Feelings..

All my life I've struggled with feelings
What one feels it's neither here nor there
Feeling hurt,  I can cope not with hurt feeling
So I try keeping mine under wraps or not
But what is, feelings! for me feelings are
What I keep deeply inside of me deep in my soul
Hiding feelings from those I know
Now and again they pop up somehow
Allowing them to show,
But if I wasn't meant to have all these feelings
God wouldn't allow me I know
What's the good of all these feelings
That I keep inside of me not allowed to share
These feelings amongst you and you and me
Some seem to think their feelings have priority
But my family & friends my heart cry's what about me!
From a very young age, Papa would say to me
Feel-it ! It's how you feel inside
As you listen to the music said he as he was trying to teach me
Feel the music darling you must feel the music
That's the only way you see, now I have all these feelings
All knotted inside of me the confusion is such
What I feel about you, you & me
I can not listen to certain music much anguish inside of me
The constriction in my heart, it's not obvious to see
As I listen to a piece of beautiful music
Feelings that I can not ignore feelings so many feelings
I was taught to feel with my soul
But they didn't teach me how to stop feeling...
How does one stop feeling
Like the beauty surrounding you the moon the sun the stars
The wondrous dunes and ocean seas
The beaches that go's on forever right there before me
As one looks around, sitting by the sea
The peacefulness the silence
The rumble of the waves crashing on the shore
Such powerful sounds you can imagine
Like some distant drums a-calling boom, boom boom.
As I inhale and exhale in time to the crashing of the waves
As I sit meditating letting it all was over me
The feeling is such am floating like float-some
To some imaginary island far, far away
Its beauty is immeasurable as I land and look around me
I've landed in paradise don't you know
The rumbling of the waves, like music to my mind
The sway back and forth back and forth
As if it's dancing the Danube
Such a magical sound as one sways to and fro
The feeling is such the exhilaration immense
As I dance by myself on that forever beach
Am floating, floating high feeling as if
Am doing pirouettes with Rudolph Nureyev
 But one must come down to earth with a bump
As the boy says hey sleepy head lets go
The unbelievable feeling I had inside of me
Comes crashing down tears for all to see
What comes down to its this its okay to have all those feelings
If one knows how to deal with them
Am afraid haven't managed as yet
To control my feelings as it is...
It seems I never will.

                                By Connie James.