Alone...

This morning my world's pressing down on me 
There's a heaviness in my heart 
A gossamer over my eyes that wake I want not.
There's pain in my heart
Why lonely must I always be, if those in my world 
Understands not me
Understands not what I am what I'll be
Turmoil resides within me...
Ambiguously my mind chastising me for thinking not
Spontaneity rules my life my world
Thinking not always
But the ambivalence in me as I live from day to day
Living a day at the time's my way.
Care not always what I do or say
But my nature is to love those in my world
But if at times my language fall's by the way, side
In something that I do or say...
Always has been my way to speak my mind!
But if those in my world care not to hear what I say.
Best stay away, from a mind that thinks not, always
At war with my mind, in what to do what to say...
But if careful I have to think, my mind filters not
My thoughts it happens not in any way.
Flowing through they come, whether good or bad
The essence of me, why must I be me this being!
This being that now's not that cope's can not
Living from day to day
Trying letting not the turbulence within my thoughts
Escape from the corners of my mind
My mind that does not dance and sing at all times
But sinks in the mire of my thoughts
When there's doubt within my mind
Much rather my heart sang and danced at every change
Except darkness robbing the light from within my mind
Extracting not that gossamer impeding light
From my eyes living me in darkness
Alone!

              By Connie James