Thursday, 25 September 2014

Running Riot.


      Running Riot.
    My brain is running riot I can do nought about
    It's hard to control what comes spewing out
    The imagery not always nice as ones fighting with one's mind...
    Day in day out, under control one must ..these feelings one holds
    Whether it's right or not, to write about.
    My words at times getting me into conflict, what's in my mind
    Those that understand me not,
    What's it like to be me!
    Spilling my mind at times must, half measures, won't do for me
    Whether it's right or not, the consequences I must take, Or not!
    OMG!! at times I think I've flipped, with the things that I've said
    I act first and think not what I should have said or not..in anyway
    It's inconsequential what I do what I say,
    Once it's been voiced..or not what a relief.
    Slow am not in coming forward, in something I aspire
    Something I desire...
    At times, I drive my friend's wild, with my imagery my wants...
    Refrain I can not from voicing my thoughts uncontrollable desires
    That goes through one's minds.. a brain that control can not
    Like a child that wants not this toy that toy..no other toy will do
    That sets it's mind on.. from the start...or not.
    In ambiguity it tries not, seeing things as there are
    Like tunnel vision, one goes bumbling through life ambiguously
    Whether it's right or not argue one can not.. reason in any way.
    The ambivalence of my being the consequence of my acts
    Leaves me dumbfounded, when I think or not
    Should I have done this ..maybe not, no way.
    From A to Z I go every day of my day's in all the day's, of my life.
    Time, one has left or not time, deaths...imminent
    Purposely, we think not what's to come our way
    But when my heart's full of love, for the one's In my life
    Whether one should or not,
    Un-contradictory they're thoughts, not irrational ways
    That visualised I have, not anyway.
    An impetuous being I am, spontaneous have always been,
    Act now think later my way
    Spontaneity rules my life, whether I like it or not...
    Has always been this way.
    But in the acts through my life.. the way I've acted or not,
    Always there's been love in my heart...
    Even those that do not...see things my way!!
    The worst of me is, love those that loved me not,
    Even though I loved with all I had.
    The very core of me! My mind my heart
    It's not easy to let, go those that one loves.
    Dead, now the fatality of that love so false the conspiracy,
    Or the obsessive love on my part that wasn't wanted in any way,
    From, those blood of my blood!
    And the best of me is.. or perhaps not,
    That little by little love takes root in my heart,
    For those that are in my life day in day out
    I'll always fight for those I love.
    There are no half measures with my love
    When I love I love unconditionally...
    Don't ask why I love, I love just because.. I love.
    Those that take me as I am.
    Or whether am worthy of their love or not.
    Who's to say!

                             By Connie James.

1 comment:

  1. This is a great way of getting your thoughts out, Connie. I do it in my stories where I can control my characters to act out the way I can never in real life. At the moment my thoughts are all over the place as I feel all those things I felt passionately about and believed in seemed to be totally wrong. Maybe I lived on planet Paula for too long without seeing the bigger picture. Old head on young shoulders I was always being called when I was young. Now I realise that I need to stay focus on my writing and my husband and allow the world to just get on with what it wants to do. Good or bad I can't do anything about it. Have a great week and keep on writing.

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