Like a she-devil prowling the streets
With hunger in her eyes
Looking for the one, the only one
She'll never compromise
Coming upon that station with fear in her heart
Whilst the whole world's sleeping
Spying for her love coming upon in
The only compartment sitting, so alone
Head in hands hanging low, as if his world's falling apart
Quietly she moves touching him once
Her hands shading his eyes, feeling her hands
There was fever exuding from her eyes
In her blood embers burning,
Fevers in the air.
Gazing into her eyes taking her hands in his
He could see there were tears in her's...
Realising not that love resided in her heart
Roots embedded deeply for all times
& a hunger within the sighs
Mortified was she
That the years in between she lost her mind
I've hollered to the winds I've shouted in the rain
& I've shouted to the mountains highs
To bring me peace, not pain!!
In the darkness of our nights the whispers between us
& at the dawning of the sun silence, echoing through my mind
In the silence of the night, I've cried out my love.
I cried to the winds the mountains highs,
In the plains the savanna's wild
With whispering hands, our woe's exclamations the sighs
Right through the night phrases uttered between us
But as the midnight bell tolls help cannot...
Help can, not but recall that "night our love"
In the midnight station with the moon at full light
Playing tricks on my mind
& like a banshee prowling the midnight streets
With hunger in her eyes...

                  By Connie James

When We Made Poetry

Believe I could not you were there
Just holding my stare
Was mesmerised by you!
Every few steps kept glancing at you
You said not a word just starring my way
So sure in my minds, mind it was you.Yet
It seemed to me you were avoiding me
Waiting for me to go on by
This feeling staying with me for sometime
Disturbing my mind
An impossibility getting you out of my mind
Believe I could not without uttering a word
Passing me by
Not a hello how do you do!!
So hard to entertain difficult to frame
Word fleeting through my mind
Phrases from a stranger, much easier to obtain
I saw you coming through the alley
Rustling the Autumnal fallen leaves
You looked frozen in the misty fog
Exiting through those magnificent doors
Looking at me shivering with cold
Winters night darkness seeping through
Like a hazy mist hovering upon you
At the downing of the sun its shadows casting over you
You looked to me as I haven't seen you before
So dapper so debonair!
& I looking for a reason getting closer to you
Just an excuse to touch look at you
In the silence of the night, the breeze whispering away
I held you close to my heart
Cupping your face in my hands
Standing close as we began to dance, slowly as one
These intricate steps the new craze
I held you close as we shimmered across
As the music takes hold living in the moment
So attuned the music our minds
Just you & me dancing
No time to whisper & say
After such a long time we're drifting away 
Memories within me I extolled no way
Or will ever say, please stay!
Something else on my mind before you go away
Just sit beside me whilst inhaling the scent of you
Touch you, for when you're away from me
I shall exist not completely nor happily without you
In the darkness of my nights, I'd often recall
That night of nights when we had it all
That night when we made poetry!!

