The Hungry Years

Lying, splayed out taking the sun
Feeling it's rays upon me
It's warmth going right trough me
Until He camera in hand focusing on me
Belief can not in my face that camera he'll always be
Why can't I just lie here worrying not
Whether the boy will or not
Focusing, on me the lens of his camera, disturbingly
On that rock, I lie like a beached whale knackered out
Go away won't you, please let me be
My body's not what it's used to be no, no sirree
Everything's gone down south...
But tunnel vision there must be inherently in he
That he sees not the decaying in me
My body thickening out slith I used to be
In my face clicking away
Flinching there's me, hiding my face from he
Oh please go away
Take away that camera with you
My sale by date I've passed its true
But clicking away engraving my soul
On the lenses of his camera!
With tears escaping my eyes I cry,  
What have they done with me!
For am not the same you see
But he sees not the real me!
But this illusion of what I used to be
Blinkered he must be
Grateful I should be that he sees not the decaying of me
Like a mermaid tired out,
Splayed on that rock its warmth penetrating through me
Gazing at the sky's wonder in my eyes...
Swaying in the breeze I see the gulls flying with easy
Waking from my revelry, my youth, stolen from me!
Stealing my youth whilst I wasn't looking
Now still I lie bikini, clad splayed out on this rock
Nothing changes, not a lot, except me!
Camera in hand with the illusive illusion that, am still hot!
By far, you're the best of the lot as far I can see
But my mirrored glass tells me otherwise, am not me!
Silently my tears flowing where have I gone
What's happen to me!
Touching my mirrored glass
My eyes following the lines on my visage
But a line on my visage I have not, yet what do I see
As another tear escapes me
It's not me that I see but a complete stranger staring at me!
Missing the hungry years when I used to be me!

                                      By Connie James