In Limbo...

Suspended I find myself between heaven and earth
Forever in limbo, I'll be
Belonging not here nor there
Those that know me not, taking the piss of me
Why...conform must I be,
Why can I not just be me!
A mind of my own to think, to feel to do
What's right for me
To love those in my life inexorably
From life, I ask not much of
Expect those in my life try to understand me
Me that has feelings just like anybody
Bleeding I do too when am hurting.
On my side, no one will ever be
Fighting, fighting just to be me
Anyone, else will I ever be
How could there be!
No one else resides within me, but me!
Why must I apologise for being me!
For being born, it wasn't up to me!
But here I find myself going through life's, uncertainties
The right thing always trying to do
But the right thing's not always right for me.
I follow not anyone you see...
My own star I'll follow wherever it'll take me.
Even beyond infinity it'll be
I guess alone I must be.
If those I care for, prepared are not to feel the same for me
In a limbo always will be
Between heaven and hell, it seems to me
My soul needs to be free
Free from those that understands not me
Just do the right thing he'd say
Papa would say to me
But the right thing for me
Necessarily it's not the right thing for them you see
The conscience of the family someone must be
But why should I think that's me!
It's done me no favours you see
For they care not, care not a jot
Cowardly they'll be
I see not, anyone fighting for me
The ambivalence in me perpetually uncertainty
Staring right at me a life I know not what'll be
But a sheep I'll not be
I'll follow no one, expect not anyone to follow me
If in harmony we can not be
Sucking the very blood from me
Leaving me weak so weak as can be
My body's lost the fight it seems to me...
Why should I care if they care not for me
With the exception of one or two
I guess that should be enough for anybody
But a few friends I have, not at all like family
I can count them in the palms of my hands
Truly they are always there for me
They make me laugh excruciatingly
Laughing uncontrollably until one's sides aching
Falling tears from our eyes
The love between my friends and I
Unconditional always will be
They ask me not what I am
What I'll be...
In limbo!  Why must I be...

                      By Connie James