                By Connie James

Just For A Moment... Ciao

Ciao Caro!!
What a sight for sore eyes
Lazily lying in the sun, can you feel the love
An aphrodisiac the sun warming the cockles of your heart
Lying dreaming of love!!
Of course isn't love, inherently within you!
But Cassius Caro!!
Looking at you my somersaulting heart
Opiums I need not!
Just you would suffice to make my heart sing
As you lying indolently by the pool...
Those Nymphes attending you
Bringing a smile to mine eyes the adoration in their eyes
Oh, Cassius, I do love you not just with mine eyes
My body craves you, embers burning my mind
It takes every ounce of me stopping me!!
Burning my blood at the sight of you, just one look
Darling, let's play that game that you and I know so well
Here, in my basket, I have the fruits of the gods
Just gathered by me Figs succulently
& the juiciest's of grapes you've ever tasted
Gathered in the warming sun oozing sweetness
Salivate I am, cannot wait to feed you one at the time!
& a flask of the nectar from the gods
To quench your thirst!
That's all I need to love you...
No opiates will do just me my words & you
Ahh!! my eyes my hands my lips will suffice!
I can see the naughtiness exuding from your eyes
Wickedly!! Caro can you feel my breath
As I hover over you whispering kissing you!
& from my, lips a grape, escaping...
Sensually falling into your mouth, expertly...
Caro can you taste the juiciest of flavours
Rippen by the burning sun embers high
Caro!  Can you feel the need in me!
Open up your lips & taste the moreish-ness of these figs
Oozing sweetness, the fruits of the gods
I can see you love that, as a grape from my lips
followed by a kiss
Your the only opium I need making love blows my mind
Caro!  Feeling exaltation within me
Looking at you indolently taking all am dishing you
Carissimo try a sip of this nectar from the gods
Would this do you!
So divine the aroma the scent intoxicating
& from my lips following another grape as juicy as you
Taking hold of me!! But I've not finished Carissimo!
Administering to you spoiling you
But, me you heard not...
Burning embers my blood I see in yours too...
I feel your fibrillating heart beating under, mine
Your all the dopamine I need soaring high!
In my blood burning me my mind
Soaring like that Phoenix riding the thermal winds
In the ecstasy of the momentum
As I look into your eyes and take all you had to give
Shuddering in the delirium of love
Just for a moment...

                  By Connie James

Oblivious To Me

Where are you!
Where did you get to?
I've this ache within me, sleep cannot
But why should you care if sleep I cannot
My heart's fragmenting...
Darling why the silence, punished am I being?
This silence is killing me!
You truly do not see me standing before thee
Looking into your eyes
I see nought but sternness, looking back at me
Not, ever a word coming my way ...
For you have this obsession with you
On your, mind theirs nought but she
I hope that she loves you better than me!
Me, that loves you adores you
Worships the ground you stand on
But darling you see not me at all
Matters not how hard I try
Your oblivious to me,
You see how this is killing me!
But darling I hope she loves you better than me
As I see you worshipping, she
In my heart am fragmenting
Broken my mind into thousand little pieces
As if a poisonous dart wounding my heart
Killing me!
& my hearts crying outreaching to you kiss me
But you stare right through me
But darling I hope she loves you better than me
What has changed darling
Do I ever enter your mind in the scheme of things?
Do you ever think of me
But this obsessive obsession with she
But darling all I can say is
I just hope that she loves you better than me!!

                     By Connie James

On The Wings Of a Phoenix

On The Wings Of a Phoenix

Good Lord!!
It's blowing a real gale here...
The trees are swaying in the wind,
My Acer's almost touching the ground...
& the Bamboo canes dancing in the breeze!!
You can hear the wind 's howling down my chimney...
Roaring like an angry animal roaring infernally...
It's gone dark as sin...
Lashings of rain & the sun's refusing to give in...
A lovely rainbow upon my skies
Whilst the sun shines & the rain does not give in...
It's a weird kind of day darkness, filling in...
Between light & darkness,
Into despair, I must not give in...
My light I must switch on
Bringing brightness to, my eyes my mind...
Maybe I'll just join that Phoenix dancing in the wind
& my trees whispering in the breeze...
Whilst my mind's elsewhere...
Thinking of He!!
& Tchaikovsky playing being carried in the wind...
Into the hills the mountains the valleys
The Savannah's into the horizon's far...
Lifting our spirits high
Being carried on the wings of a Phoenix...
Oh, My!!

           

