Break Those Sighs

BREAK THOSE SIGHS 

In the retreating shadows,
And the look from your eyes 
What if, what if...
What if for once, we break those sighs! 
A sigh is a sigh, and if broken it must be, 
For there's no one but us around here to see,
The beautiful spring flowering trees,
The leaves dancing indolently in the breeze
The river pebbles, shining right beneath me
Like nuggets of golden stars
Scintillating in my eyes.
Like clouds vagrantly
Silvery sliding, slipping away...
And on the road the feet that bleed...
Scattered the red petals bear's still...
The story between you and me, us...
The wandering scent intoxicatingly
Tears falling from your eyes,
The silent touches the fevered lips
As I look into your eyes
So deep those kisses, that blows one's mind...
The desire to possess, to touch to hold to feel
It matters not what if, what ifs...
It's immaterial to one's mind.
Even the shadow's with fecund eyes,
Whether he's home again or otherwise,
It would be so easy to maybe break those sighs
As the night train passes......
To distant lands, without you or...I
But those sighs, we must break 
We must we must break those sighs...

                     By Connie James 

Miss You Maninho

Good Morning My Friends
This morning the weather not sure what's its doing
So far bright day, there's a breeze amongst the trees
As they dance and sway, in the wind.

That's when one wishes, for the land where I was born
Where my roots run so deep, for the ones that I love
It makes no difference, the length of time one's been away
In my heart am screaming, for my Madeira.

It doesn't mean I don't like where I am, it's a beautiful country
The panorama before one's eyes is truly awesome
No better place to be... this England, that's been my home for so many years
But there's always this pull so strong, Ana's photos leaves, me yearning
My eyes feel so cloudy, I can't see the words before me, need to pack it in

The beauty of the place is imaginable so
There's no place like it, the land where I was born
I miss the gardens the flowers
They abounded everywhere, from the town to the mountains

To every corner of the land...there's the most amazing sight
A sight for sore eyes, the wonderful agapanthus
As they sway in the wind, the hydrangeas of every colour
You can imagine but for me, it's the blue and the white

That sets my heart aflame, its the colours of my childhood
Intermingled with many...like the birds of paradise
In my Paradise land...the lands of my Papa,
That he use to tend with love...in my mind I see him

Amongst the vines the sugar canes, the Banana plants,
And of those, there were many, the figs, custard fruits the guavas too
And many others, they are too many to name...just a small corner of paradise
As he tended lovingly, with the sweat, from his brow.

I miss the vision of colour, that attacks our senses
Like, the Bougainvillea, over the rivers, and every wall one sees
The beautiful flowering Jacaranda trees, a lovely colour of purple
You'll ever see...the Oleanders, hibiscus too

And all the flowering trees, I don't have the names to
The scent of the Eucalyptus intermingles with the Pine
That scent is so heady...as one's breathes deeply
To inhale to fill one's lungs, with that pure clean air

I also miss being with the family, especially as they get together
And am nowhere to be seen...in my heart I hurt, like no one's business
My fault for loving so deeply, with my heart my soul
I have a beautiful family, with the exception of one or two

But mostly I love those, that stayed close to me
Like, the sisters and brothers, like Luis I miss you so
You were my playmate, as we were growing up
Remember the kites we made...and let them rip in the air

The excitement of it all, as we run everywhere
Climbing the fruit trees, singing our lungs out
O Maritimo or Benfica songs, making the trees sway
Your and my way, then you fall off the bloody tree

In shock I thought you died...thank goodness,
Just winded to live another day, mama pulling her hair out, you devil's she'd say
Yes I miss those days when we were so close together
The same, it'll never be I miss you maninho ...In my mind my heart... 

By Connie James
heart emoticon smile emoticon

Let It Be

Listen to your heart not, if in trouble you want to be not
Cause if you listen to your heart in s..t you'll be
Logically our hearts thinking not
Just going with the flow
Whether it's right or not logically, one thinks not
Sighing we do such a lot our hearts happy are not
Dew tears, like leaking from our eyes
It's like a river that's flowing through
Running away with you
Like an ocean swaying to & fro
When our hearts so full of love
It's inherently within us to just feel
Taking hold of you
No logical reason why should you not follow through
Your heart dictating your mind
The stupidity of it, your brain listen not, not at all
When you're full of pain your hearts breaking up
Sleep you can not eat not drink not
Just dreaming of love
You walk about, zombified clearly seeing not
Staring at you in the eyes
Reason you see not love clouding,
That gossamer in your mind
And your heart cries out, cries out why!
Thinking not logically your mind
The constriction tightening around your heart
Like a Boa Constrictor asphyxiating air from your life
Opening the floodgates drowning your heart
When your hearts not in tune with your mind
Letting it be
Those that say how stupid can one be!
Let it be
You must let it be.

