Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Impossible.

                         
                         Impossible

There's a weight upon my soul, there are tears in my heart
For those friends of old, I want not to wake up.
There are tears falling from my skies, it's so grey outside
That I just want to hide under my duvet
And hibernate like the animal I've become that I want to live not
With this weight upon my soul, to curl up and go
I could quite happily at this precise moment
The ache inside of me is immeasurable
I know not why, but there are tears in my heart, it hurts
Hurting awfully bad...Why must I feel this way
For I want to shout and rage scream, at those that love me
Raging within, this pain in my heart I can do nought about
Just have to sit and wait for this pain to dissipate eventually it'll depart,
And I'll feel ashamed at the dark thoughts in my mind
Raging like a bull in a china shop, causing destruction
As am hating the world, some people in my world,
They do me no good just fucking with my feelings.
The silence penetrating my soul, I need not silence
I need laughter, love in my world and music I can dance to
Just someone the hug to hold me, telling me am okay
But my mind won't listen, for when am feeling this way,
With tears in my heart a weight upon my soul it's very hard to reason
And the tears outside, falling from my heavens...
The ambivalence in me, my mind can cope not with the raging within
I understand not why it's taking hold of the strings of my heart
For I want not to play it, for it's playing a sad tune.. in my mind,
I want not to exhume all those feelings buried or not deeply within.
Cause they hurt, wake up I want not just slip into oblivion.
Oblivion or not the case may be.I want to crawl not through the mire of my feelings.
Those that I love or not, it's immaterial, silence permeates obsessively
Ambiguously penetrating my mind with thoughts unworthy for they deserve not my love
By tomorrow, I'll think not of those that are worthy or not of my love
I shall bury it deeply into the corners of my heart,
Forget or not?
Impossible.

        By Connie James

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