Closer To You

If I said you had a beautiful mind
Would you hold it against me
Would you let me hold you
Close to my heart
As we danced & swayed to
The music of the night
I can feel your body close to mine
As we danced through the night
I can feel your breath upon my hair
That slight breeze as if am
Undulating on cloud nine.
All my yesterdays
Dispersing in the breeze
In a dreamland swaying undulating in the wind
Kissing your eyes
Reaching high touching your face with mine
Softly your eyes watching me at all times
Making me feel in Nirvana I'll be
When your mind touches mine
Memories, yesterdays memories!
Making me smile laugh-cry at the same time
This little ache carrying within me
Not so easy to always smile
From my eyes rolling my tears
Like cascading stones
Falling from my mountain high.
So many, many yesterdays
Always will remember
as you kissed my cares away
& I hungrily kissed your lips your mouth
In my arms holding, you close
Getting closer to you
Incircling me so strong your arms
As if in a vice...
Making me blush as you look at me thus
Can you not see what's on my mind
Dancing to the music of the night
This feeling I cannot abide
This ache tearing me apart
As if you were departing from me
Setting heavily on my heart
Opening the floodgates
No choice for me as they flow irrevocably
But the music of the night keeping me
From this elusive illusion
The ecstasy having you close to me
Lost in my mind's mind euphorically
Releasing endorphins within my mind
As I touched your mind one more time
Overflowing like a turbulent ocean
Swaying indolently upon my shores
Erotic dreams came to mind
As you & I lay side by side
Beneath a cloudless sky glistening little stars
Like fairy lights
We counted countless stars
Scintillating in my velvety darkest skies
Dancing to the music on my mind
Imploding high within...
Your pheromones & mine

By Connie James

The Ignorance

The ignorance the abomination
The superiority such peoples
Because their skin happened to be white.
Putting a child under such insurmountable pressure
Because her skin happened to be black!!
How brave of her...
Not once did she show uneasiness
Or how scared she might have been...
How come did she possess such backbone,
In her tender years...
Underneath our skins aren't we all the same!!?
Isn't our blood red, do we not all bleed if cut...
Do we not all feel, love in our hearts,
Cry when hurt when in pain in sorrow...
Am finding it very hard getting my mind around this...
The imbecility, the superiority the obtuseness
Of those high and mighty peoples of our world...
Because the colour of their skin's
Makes them so much closer to their God
Or so they seem to think
Underneath we're all the same
Ashamed they should be...
Be they black white red or yellow...
After all aren't we are all human beings!! ?

Salve!!

Salve !!
Rubbing the sleep from my eyes
As I stretch to reach you, trying
Keeping an eye on you!!
The intensity of your gaze making me feel surreal
Revibrating through me the beating of my heart
Radiating from the depths of me!
& like this primitive being,
That reason can not, think cannot feel
In this moment of time her primitive mind
Expanding her heart in this need for you
Like embers burning her blood
As she rises above you...
A temptation to her radiating energy your eyes
Gazing deeply into your soul!
Seeing, the whole of you kissing your mind your eyes,
& like a map down she goes!!
A little nip on your ear waiting for a reaction from you
Whispering softly in your ear wanting all of you!!
And from your mouth, she drinks the very essence of you
Primitively, feeling your every sinew...
& like a curtain over her face, her hair hanging over you
Peeping at you watching you...
Like a tormented being from the very depths of you
Struggling, almost like a whisper
A grown escaping lenta'mente from you
All she needed and down the map she goes!
That hollow below your chin deeping her tongue
Feeling the need, in you!
In your chest your heart beating like a drum!!
Boom Boom!
Through your veins pulsating your blood & mine
In centigrade or Fahrenheit Salve, caro!!
Looking into your eyes taking all of you
Lost in the momentum, of time losing her mind
In her primitiveness...
She called your name grasping at nothingness
An explosion erupting screaming she cried
Salve darling!!
Tears spilling out such a long time!
That crooked smile exuding,  his turn awaiting me
& I took all he had to give sublimely...
Ahh!! his eyes will be the ruination of me!
How do you see me!!

                      By Connie James

Your Phrases!!

Your Phrases!!