                                                                          By Connie James

Beating Like A Drum

 Our planet's living, breathing,
Her heart beating
Just like yours and mine...
As we struggle through day to day in this maze of life!
It's amazing to see our planet breathing
Like blood pumping through our veins
Flowing like a river
Like the oceans oscillating as if blood flowing through
Purifying its blood like kidneys
Extracting its impurities...our body's.
But our world's struggling
It's fighting for you for me
For a reason to go on living
For we humans are destroying our world!
Yes you and me...
Like bellows, it's breathing raspingly
Working hard breathing for you for me
Abusing-ly, we're poisoning the air it breathes
Taking for granted with each breath it takes
You can feel it's magnitude as it inhales deeply,
Raspingly exhaling like a breeze flowing through
I believe that our world will survive
But not necessarily me and you
If we care not for our world I wonder
If there will ever be life as we know it...
If our world falls from its axis!
There will be a to do...
Our world tumbling breaking up
Like a spinning wheel
It's rivers its oceans spilling out
Our worlds breaking up chasms falling through
A ray of sunshine, that's me aren't I!
But if we care not for our world
Our beautiful world that's breathing
It's heart beating, beating like a drum
Pumping oxygen so that you and I,
Can breathe too...smile emoticon

                               By Connie James...

Rising Feelings

The eyes see only what we want, they can not speak
Like that clap of thunder, over the hills far,far away
Am a woman that walks alone, without experience of the world,
Might as well, be a child in all innocence,
But a child does not kiss your shadow as we dance,
hand in hand in the streets... as we dance hands interlocked,
As If we'd never let go, just stay as we are, now.
Why waste time sleeping, you'll be leaving in the morning,
And I'll be left weeping...we'll share the sorrow the pain 
Immersing in the laughter, for the here and the now, 
For when your gone, I'll be in the grips of melancholy, hereafter, 
As I reach helplessly for that star, that shines high above
With the feeling of emptiness, forever more in my heart
For when I kiss you eyes your lips, as I kiss your fingertips
For I know you'll be gone, far from me, from me!
What will I do when midnight tolls, away 
When I reach out for you, and you not there;
I sleep awake sleep awake, in the thunder of the night
When my whole being trembles, like the trees in the forest,
As they sway & dance, dancing in the moonlight 
Leaving me all alone...as you've done without a thought, in the world
I shouldn't have said I loved you, between that hill
And the mountain high, what I said to you and you to me
The shining moon trailing you has brought you closer, so close 
To hold you to feel, to feel you close to me, the hunger in kisses
Brought us to an impasse, the poetry that goes beyond you or me
We have a hunger in our eyes our lips, this thing between you and me 
Hurt feelings, as you ignore me, for am human with feelings too 
I can love- hate just like you, but as we clash interlocking our arms 
As I touch your face your hair, feeling love in my heart 
As you came in from the storm, constricting my heart my soul
You are killing me, with your poetry verses of love.   

                                   By Connie James

A Different Me!

O Poetry poetry set me free for
I owe you a different me...
I owe you my mind my very soul,
I owe you my kindness that I do not own.
You owe me my loneliness my sleepless nights .
Me I owe my peace of mind.
My minds in turmoil at most time,
I need peace, that comes from within my sleepless nights!
My sleepless nights for your not there,
But sitting beneath the bridge wondering somewhere.
The streets at night are calling to you as you go roaming right through.
In the middle of night, I hear you, at the clock I look surreptitiously.
As you come home drunkenly, with words spilling out
Reciting your verses of poetry.
Whilst I've been waiting for you, longing for the touch that only you know,
As you come by, the house in perpetual moodiness sullenly,
I like you not this way!
By the river side, I cried.I cried with loneliness,
But you did not realise the pain within ambiguously crucifying me.
The boat coming my way, whispering I asked had he seen you by the way.
All night you were...Don't you know!
But when I asked why you had no answer for me, but said c'est la vie"
But my love, give me an answer won't you?
In darkness, I seem to be all my life as I walk about through the night,
Dawning approaching coming into light, there's no feeling like
Seeing the rising of the sun over that mountain high underneath that hill the waterfall.
As I look at the beauty before, my eyes
The colours of Autumn filling one's eyes, the trees laden in dew,
The grass, tears forming dew like in my eyes,
The memories reminding me,  that kiss when I kissed you!
You were so cold wet with dew,
Your face had that tinge of blue your lips your nose so cold your hands like ice
I rubbed my hands on you, just to warm you.
The dinghy at anchor on the shoreline as you sat down,
The boatman getting drunk all the time.
But your drunkenness was, in words in perpetual motion all the time.
Like poetry,
O Poetry I owe you my world my reason for living my dying my freedom my life.
My tears falling silently.. words I can tell not anybody.
The stranger I feel is within me,
I feel so lonely can't you see.
Poetry I owe you the feeling I know not what!
Of being born!
And my love my love of finding him, just to loose yet again..
O Poetry!
Poetry I owe you a different me !!

