Do I Pray!!

Do you pray!
I've been asked the other day
No!
Not anymore I must say
An unbeliever I've become
An agnostic I'll be
Since a mere teenager, I was
I've become unarmoured with religion you see
A lot of hypocrites they'd be...
Runs in my family hypocrisy!!
I so abhor!!
And so a rebel I've become I listen not to anyone
I do my own thing,
Someone, much higher I believe there is
Much higher than you or me!
A supreme being maybe
But I believe not in these priests, these purists!
Pure they'll not be
The evilness in some of them
Scary!!
Then I was asked
What would you like most in the world?
Well that's not too hard says I
I'd wish peace amongst the peoples of our world
To live in love and harmony stop killing one another
The greed amongst them inherently will be...
But I do ache inside of me!
Infernally!
With tears flowing silently
My throat constricting my breath
Breaking out with a cry, my heart shattering
Into thousand pieces...
In between tears I tell he
What I'd most like in the world
Would be to have back my family
Like we used to be
And look into his eyes telling he, that I!!
Assiduously I try not
Let it disperse from me trying, trying!
Bursting breaking my heart
Into a thousand pieces fragmented
My world's shattering up around me
I care not I think not, I can not bear
They've gone from me
Friends cannot pass the time of day
Always in a hurry to go by the way
Even though saying how great I was
Saying hello fleetingly, pass the time of day
Running from me!
His features popped into my eyes disturbingly
Know not what scares he
Feeling uneasy!
Within me, as my tears falling achingly
Sorry for myself I guess I'll be!
This thing that annoys me most, my feelings!
How I miss papa on this epochal season
He was the Stellar, in my skies
He had diamonds scintillating in his eyes, for us
His arms huge like a bear hugging us
Always that smile the light of love in his eyes
Our hero he was!
Nothing's worth this misery I feel within me
In my mind, I'd love to be free!
Free from the bastards in our world!
To be just me!!...

                      By Connie James ...