Darling, you're not responsible for me
falling for you...
Just your eyes the windows to your soul
Just your eyes darling are guilty
For the way, I feel for you
Yet you say you've done nought,
Encouraging me, my feelings!
Always so carefully keeping that lid upon
My feeling or your feelings
& yet I knew not that I felt this way
Until you admonishing me protestingly
Why didn't I know, or realised
Didn't see the danger of falling for you.
But your eyes a temptation to me!
Deeply into my soul penetratingly
Just a look, from you!
Darling just a look from you is enough
Making me fall apart fragmenting
Your phrases your words...
Your words incandescently burning embers my mind
So far far away you'll be...
In my dreams...
Yah! I do dream of you confoundedly
Your gaze penetrating right through me
& in my mind's mind, wow!
What's happening to me, your eyes challenging me
Yet I looked not for this...
I looked not for this at all, this turbulence within me
Eat, cannot...sleep an impossibility
Confounded I'll always be
Turmoil within me!
But like a chameleon your changing
Changing continuously changing your colours before me
I miss when you're not there, reaching for me
When see you I cannot, residing within me misery...
A straight answer you never give me...
Over time you've changed no more good nights
Evoking freely from you!
No more my darling looking, into your eyes kissing you
When all I want is to hold you!
Feel the beating of your heart against mine & feel
Feel you touching your mind with mine.
Convulsions erupting through me, uncontrollably
As we loved through the night into a frenzy...
Always be with me!!

                     By Connie James...

Remenber Me!

REMEMBER ME

Wherever you'll be, remember me
Within me!
I can feel your breath beside me
Loving me!
Continents apart we may be
But you're just across the water from me!
Burning my skin I feel the intensity of the orange sun
I can still feel the madness of that noonday
As if it was yesterday!
The evening storms carrying our madness away
Within me embedded forever will be!
In the darkness of my nights
When the moon is at her highest & sleep I can not
My mind turns on to you
Remembering that sweet madness
The way we used to do
Make love to the sound of those bells
Those church bells hypnotising me!
& the whispering breezes cooling my skin
Bringing you closer so close that in your eyes
I see glistening little diamonds dancing in your eyes
Like, blinking little fairies in the distance.
Across the water from me!
Flowing through my window the night breeze
In the silence of the night birds humming eloquently
The mysticness of the moment
Spoiling sirens breaking the silence...
As I get up & walk down the street
& sit across from the Danube I see you!
I see you,
In my minds eyes...
In the disturbing silence.

Connie James...

I Tasted Love

I Tasted Love

Like a dopamine in my blood
Burning, my mind
The very extremities of me
Soaring high in the delirium of love
Clasping, nothingness
Burning, me my mind as I soar higher
Like, that Phoenix
Riding on the thermal winds
In the ecstasy in the momentum of love
I took all you had to give abandonly
Suffice just, a touch!
As I cry out in the recesses of my mind
Euphorically
Running through me my blood like an opium
Incandescently...
In the scheme of life...
I tasted love!!

     By Connie James...

Forget Me Not

FORGET ME NOT 

Forget me not my love
For I cannot close my eyes
Never no more, I see can you not
Where have you gone, my love!
In the extremities of me in our yesterday's
love would stay & laughter our ways
Forget me not my love!
Looking into your eyes
I saw stars scintillating in the very depths of you
Your eyes blue like my seas my skies
& my oceans overflowing right up to me
Forget me not my love!
Fields of blue we walk through
Just like a sea, a cloud of blue swaying in the breeze
As in a dreamland, we'd be!!
You'd kiss me my mouth you'd kiss my heart...
& in the recesses of my mind
I still see it, the light of love in your eyes!!
A handful of those tiny flowers you picked for me
Whispering as you placed upon my hands
Forget me not my love!!
As the years passed by the excitement in your eyes
I still see now, in my tired eyes in my memories
In the recesses of my mind the very extremities, of me!
Within you, I touched your mind your heart & soul
Forget me not my love!
Reaching the very depths of you
My roots growing onto your heart
& yours taking hold within me...
My heart...
Forget me not my love!
Yet you see my love, I see not you!
By the passage of time, my eyes blurry became
But I can see you in my minds eyes!
All our yesterdays there was love to play
Beneath the stars
Forget me not my love!!
In her element, the moon shone her light upon us
Just enough to see the stars dancing in your eyes
My eyes weep through the night reaching out to you
When feel I can not your touch...
Forget you I can not my love!!
That seed erupting sprouting in my heart
For you, I've waited all through my life
Yet all alone sitting here recollecting times past
When in the darkness of my nights
You made me cry out at the touch
Burning my mind my blood.
Forget me not my love!
Once young was I had dreams
That you & I would last for all times
Yet I see you, not my love, in my mind's mind
My eyes a little rheumy tired, see you I cannot
Forget me not my love!!
Where have you gone my love
You've gone away from me!
I cannot feel your touch upon my visage...
Your, kiss upon my lips as we took thirsty sips
As we fall, laughing kissing your mouth your eyes,
Making love!!
I tried my love I tried to forget you not...
Forget me not my love!!!