                                      By Connie James

Just Missing You.

Just Missing You

Hello, my lovely
My minds in turmoil when it should be not
There's a certain ambiguity about me!
A sadness taking control of me
I know not what's to be.
Give up you never do and it's so like you
Caring for those like me, that live in ambiguity
When my mind control can not what comes spewing out
When sadness takes hold of this being residing within me!
I would love to be free from this uncertainty;
Taking hold of me!
Yet happiness inherently in me as I open my eyes and see
An unparallel world, stretching before me
My heart cry's out in ecstasy the beauty as I see
But I do hurt my lovely
There's this ache within me, know not why it should be
And control I can not this feeling taking hold of me
Yet I know I know it should no bother me
Missing you my lovely.
You've gone away from me!
When I need you here, here beside's me
Missing your arms about me, hugging me.
In my dreams I see you,
In a distant horizon's far from me
But my mind, my mind can see!
Imaginings.
Imagining you smiling down at me!
Kissing me loving me,
How I miss your eyes playing games with mine
Dancing mischievously,
Getting a reaction from me
How I love your exuberance, making me feel
Making me feel real!
All the while laughing at me with me!
How I love to see laughter in your eyes
As you laugh uncontrollably...
Missing you my lovely,
Just missing you...

                               By Connie James...

H



smile emoticon

Whispers In The Wind.

Whispers In The Wind

In the vastness of our world, one can feel so alone!
But if whisper long and slow...Will you hear me, my love
Will you hear the whispers in the wind...
That whispering going round and round you! That ghostly sound.

Can't you see that's me calling...calling, you but you my love
Do not answer me...Theirs a fire burning in my heart
And I am waiting, waiting for you, my love
No one but you, my love ...to quench it. 

Yet I know, I know my love...That you do not share this need, my love
This obsession, that's driving me insane!
I can not eat or sleep my love...I move about zombie-like my love
With this need I have for you...to see to touch to feel you near me!

I see you in the distance...You look so young for me my love
My head tells me do not be foolish...but my heart, my heart's  breaking
Perhaps, I should whisper a little louder, my love
But I haven't the strength to whisper much louder!

It would make no difference...On the far horizon, I see you
Or is it an illusion!  You are so young and beautiful...
Do not look that way at me, my love...what chance do I have my love
If you look, at me that way...

Your mesmerizing eyes affect's me, my love... My heart cries for me, my love
How can I let you go!...But you must not want me, my love
It's not right, to want me, my love... Don't you know?
I know I 've whispered in the wind...my love

Didn't think you heard me, my love ...Now here you are
What do I do now!  As I see you face to face,
I feel a weakening, I've never felt so alive my love!
The intensity of this love, my love.

But it's not right to keep you, my love...
Do not cling to me, my love...I must let you go
Although the fire within my heart...
Will always be burning for you... my love!

                 
                                        By Connie James

Status Quo

Status Quo

I've devoured whole, cities
In the quest for love for living
Maintaining the Status Quo, tryingly!
The night winds whispering like a dream
Whilst the stars scintillating high above
As I, look between you and the stars in the distance
Beyond my universe.
Your hands reaching out for me!
The night winds hollering...
As the night gulls screeching infernally
Trying, like me, to reach,
To scale that mountain high
Just to get to you!
Maintaining still that status quo...
In isolation,  my mind reason can not
Nought! But thinking of you...
Within the darkness of my skies, my nights
Feeling lost in the wantonness of life my mind's
Like a river!
Thinking why am I scaling these mountains highs
In the darkness of my nights my firmament... am I!
Still maintaining the status quo.
But with the moon in its fullness
Shedding the bluest of light, upon my eyes
Abhorrently playing tricks upon my mind.
Leaving me like a banshee crying out why am I!
Scaling this mountain high!
But my mind so full of you needing you
To hold me tight like yesterday
Whispering was our way,
To touch to feel to kiss like yesterday!
Extenuating I can not in a chasm am I, precariously
Precipitously into the labyrinth am falling
Grasping, grasping nothingness

