What If

WHAT IF!!

In the retreating shadows
& the look from your eyes
What if what if for once
We break those sighs
A sigh is a sigh & if broken it must be
For there's no one else but us to see
The spring flowering trees
Laden heavily for all to see
The river pebbles the vagrant clouds
& the feet that bleed
The pavements the red petals bear's still
The story between us the wandering scent
 The silent tears falling from your eyes
The silent touches the fevered lips
It blows one's mind the kisses in the night
The desire to possess to hold, to feel
it matters not what if what ifs
Even the strange shadows with the fecund eyes
Whether he's home again or otherwise
It's so so easy to maybe break those sighs
As the night train into distant lands
Passes without you or I!!
     
             Connie James

The Rest's History

This is an epic one welcome to read if you so chose too.


In the portals of all times
You appeared on a dawn's morning dew
Waking from your slumber,
Stretching your limbs rubbing your eyes
Gazing about, you with wonder in your eyes
Before you this little paradise;
Those other creatures strolling without a care
Taking notice, not of you...
Contented you seemed in, your little world
Exploring every which way you went
From that mountain high to the valleys below
Across the savannas wild
You were king of your little paradise.
A smile in your eyes opening your arms wide
Taking in, the moment, you were satisfied.
Then one day it became obvious
That there was just one of you
While there were two of the other creatures around you
Morose you grew feeling alone
But why should there be just one of you?
When with other creatures there were more two
Sitting watching for days
Taking note of their behaviour
They seemed happy following each other, playing games!
While you alone had not a mate to be with you
Befriending other creatures running around
You became unsatisfied they weren't your kind as you saw it...
Feeling alone; He became aware of his aloneness...
Becoming aware of his loneliness his maker taking note
But contentment resided within he
One night in his sleep he's a maker from his ribcage took a rib
& moulded Adam a pretty little creature
So he could go about with
So on that first day of days on a morning's fresh dawn
Before the rising of the sun erupted through
On that early morn's dew, as he stretched opened his eyes...
There was a chorus in the air a symphony
The other creatures in his world sang
Halleluiah, in the extreme...
Overflowing happiness within, standing, before him
A new creature gazing at him...in the periphery of his eyes
Uncomprehending, he stood looking at Eve
Where have you sprouted from; asked he, a new species!
She stood there while he took note of her
She's not quite like him the differences about her
To start, she had two bumps on her chest
& down bellow definitely different
Flummoxed was he, he was different...
He stopped could not gazing at her; perturbed-ly
Extending his hand, he took hold of hers
As they went about happily, he had a creature such as he
He was content, life was beautiful happiness exuded within
Then one day his maker got bored wondered how to excite things
So he called Eve & Adam into his presence telling them;
Pointing at Adam, saying you are, man & you are, woman
I moulded you in my two hands, like all those creatures before you
So to put a spanner in the works, he lets them know;
All of this belongs to you!
All you see before you is yours also I've given you a brain, so use it
all you can see before you, you can eat,
All of the fruits you can see on the grounds on, the trees;
How lucky they were in living in such a place as this!
Then he pointed at Adam & Eve
But you mustn't touch that fruit that's she
For she's the most glorious of fruits...Promise!
So he promised not to eat that fruit that was she;
Then one day, Eve is just like me!
Rebelling for all to see ignoring all she's told
Following her own star. curiosity within her;
Why must he eat not a fruit such as me! Though she...
She asked Adam why can't you have me
I too am a fruit you see!
Adam shook his head no, he's forbidden me
To pick fruit from your tree looking at her dejectedly
The days went by Eve had another try tempting him
Then why  must other creatures enjoy each other's trees
Why cannot we shake our own tree!
That's the way it's meant to be said he;
But there was this worm-eating burrowing into Eve's mind
Despite herself, desist she would not, again she must try
For ripe was she this very moment...
Offering herself one more time, strong, enough he was not
For there was, fire in his blood his mind matching hers;
Their world came to an end there & then
For they found moments of love
Euphorically deliriously happy
When their world was in its infancy
In each & every moment;
The rest is history!
Or so they say!!

                By Connie James

Like an Emperor O

Like an Emperor

In your superiority, you took your stance
Like an Emperor!
Looking hot as a burning, ember
Burning incandescently, within me
What was a girl meant to see!
In your stance giving, not an inch     
You stood gazing at me;
Standing by, your chariot you should have seen;
Deeply rutted, in the indentations of my, mind
I stood gazing, at you as you came by
You looked at me with that, smile
Just a hint of a smile
Indolently, annoying me
In the extremities of my mind, he looked divine 
His hair curled just, a little around his eyes,
The back of his neck...
He, wore that Toga just, to impress me!
Sending shivers down, my spine
His feet slightly apart arms. akimbo
Holding, his stance for all to see
I gave him my scarf, so he'd ride for me
I saw the starlight, in your eyes
As you picked up speed & rode away
Your hair floating, whispering in the breeze
Your arms so strong, holding those reins
I could imagine, every sinew running through, you
Looking back at me!
Sun's in your eyes you couldn't see me!
Playing games, my mind
As I! Imagining you kissing, me
Taking hold of me, for all your worth;
Through the streets of Rome,
Manically, I see that chariot of yours riding, by
Leaving behind those, indentations
Deeply rutted, in the streets of my mind
Running to you, with laughter in my eyes
Hungrily kissing you, been such a long time
Whispering over me, your hands
Surprised, how your touch affected me
In the extremities of my mind,
I could feel every sinew, touching you
Feel your heart beating, against mine
Taking hold of me one more, time
Of reasoning, incapable my mind
No returning for me...
Taking all you had to give, all of you;
Delirium, within me.
Grasping at nothingness, to anchor me
I was lost, lost in the momentum, of time
Escaping from me implicitly, my mind
Calling out your name, time and again
It took every once of me to find the strength,
I gave you my life...
Gave you  my all; If desired
I gave you my mind...
A brain, of my own I do possess
Play you can not, with this brain of mine
Into overdrive, may go at any time
Waking up from my, reverie
My secrets reside in the recesses, of my mind
The very extremities, of me;
 Back to reality...