By Connie James...

Peace of Mind!

Peace of Mind

My brains a cacophony waiting to explode
It's as busy as Picadilly circus
or London city in a rush
Can not move, my head won't let me
as if on the tiles I've been all night
swinging from tree to tree!
An explosion inherently within me
it won't let go of me;
Shun me!
Why he would shun me!
My tears torrents a flowing river
flowing down to the sea
Rushing through me
I want to scream like a banshee
The Moon in her element won't let me!
The disturbance nothing less than infernal
plastering their likeness before me
like hyenas laughing mocking me!
tormenting me!!
On my visage a smile I plaster
but in my heart, they cannot see
Within me killing me!
To the sea, I should go down maybe
let the waves wash over me
cleanse it may do my fu.ked up mind
from this agony.
Or an illusion that I'll always forever be
this being tormented within me!
Or contented should I be that he shuns me.
The stellar in my skies, my mind he'll always be
Reaching high & try plucking he
he's always just beyond me...
Reach I cannot the stars in his eyes
as he looks at me mockingly...
Gone away from me.
Yet there I see he!
Shining upon my skies his light scintillatingly
In silhouette, he'll be pretending he see's not me
my mind deplorable the cacophony will always be
That star that's he, I'll reach & pluck
& across my firmament, I'll skim he
beyond my universe...
If he, I see not scintillating upon my skies
a chance there might be that peace of mind
peace within me!

                    By Connie James

A Merman!!

            A Merman!!

Sprawled out on my rock for all to see
His eyes liquidy, dark pools I see in He
Lying there on my rock, how dare he!!
Unquiet my mind became,
deep dark eyes gazing at me.

Oh dear Lord his hair as silky as can be 

shining lustrously; 

His staring at me!

Look not at me thus I admonish him... 

His face chiselled his nose just a little on the snub side 

his lips red like ripe cherries 

Biting on his lip unconsciously as if not sure of me 

Ambiguity not present in He 

His arms strong his shoulders wide 

his torso chiselled as if in the gym he'd been 

I was enthralled by him I looked right through him

He mesmerised me!
He was so sure of himself there was no ambiguity about he

his face had that little, Je ne sais quoi!! 

Perfection I'd say. 

How can one be as gorgeous as He! 

I could think not I didn't want to think for

am always in trouble when I think...   

Look at me not thus! 

His eyes deep pools dark viscous

Emerging myself I'll be, how can you do this to me! 

Then changeable to a bright blue dark that you've ever seen!

As blue as my skies & the oceans before me 

enthralled was I by He!

Amazing how with that smile scintillating he seems to be

Bewitching me! 

Into the water, he takes me, am mesmerised by He

The fluidity of his moves like a ballet dancer spinning 

EnPoint he'd stand it seemed to me magnificently
his moves are pure elegant like a Dolphins
His laughter his smile penetrating bewitching me
Like a siren his song pure, reaching a crescendo
penetrating into your mind like a madness within me!
In my mind's eye's I still see He mocking gazing at me
As He slides into the sea...
A Merman! Did I see!!
Or an elusive illusion as I lie by the water's edge lapping over me
A warm summer cool breeze whispering over me
Barking mad I must be as I leave, looking back
Turquoise crystal clear waters, there's no sign of He
My imagination I dare say playing tricks on me
On my memory, embed he'll always be...

      By Connie James...