Is It Me !

Is It, Me!
Says I ambiguously.
Being bad's not a certainty
A little badness is good I hear say
Keeping one's mind on track in every way
But I've never been real bad in any way.
In me, you bring this wantonness..this need in me
Being bad's, not an option,
Except in my mind every time I look at you
I'd love to be good at a little, badness,
This compulsion, this inherent need in me
As I struggle from day to day;
Trying; So tired of being good in every way.!
But with only one glance at you..
For it all to fall through, as you stand there proudly
My eyes drinking the wonder of you,
Tempting me..
In the extremity's of my mind can not abide,
This waiting for you,to guide me through..
This obsessiveness in me it's there for all to see.
Your words running through my mind like a fire in my blood,
Uncontrollably..
Keeping me in line, when I want not, to be
Never having enough of Thee.
But the ambiguity in me is such that I
Wanting not to be good at any time
But the ambivalence in me, control I can not my mind..
As I extol this wanting my, love..
My love, that at times spills out.
The extremity's of me..
WHY HE!
Fighting to control, this heart of mine
That at times overflows..unwittingly
Sufficing to say this badness..This need in me.
To alleviate, my world, raising stakes high in my mind
From the darkness to the lightness within I
Am lost with just one look into those blue, blue eyes
In the mire, of my mind my thoughts, lustiness within me
The way you look t me, a chance I have not.
Why must you look at me..that way!
Ominously..am lost! this yearning that hurts
My mind control, can not, what's in my heart
My heart control, can not what's on my mind  
Reasoning not why..
My mind reasons not, the ambiguity in my heart
When he pretends he sees me not ..
My mind screaming out ignore not me!
This passion in my heart this turmoil within me
As I see you my heart's lights up like;
Scintillating diamonds in my eyes!
Then sinking into darkens,
Into the mire of my thoughts as he sees not me!
From the darkness, within when my eyes see's you not
Came crashing down sadness within me,
Ambiguously!
Like a boa constrictor, constricting life from me,  
The uncertainty is enough to send me my love perpetually
Into the extremity's of my mind I ask
Why should I not be, just, that little bad!
Is it, you! Is It, me?

                            By Connie James.