          By Connie James

Temptations too Much..

I've only that flickering, candlelight
To just about see!
There's a certain, warmth in it
As I sit by the opened, window letting the night in
Trying, writing ambiguous, words
That, I know not the meaning of
Like those meaningless words, written on the wall
Mirrored, like reflections
Deeply into my, psyche secret dreams
Dreams, that gives you that warm feeling all over
Dreams that you, want not to wake up ever
As the wind blows through, my window
Bringing me back from my, reverie
My pen touching my lips
The lips that called, out your name
The pitta patter of the rain
Upon my window, pane
Bringing, me back to reality
Of thoughts, flowing through my, mind
What if, what if it was he!
With words playing, in my mind
Dreaming, unconsciously
Of the stars & the moon in her fullness
Right above me!
As I reach & touch, touch uncertainly
Your mind, with mine, possibly
That vision before, my eyes
That I've created, in my poetry
The madness, that sheer madness
The magic between, you & me
As I find my pens, starts uttering
My eloquently, ambiguously
Unintelligent, kind of poetry
Like a rebirth, within me...

              By Connie James

Me Myself & Me

Once there was a time
When there was love laughter in my life
A family, song & dance ever after
Rang through the days of our lives
Now I've memories rather painful
Things are not as they used to be
Music & writing has always been
A safety valve for me!
To be drowned in music
Reliving my mind from the uncertainty
Of those that were with me
& writing getting out of my system
The sorrow within me
Music takes me to a place
Where I used to be content
At one with me!
Me myself & me

                Connie James

Waiting For God

*

Waiting for God!!

With deep, rutted creases
Along with the passages of time
Those eyes must have seen impressive sights
& those hands must have touched her lover's visage
Her lips must have kissed with a hunger
from within;   The sighs...
& being kissed in return with love;
Having that human touch, touched her heart
And her hair once beautiful lustrous
Sweeping fingers through to touch
Now a mere negative reflection of long & white
Instead of a glorious black.
Sitting pensive wondering where the years have swept by
Left with memories of a time that's passed her by
She must have loved with abandon in the days of her life
From every orifice happiness pouring from
The love light in her eyes
Exuding from her the laughter scintillating from her eyes
Hysterically she must have laughed
Until it hurt, holding hilariously her sides
& she must have cried in sorrow some of the time
When life's disappointments crossed her path
& surely she must have wished to be happy
That happiness would last for a lifetime
When she cried through the darkness of her nights
When love passed her by;
In sadness tears falling from her eyes
But with memories intact, you can see in her eyes
Turning over her mind's mind...
When once upon a time, life was fun life was good
Now only memories exudes
Whilst sitting, in her own world
Waiting for God
In dignity still beautiful!!

     By Connie James

Solitary Sound...

Midnight came with the beautiful
Sound of a solitary flute
As the moon appeared on my velvety blue firmament
With a promise of cumulus white clouds
A sky bare of clouds rather boring
& I so love clouds;
The leaves dancing in the breeze
As soft as the touch of she!
Glancing all around me as if in a fairy land we'll be
Forever framed in a dream
A dream of peace understanding a dream of love
Moments like these are rare very rare indeed
Like precious elements grains of sand
A momentous explosion fusing together
Like an infusion of love
The rhythm set by nature that's all that's needed
Day & night, night & day
But we're always in a rush, no time to stand and stare
Running like demented soulless beings
Careing not to stand & stare
Please stand still for am looking at you!
No one listens no hears no one cares
Understanding not the meaning of those
Undecipherable words & so the journey goes on
For we are on a journey a journey of discovery.
As the train pulls away sounding its whistle
Warning everyone we're on our way
Familiar faces; Faces known to most
Some unfamiliar faces telling their own stories
& some in muted silence
The magical journey going through darkness & light
Through different time zones arriving to a sudden halt
To the loneliness place on earth that station was;
Am no one special, yet am someone
There must be someplace somewhere
In search for a different meaning of life of love
As the train came to s sudden halt
That's precisely how it started again
Suddenly we were moving again
Without any warning the skies opened it's flood gates
An almighty clap of thunder fork lightening
Shook the whole earth
As if it's tumbling on it's own axis
Particles fragmentation's of a primitive naked earth
Breathing fire breaking up all around.
The moon lit in her fullness the stars above...
Was mesmerised a weird light upon our skies.
Questioning! Questions unanswered...  
There will always be an answer
A meaning to unanswered questions;
Being written some place some where
A new soul being born
Who are you!
They asked no answer from anywhere,
As the years passed on the last day of the last sun
Still asking the question, the same question
Who are you?
There was no answer, they'll never!!

               By Connie James