Feeling Sorry For Oneself ...

I can feel the tears ...behind my closed eyes
As am in mourning for my friend, of such a long time
Its not as if he was dead. but he might as well have been
For the the pain in my heart, the constriction in my throat, my soul 
Why do I allow myself, to feel this way 
Its not as if ...he and I were ever on the same plain 
I've come to the conclusion, that one has no one 
but oneself to depend on, but when one depends on others
It just brings heart ache and pain, in my mind my soul
I never seem to learn that people are infallible, I guess including me
But I just wanted a friend, to be on my side to listen to my woos
To share the good the bad times, to laugh and cry, to whoop to ahh
When things goes right or wrong...
Why do-I allow myself, to feel this way, I guess am a pain in the ass
In every way...But am always there for my friends come what may
Trouble is they do-not reciprocate,when its the other way
When one needs an ear...a shoulder to cry on
There're always to busy, for one to depend on
Unless there-is some thing , they want from you
Otherwise, go and find some other shoulder, to blub on .