The Mausoleums of Old

Mausoleums Of  Old

In the mausoleums of times past
I walk through
Where they've planted their dead it true
Stretching before me I see desolation within me
Does anyone hear does anyone see
Visualising before me
Abandoned do I see
The spirit of others pointing at me!
Accuse me not for I can't see
Those, it times forgotten
Don't accuse me!!
Now In death, I want not to see
You pointing your finger at me!
I was there,
I was there, me only me!
I was there don't you see
I was there looking out for you
Waiting for you to come through
I was there championing you
Encouraging you to breathe through
Your breathing fast,
Much too, fast you see
Much too fast take it easy
Breath slowly Mama
Doucement Mama
But you took no heed
I knew not you were departing from me!
That last drink I gave you
You were gasping Mama!
Just to wet your lips your throat
But the wrong person that was me
I could not comfort thee
Had the words not fluently
As you slipped through my fingers
I was looking at you
Leaving me alone stupefied too
I knew not you wouldn't come back to me
As you uttered O Jesus, O my God
Leaving me!
Leaving me; As tears spilt out
From the very core of me!
Why pick on me Mama?
Why pick on me!
I wasn't the best person to be there you see
You've forsaken, me Mama!
You've forsaken me:

By Connie James

Grasping For Sanity

GRASPING FOR SANITY

Oh please go away let me be!
For you can quench not this need in me
A can of worms you've open can't you see
Working over time my mind
At all times bombarding me
Words I know not the meaning of
Cheekily saying do you need explaining
This exhilaration within me for I never thought
I had this wantonness this abandonment in me    
From those seeds you've planted on, my mind
Roots are growing all of the time
Reaching within me this longing
Endure, I can not
Won't you shut up for am kissing you
How can I kiss your eyes your lips
When you keep talking, infernally
Struggling within me these raw feeling
As you keep repeating, words I know not of
Inflaming me my mind as I get turned on & on
Your sweet nothings are sweeter than honey
As am grasping for the meaning this lunacy within me
Repeating at all times the meaning there, of
It's playing havoc on my mind
Won't you please shut up for as demented as I am
Hearing such words burning a hole, on my mind
Incandescent words I've never heard of
Burning red my face fire within;
It's there for you to see as I grappling for sensibility
Can not explain inflaming my mind
New feelings within me for I was dead within me
The freedom of such speech has left me weak so weak
Cope can not with such feelings
My minds in a mire of lust, know not how to deal with
Your incandescent words burning my mind
Questions upon questions at all times
Questions am reluctant or can not answer
Never known anyone like you as you insisting
Pressing me as I reluctant to see
Drop it give over, give me a break, please!
But a break you wouldn't give me!
Wanting to know everything about me
From what I feel what I think what I eat what I dream
Too much for me such a nosey beggar you are!
I've never felt like this before as you turn me on & on
Lunacy set me free
That first time as I heard your voice tongue tied was I
Sending shivers down my spine
I fear good for me your not with a body thinking not
When there's fever within reasoning not one's mind
One can reason not when there's fever in one's blood
With shivers down your spine lunacy comes to mind
Burning one's mind grasping for a reason not;
I feel your eyes on me incandescently wanting
This wanting the ambivalence in me!
Those seeds you've planted on, my mind
I can not see the light between you & me
But the darkness within the light as I struggle not to feel
In the recesses of my mind
The extremities this wanting in me
It can have not a good ending
Grasping for sanity:  

By Connie James















     

Words Come Not Easy...

Words Come Not Easy

Amongst the words and letters written between the lines
Those, lines I've been staring at such a long time
The words wouldn't come
they were on the tip of my tongue
So hard transferring to paper
& write between the lines what's on my mind
The scents in the air it's amongst the clouds
The scent of rain-laden heavily within the clouds
With this much-needed rain
As it descends upon a parched land
Settling upon your lips without refrain 
Glistening rain;
The blueness of your eyes deeply within
Like the colours of the cornflowers
Just down the field below me.
A wonderful sight to see
As I walk through a sea of blue,
Just like the colour of your eyes, so blue
As I caress each flower pretending it's you
Warm thoughts forming on, my mind
Struggling between those much-desired lines
Those, casting they're words with easy
As they sit & write words flowing easily
Wherever one's at its neither here nor there
I love where I am but my heart cry's
For the place where I was born.
Searching every face in the crowds
Searching for you in every man I see!
Still searching for that face
That could be He.
Who could he be?
He could be everyone or anyone
That's right.
He's the one in my dreams
That has become part of me!
Each thought each dream
Whether am awake or asleep
He's there within me roots growing deeply
He Is forever within me
Whether I've lost him or not
Words I can forget not words
Words ingrained on my mind
Words simple words can't do without him
Words like I love him...