                 Second part

But my dreams in silhouette
Feeling your hands gently touching me
Whilst my tears are flowing like a river
Inconsolable am I, that in the dunes of my mind
Grasping on to you for dear life, holding you tight
Like in a dream, am weeping.
The mornings, dew as dawn's breaking through
My mind messaging my eyes forcibly to open...
But obliterating my mind remember can not
Into the abyss, am falling
Ambiguously am finding myself,
In the doldrums of my mind...
But with the unfurling of the morning sun
A new sun rising's imminently
Exquisite!!
Standing in awe was I awaiting its exquisiteness
Little stars forming before my very eyes
A viscous molten lava, golden river.
Rooted to the spot, move I can not, mesmerised am I
Embracing that manna before my eyes
Just, as I do mesmerisingly gazing at you
Touching kissing me & I deliriously
Drinking from that fountain that's you...
The spring where I was born!
Immersing myself was I
Into that crystal clear waters, that gives me life
Keeping still to the status quo
Touching you face your eyes
The delirium within the sighs, my mind unfocused was
In Nirvana was I loving you!
In the darkness of my nights to the brightness of my days
Like a gossamer my mind inexorably.
Dispersing.
Convoluted my mind thinking of you seeing you...
Oh, mind of mine stay with me, disperse not from me
I need to feel he close to me!
Retrieving from the depths of me, up to my eyes am I!
Yet I fall I fall!
But maintaining still the status quo
Help can not,
Immersing myself into the deepness of his eyes...
Control I can not inexorably these feelings

                                   By Connie James

My Love

Oh, my love


To gaze upon you standing there
My mind visualising imaginings!
Your touch and mine.
My mind, my very reason dispersing from me
Your eyes I can see looking at me!
Sending shivers right through me, my spine.
And I anticipating!
My mind euphorically unfocused.
Oh my love,
To feel to touch your visage, against mine
To feel to touch your lips with mine
My fingers dancing deliriously, titillating
To touch your face kiss your eyes
In another dimension am I!
Tentatively with each touch
I find delirium within my mind
Beyond the other side of midnight
Nocturnally am I, abiding I can not
This feeling, of you being not, by my side.
I, needing you the way I do
The incandescence of your gaze upon me
Fervently my mind my blood your touch inexplicably...
Upon me feeling, your fingers dancing
It's too much you see excruciatingly!
Playing games with me my mind.
Irrevocably like a volcano erupting
The explosion within.
The titillation is such that hold I can not,
It's too much the ecstasy within!
As I try grasping at nothingness...

                    Part two

Reaching for you, am crying!
To touch, the enormity of this feeling
Contain I can not, your name am calling again & again
Your fingers dancing deliriously, upon my skin...
Leaving me convulsing holding you close, so close
Eruption within me!
My mind irrevocably singing like a symphony!
But how does one come through such feelings
Contain can not the delirium within me!
As I search to find and touch!
Oh, beloved one!
Every sinew I can feel in you, your body
In my mind playing again and again deliriously
Momentarily extracting myself
Crying out in my mind! Your name.
The illusion must disperse not from me my mind
The ecstasy, am feeling, disperse not from me!
Yet I know I know!
The fires running wild burning my blood, my fingers
As I search & reach to touch
The windmills of my mind
My mind can see not a reason why!
I should quietly lie & die,
When there's so much loving to be doing...
So attuned become I the tunes in my mind
My very reason for living
Cruising through me feelings of wanting...
Desist I can not my mind amphetamine-like a drug
Taking hold of me my reasoning
Reasoning I can, not when it comes down to you
Beloved one!
My mind knows, not how to reason.

                            By Connie James.

Not Just A Commodity...

This article has given me goosebumps...
Since times immemorial baby girls women,
Having being treated like second class citizens without any value
Being born a girl in some societies would be worst, thing,
That could have, happen to the poor girl that is being born as a girl...
Being drowned discarded like rubbish or even worse let her grow up
To be abused by those that should have known better.
The blood of their blood...
To be given to some brute to abuse rape defile,
Making her feel worse than an animal without hope...
But it's so refreshing to see this place here in India...
A very good record they have not, in how to treat their females their other halves...
How things could be turned around so easily if only they followed suit they could...
Such as this village in Piplantri In the western State of Rajasthan...
Every time a girl baby is born
A hundred & eleven trees they'll plant, in the celebration of the woman baby girl born...
I'd say I'll take my hat off to you,
These enlighten peoples with respect treating their women folk like human, beings...
Not just some commodity
Extolling every last ounce of their self-respect, every drop of sweat, of blood...
Respect, they have none from those keepers of theirs!...
My blood runs cold!
OMG!
That route must not envisage...
Must not go there...
The members of this said, group... It seems they're as happy as can be...
& just as it should be!
A girl woman's not just a commodity,
They are made of flesh and blood & feelings just like anybody!
They dream dreams, & aspirations to achieve their goals...
Which at times isn't very much, but to be treated equally.
Not being dragged through the bush crawling through the mire of life...
Probably wishing that born they wouldn't be...
The picture, that I see right there before me,
A people's enlighten than most you see!
Appreciating their women folk,
After all without their women,
Where would they be?                                      
  
                                   By Connie James.