Is Beauty Only Skin Deep!

Is beauty only skin deep!
Does it exude not from the depths of us
Aging before our very eyes;
From the day we are born we are ageing little by little
But we see not as others sees us
We're not even aware the way we look
What others see in us...
Growing up through the ages
The ages of all times
For granted we seem to take
The vision we see it the mirror glass before our eyes
Many of us sees ourselves not as beautiful
In my case was as thus
Quite ugly thought I was in the intervening years
In my mind's eyes;
Still, I see not what others saw in me
Lunacy comes to mind their eyes
Just thought that they hated me
The comments the stare's
Making me uncomfortable especially men!
How I hated passing them primitive beings thought I
Why couldn't they keep their traps shut    
Embarrassing me all the while
I was dying a little passing them by
Making me want to crawl to noises they made
Ohh My!!
The beauty of the family I was not, never saw myself as such
But sister Elsa such a beauty she was, radiant thought I
She exuded loveliness in my eyes
She being a pale face fair skinned light her hazel eyes
Grandmama seemed to favour her in her eyes
Whilst a brunette was I, olive skinned brown hair
Not what one would call beautiful, was I!
Now Ana had that je ne sais quoi look
Statuesque, that she was, she exuded that something else
The way she stood the way she looked!
Now the boys in the family were the Peacocks
Handsome they all are, it's not fair for the boys
To be as handsome as they are;
Luis, they called him the German
He was tall a pale face light hair skin fair & eyes
My playmate, he was through my growing up years.
We weren't a bad looking family there was a few of us
But it was drilled into us how to behave how to stand how to look
To the world's eyes, stand erect we must be never slouching
& look at those in the eyes, those that talked to us
I could go on about every one of us
But that would take too long, I'll keep that for my book
But beauty should not be what one sees on the surface
Bu what goes on deeply in one's heart
Our actions towards others a must
Helping those that needs, us
Advertising, not our good deeds, a must in my eyes
But this business of ageing
Our looks dispersing before our very eyes
As we glance into our mirrored glass
Gazing back into our eyes, not yesterday's image
As I touch the image on my looking glass
Gazing back at me it's not an image I recognise
A tear spilling from my eyes like not the changes in me
Quite scares the shit out of me;
Where have you gone, asks I!
Et Tu forsaking me! Am not me!
I see not deeply rutted indentations upon my visage
It's not vain that I'll be, I never was never will be
It's just a way we carry our selfs, arrogance some may call it!
I've never thought anything much of me
Never intered my mind that good looking was I!
Now, looking back in time at the likeness of me
Taken through the years
Maybe I understand why!
Those that would stare, at me...
Nothing changes must say!
But unflinchingly I stare without a care
For I never expected them too...
In the intervening of the years
A bane, they've been to me,
In the years of my life disturbingly;

                  By Connie James