                   By Connie James

Turbulent Waters

Turbulent Waters

First time I saw you
My heart missed a beat
Turbulent waters within me
As I sat with my cup of tea
In the recesses of my mind, I see;
If a kiss isn't just a kiss
Afraid I don't know
But if a kiss isn't just a kiss!
In awful, trouble, I'll be
Residing within me it's there to see
If a kiss isn't simply just a kiss;
From the depths of me
Ringing out of me
Every once that's in me;
I recall!
That kiss that wasn't simply a kiss
In the recesses of my mind
Euphorically I!
I recall the abandonment of that kiss
To my cost,
In the extremities of me
To the very core of me,
I cried out your name once again
I recall;
In my, minds mind I see you
Gazing at me that stare
Confounding me!
As you stare at me unflinchingly
Right through me...
Unfocused my mind becomes
Feelings like this primitive being
I felt that river flowing
Within me;
Turbulent waters running through me  
In my abandoned mind
Extricate me from me
Reason I could not
In the extremities of me
For I've wept a river
Inconsolably;
You're in my mind growing roots
The very core of me
My heart cries a river
Within me!!
Immersing myself
Into those dark pool's that's your eyes
I can not surmise this need in me
As I think of you irrevocably
In my primitive mind, of minds
Wondrous pictures do I see
As you stand there before me
Reaching out to you on tip toes I go
Lifting my eyes my lips kissing you
But if a kiss isn't just simply a kiss
Extinguishable my blood I don't know
Burning my fingers
The fire in my blood gazing at you
Refrain can not
For you're under the very skin of me...
I can see in the very depths of you
Mesmerising bewitching me
Playing dangerously
Confounded I'll be
If I'll ever know what you mean to me!!
But you've grown roots within me:
Ringing through me that song
That a kiss ain't just a kiss
What can it be!

                 By Connie James

 











 

Whispers In The Wind

Whispers in the wind

In the vastness of our world
Why?
Should we feel so alone so lonely within!
Yet I know your there but you can't see hear me
But if I whisper long and slow
Will you hear me, my love
Will your hear the whispers in the wind
That whistling sound
Going round & round, that ghostly sound;
It's me calling you, to come to me
Don't you see!
That's me calling you
But you my love do not hear me
You do not answer me!
There's a fire burning in my heart
Am waiting, for you, my love to quench it
Yet I know, I know my love you share not this need
This obsession that's driving me insane;
Can not eat or sleep my love
You're beneath my skin!
In the distance I see you,
You're so young & beautiful
Much, to young for me!
My love
In the darkness of my nights I yearn for you, my love;
My head tells me do not be foolish, but my heart!
My heart's breaking.
Should I whisper much louder my love;
I have not the strength to whisper much louder;
It makes no difference.
On the far horizon, I see you
Is it an illusion!
The vision of you, my heart missing a beat
You're so young & beautiful!
That proud gait in your walk;
The way you stand looking at me!
Please!
Do not look at me that way!
What chance have I my love
If you look at me that way!
Your mesmerising eyes affects me
Bewitching me!
My heart cries for me my love
How can I let you go!
But I must let you go; can't you see!
You must not want me, my love
It's not right to want me, please let me go
I know I've whispered in the winds my love
Didn't think you heard me,
Now here you are, what do I do now;
I've never felt so alive my love
You bringing shivers to my spine as if
Butterfly's fluttering within, me
It's beyond me;
The sight of you playing delicious havoc,
Within me my love!
Am pleading, let go of me!
The intensity of this love is right beyond me
But, it's not right to keep you, my love
Please do not cling to me!
I must let you go...
Although the fire in my blood
Will keep burning for you
My love!!

  By Connie James

All Of You!

All Of You

By the riverside, I lie
With the moon's gravity anchoring, me
The moon blue in her fulness
Shedding her light upon you upon me
The stars in the skies
In their element,
Playing with my senses;
Whilst you could sense a river, in me!
My lips still burning from that kiss
In my veins my blood's boiling;
My senses overwhelming me
Holding on to you as in a vice,
All of you;
Right there by the riverside
You sensing a river in me
As we made love one more time
Extricate, could not myself from you
My senses having no defenses,
My body yearning for you;
As my fingers doing the talking
Exploring every inch of you
In the darkness of my nights,
Am reaching out for, you
My whole being aching in the need;
As I kiss every pore of you
Whispering over you!
In the darkness of my nights
Before dawns shone through;
In the morning misty dew;
Can you feel not my darling
My breath upon you;
It's been such a long time, my lovely
Don't you know!
As I find myself writing manically
Euphorically
Before death takes a hold of me!
Into infinity....

           By Connie James

Marking Time!

Marking Time

Good morning my world
Does anyone else hate that ticking sound
Of a clock, like a bomb waiting to go off
The old boy just bought one of those
Ghastly tick-toking clocks
How I hate that tick-toking sound
Banished it must be to the depths of the drawer
Marking time!
Playing with my mind my senses that sound
Driving me spare that tick-toking!
In the darkness of my nights
When sleep eludes me, unable to sleep.
& playing games with my mind
Words stretching before me,
In the darkness of my nights
When sleep I cannot I stretch over to him.
When sleep eludes me!
In a perpetual motion my nights
On this night of nights
Rigorously keeping time:
Please stop time in your tracks won't you
Your driving me spare with your tick-toking
For he'll be gone in the morning
Before dawn's rushes in
Leaving me in despair
We have nothing but this one night
To experience our love together
Just this one time;
But your tick-toking
Reminding me that in time
Inconsolable sorrow within me my mind
Won't you contain time in your tracks
On this night of nights between now
& infinity let time stand still!
On this perpetual, night of nights
For he'll be gone forever in the morning
Before dawn rushes in
Your driving me spare with your tick-toking
Won't you, contain time in your hands;
For he's the light the stellar in my skies
From me, he'll be gone & I'll die;
Life without him is impossible will be
Banished must be your infernal sound
Or he'll be gone forever;
For he's the stellar, scintillating
In the darkness of my skies
Before the rising sun rushes in
Reaching for that star
Scintillating in my darkest firmament
If in your hands contain, you can not time
On such a night as this.
I'll know I'll die:

                     By Connie James